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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I'm not a tart and tell him to fuck off?

490 replies

treeofhearts · 28/05/2018 01:13

I see a Chiropractor and a Physiotherapist weekly for a painful skeletomuscular condition and have done for years. This is necessary to maintain mobility in my spine and reduce pain. I've been with DP for 8 months and he has known about my condition since we met.

Last week he came with me to the appointment for the first time. I didn't consider it a big deal, there is no reason he has never come with me, I just usually go when he is at work but he is off this time and came along.

He has absolutely flipped his shit, calling me a tart, naive and all sorts and referred to the clinic as a fucking perverts paradise.

The reason for this little tantrum? They are all men. And it never occured to his tiny brain that in order to have spinal adjustments, I would have to take my top off.

Apparently I'm having an affair with them. All 3 of them, possibly at once, he wasn't clear on this bit and the massage therapist undoing my bra constitutes sexual contact which is cheating. Hmm

For clarity, the (very professional) massage therapist has me remove my top and then lay face down before unfastening my bra and leaving it open so it still covers my breasts. Afterwards he wipes the oil away and does it back up before I get up. At no point does he cop an eyeful.

I'm clearly having an emotional affair with the Physio because we were talking about films that had made us cry while he was twisting me into unnatural shapes and sticking needles into me because apparently men don't do that unless they are interested and the Chiro was disrespecting him by hugging me when I walked in. He hugs everyone and flirts with anything with a pulse! It's just how he is.

Oh and it's not even legal for me to be half undressed alone in a building with 3 men.

Give me fucking strength. AIBU to tell him I just don't have the energy for this shit and to grow up or fuck off?

I have been going to this clinic every week for years! I have known the 3 of them for years, especially the Physio who actually saved my life a few years back by talking me out of suicide and confiscating my medication for 4 days to make sure I didn't take too many of them. None of them have ever so much as taken an inappropriate glance let alone a liberty and are completely trustworthy.

He will not let this drop. It's doing my head in. Constantly trying to trip me up with probing questions about them and my treatment. I am seriously considering telling him to fuck off to his mothers.

OP posts:
Colbu24 · 01/06/2018 22:32

I guess if they were women you'll be a lesbian?????
Time to get a grown up boyfriend.

MiddleClassProblem · 01/06/2018 22:32

But you still have the Pringles?

Thank fuck you weren’t there though Flowers

UpstartCrow · 01/06/2018 22:34

Thank god he kicked off at witnesses. He can't worm his way out of that.
He hasn't changed, he was always like this but hiding the crazy behind a mask. Please contact Paladin and get some advice!
paladinservice.co.uk/contact-links/

Also, read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. There are ways to help you spot and weed out the nutjobs early on.

Branleuse · 01/06/2018 22:34

oh my god. He's a proper psycho

ohfourfoxache · 01/06/2018 22:34

Holy fucking shit Shock

couchparsnip · 01/06/2018 22:34

Oh no! Hope you are ok OP.

blaaake · 01/06/2018 22:36

when I didn't answer they put two and two together, came up with 6 and decided he'd killed me.

Shock

The fact that he was deranged enough for them to think this shows you're well rid of him. He needs fucking sectioning.

Unhurried · 01/06/2018 22:36

Well the good news is the nutter is on the police's radar.
Tell you what OP, you've had a lucky escape, although you come across as more than capable. Log and report any contact from the shitbag.
Wishing you well OP.

treeofhearts · 01/06/2018 22:36

Yes! I have the Pringles. Don't worry I have my priorities straight.

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 01/06/2018 22:49

Well that escalated quickly.

I'm kind of happy to read you didn't witness that level of batshittery. Others did, which will be far more valuable to a court/judge/jury than a case based on your word versus his.

Enjoy the Pringles and keep the humour going.

MarklahMarklah · 01/06/2018 22:53

Bloody hell! Very fortunate in a way how things panned out, as obviously he can't really deny any of his actions. Hope that he is duly processed by the authorities and you can now enjoy your Pringles in peace.

Hissy · 01/06/2018 22:56

Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry!! (((Hug)))

They aren’t all like this, I promise

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 01/06/2018 23:07

Have you shared news of the incidents with any friends or family nearby, OP? Anyone around to lend a rl bit of support?

Ginkypig · 01/06/2018 23:07

Oh my God your so fucking lucky, he sound like the type that goes from loving to abuse to murder in a flash.

Just think what could have happened if he had turned up at your house say late when things are quite instead of going to the clinic in broad daylight.

As much as it is horrible what happened the fact he turned up at an open business with witnesses means that the police will not hopefully treat this a a domestic issue.

treeofhearts · 01/06/2018 23:12

I feel bad for the guys getting dragged into it all. They were horrified. I'm just glad it didn't escalate to violence and tbh glad that he was so aggressive with the police as they will probably not take kindly to it.

OP posts:
JeNeBaguetteRien · 01/06/2018 23:14

Hi Tree, I was coming back to your thread to suggest you make enquiries with the police under Clare's Law, but having seen your update I just wanted to say how glad I am that you had your head screwed on and got rid of him.
It's horrible for the police officer he spat at and the staff and lady at the clinic but so good that you escaped.
Like a few posters said, there might be little things that in retrospect seem odd. Just glad you're out safe (and with your pringles!)

YouTheCat · 01/06/2018 23:19

Omfg!

Hey at least plenty of others have witnessed his complete madness.

MipMipMip · 01/06/2018 23:20

I think you need to take a very large box of chocolates to the clinic. On the plus side they sound absolutely lovely. Ringing up to check you were ok is a very good thing.

Flowers
Motoko · 01/06/2018 23:25

Just goes to show why you should never ignore a red flag. How easily the mask slips and what you thought was a gentle, kind and loving partner, actually turns out to be a dangerous, raving psycho.

Be careful. I wouldn't put it past him to try something else once he's out. I think it would be a good idea to think about moving house.

BewareOfDragons · 01/06/2018 23:27
Shock

I'm so glad he's shown his true colours to others and been arrested.

You've had a terribly lucky escape. He's absolutely deranged!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 01/06/2018 23:27

OMG so glad you binned him Shock
20 cats sounds rather appealing after that tbh, but I’m sure you won’t end up alone, you sound like you have a healthy sense of what a relationship should be and there are many good guys out there, it’s just the difficulty of sorting the wheat from the chaff. Good luck Flowers

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/06/2018 23:29

Wow Shock

I think you might need to do the clinic test early on for future relationships op - save yourself some time!! Don't tell the man that this is what you are doing, obv....

treeofhearts · 01/06/2018 23:34

I think I need to take a box of hard liquor to the clinic tbh.

Moving house isn't an option but I have two dogs and an alarm and I think I'll have a peephole put in.

I am so damn lucky that this didn't happen in a few months time after he moved in or God forbid we had children together.

OP posts:
DavidBowiesNumber1 · 01/06/2018 23:47

You have had a very lucky escape! I hope to goodness he keeps away from you now

Shinesweetfreedom · 01/06/2018 23:58

Wow tree I wonder what his history is.
Whether he has done this to others.
Did you meet any of his friends.