To think I'm not a tart and tell him to fuck off?

[treeofhearts]

I see a Chiropractor and a Physiotherapist weekly for a painful skeletomuscular condition and have done for years. This is necessary to maintain mobility in my spine and reduce pain. I've been with DP for 8 months and he has known about my condition since we met.

Last week he came with me to the appointment for the first time. I didn't consider it a big deal, there is no reason he has never come with me, I just usually go when he is at work but he is off this time and came along.

He has absolutely flipped his shit, calling me a tart, naive and all sorts and referred to the clinic as a fucking perverts paradise.

The reason for this little tantrum? They are all men. And it never occured to his tiny brain that in order to have spinal adjustments, I would have to take my top off.

Apparently I'm having an affair with them. All 3 of them, possibly at once, he wasn't clear on this bit and the massage therapist undoing my bra constitutes sexual contact which is cheating.

For clarity, the (very professional) massage therapist has me remove my top and then lay face down before unfastening my bra and leaving it open so it still covers my breasts. Afterwards he wipes the oil away and does it back up before I get up. At no point does he cop an eyeful.

I'm clearly having an emotional affair with the Physio because we were talking about films that had made us cry while he was twisting me into unnatural shapes and sticking needles into me because apparently men don't do that unless they are interested and the Chiro was disrespecting him by hugging me when I walked in. He hugs everyone and flirts with anything with a pulse! It's just how he is.

Oh and it's not even legal for me to be half undressed alone in a building with 3 men.

Give me fucking strength. AIBU to tell him I just don't have the energy for this shit and to grow up or fuck off?

I have been going to this clinic every week for years! I have known the 3 of them for years, especially the Physio who actually saved my life a few years back by talking me out of suicide and confiscating my medication for 4 days to make sure I didn't take too many of them. None of them have ever so much as taken an inappropriate glance let alone a liberty and are completely trustworthy.

He will not let this drop. It's doing my head in. Constantly trying to trip me up with probing questions about them and my treatment. I am seriously considering telling him to fuck off to his mothers.

tree I always said DD1 would be a medical assistant or a body piercer, when I went to have blood taken she watched, grinning. She was 4. 😂 Surprisingly, she's gone for maths.

OP - stop communicating with him. Not matter what he says, or accuses - just ignore.

Any response from you is communication - and you want that to STOP, right now.

Don't try 'putting him straight' or trying to get through to him, or to make your point - jsut ignore. Otherwise you are feeding it.

*I had my back tattooed. The tattooist offered me a towel, I declined, he said, "you might want one because of

run - and run fast. At least its only 8 months you've invested.... imagine a few years down the road, you will not be allowed out of the house, have to use skirts that reach the ground, and potentially use a Darth Vader Mask while opening the door to the postman.

You’re trying to give him excuses now. It’s not odd that he’s hide and his reaction to seeing you being rubbed “topless” (in his view) is different from you going for a drink with a gay friend.

This is him. You just haven’t seen this side to him yet. And he’s still doing it so it’s definitely how he views the world.

People don't just change like that, overnight, do they?

They can and often do. Controllers are at their most dangerous when they feel they are losing control of their victim. They can turn from Prince Charming to Vlad the Impaler overnight.

You've had a very lucky escape and I hope you and others have learnt a lot from this experience. I believe the majority of people who were urging you to run for the hills from the beginning of this thread were doing so because they have personally seen exactly this kind of behaviour play out before, not because we have some nasty desire to break people up for the fun of it.

Kudos to you for taking the advice and having the strength to follow it through. Too many others don't and pay a very heavy price.

Stop communicating with him, block him on social media, block his number on your phone, do not reply to emails, and are you certain he does not have a duplicate key?

No, the tattooist was male, but as several people have said about these professionals, he wasn't ogling my tits, he was concentrating on creating fantastic artwork on my back. The reason he offered me a towel was because I didn't need a bra back then.

Tree I have known abusers keep the mask on for much longer than that. It takes real effort but they can do it.

You have seen the real him now. Don't kid yourself the man you thought you knew is the real him - it really isn't. Stay well away from him and do call police if he returns.

My ex was normal for around 9 months. Friends, family, everyone thought he was the nicest guy in the world.

He utterly flipped on day because I met up with a male friend (who I'd been friends with for 15 years with never a thing happening, I even introduced him to his then fiancé, now wife and mother of their child) and went for dinner.

He scratched all the panels on my new car, trying to smash my front door down. He rang friends telling them he was going to kill me. He rang my boss saying I'd been abusing the child I cared for. He did many other things.

He utterly, utterly lost his shit. Never had the slightest inkling this lovely man could do that. He was so charismatic, even convinced a few police officers that I'd done the things myself and my friends were lying for me until one day he rang screaming at me and a police officer was actually sat with me and listening.

People can be very good at hiding part of themselves!

My ex was very similar, I’d left a very abusice relationship and he for the first few months was just wonderful. Overtime he removed all the male contacts from my phone and went apeshit when I went for a drink with my male cousin, apparently we were sleeping together.
Every man I walked past I fancied etc etc
The final straw was when I had an ectopic pregnancy removed and the next day he accused me of shagging the surgeon.
When we split up he would hang around outside my house and once text me to let me know what I was wearing etc.
I realised he had been peering through the letterbox so I put a curtain up at the door and he sent me a text fuming that I’d done that!
I wish I had logged it all with police as looking back now at his behaviour he actually was terrifying.

Plenty of men manage to pretend they're nice and normal until the woman is in the most vulnerable situation, like pregnant or with a newborn. You had a very lucky escape.

Why are you still conversing with this man OP ? I though you had blocked him after returning his belongings

Bloody hell some of this is shocking reading :(

Because, Gemini, he was shouting through her letterbox...

oh aye.. sorry I'm half asleep today...

Hi OP, how have things been since you last posted. Has your Ex ramped things up or is he giving you peace and quiet?

Hi David. It's all rather kicked off here, in spectacular style and long story short, he has been arrested. I'll update a bit later, when I get home, explaining what happened. I missed it all though, typically.

Omg OP.... please let us know you are ok

oh god. I hope that stops him. He sounds bonkers

I'm fine Gemini, thank you. As is always the way, I missed all the drama and did not have the satisfaction of seeing him dragged off but apparently he spat at the police officer.

Omg!

I've been lurking on this thread and never thought it would get to that. I hope you're ok OP.

he spat at the police officer.

He's such a charmer. He will probably be charged with assaulting a police officer..............