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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, cheeky fuckers - a holiday edition

353 replies

HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 19:24

On holiday with all my DC (5 of them), ages 15-3. Single parent. So a busmans holiday really.

2 days ago kids came back trailing another random kid. Happens every year, always kids with no siblings. No problem in theory, 5 kids 6 kids doesn’t make much difference. Then kid would NOT go away. Knocking on the chalet door at 8am, (parents smiling and waving from their decking) 😒, we left for the beach at 10am. An hr later kid turns up with his parents. They sit 50ms away and kid comes over to play.

So now in effect I’m watching their kid plus mine as they sunbathe and read all day. Sent him back at lunch. He comes back the second we stop eating. I send all kids over to his side to play. Mum then brings them back as her husband is asleep!

Again same thing today, kid came to the pool. Didn’t see his parents all day as presumably I’m supervising him? Asked him if his parents knew where he was, he said yes. I went back to his chalet (left teens watching kids) and asked them if they knew where he was. Parents sunning themselves on their deck. Mother at least had the good sense to look embarrassed and said ‘oh he’s loved playing with your lot, send him back if it gets too much’ WTF?! I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry

Just finished dinner and he rocks up and starts playing outside with the younger ones. Got ice creams from the shop and couldn’t leave him out as he went with them. I can see the CFs sat two decks over drinking wine and reading.

AIBU to send all kids over there and lock my door for an hour 🤔. How long before they send them back do you reckon?

OP posts:
butidontwannausemyhead · 27/05/2018 21:44

That's shitty. I feel really sorry for the kid too :( he's clearly bored and his parents don't give a shit.

neveradullmoment99 · 27/05/2018 21:44

Go out for the day! Take the kids to another beach and have a picnic!

SeriousSass · 27/05/2018 21:44

Before I started doing this I felt like a crèche. When they knock on the door I say 'my DC will maybe be out later but we're busy now. Bye'

I think this is still too wish washy for some kids. I would say to kids that they are not allowed to knock on the door at all. Id say it nicely but I’d say it very clearly.

PorkFlute · 27/05/2018 21:51

You aren’t responsible for looking after him op. Well I assume you would try to stop him drowning if you saw it as you would with any kid in the vicinity but his parents haven’t asked you to look after him so he is their responsibility and if they’ve sent him off in his own they must feel he’s ok to look after himself.
That said it would have boiled my piss when they sent your kids away cos the dad was sleeping!

mrsm43s · 27/05/2018 21:52

*mrsm they clearly are being cheeky as they're quite happy to bask in their child free time courtesy of OP without returning the favour.

Having the children playing outside their chalet is a fairly simple reciprocation but gets knocked on the head more or less straight away, because the cheeky parent says it'll wake up someone else's baby. It encroaches on their reading time more like!*

But is it?

They are sending over ONE child.

The OP is sending over FIVE children.

OP - perhaps send ONE of your children over to play with theirs? They will probably be fine with that.

Honestly if I was the parent of an only (I'm not) I would be most put out if someone felt it was ok to send their whole family of five over, just because my one had hung out with them for a few hours. The one same aged/close friend - no problem.

Pengggwn · 27/05/2018 21:54

It may not be directly reciprocal to send all your kids over, OP, but the principle is exactly the same: they are doing what they feel like doing, with no consideration for you. Do the same.

HyacinthsBucket70 · 27/05/2018 21:55

You are being WAY too nice OP.

Tomorrow, take him back and say you're sorry but you are on holiday too and have enough children to watch as it is. And walk away.

PorkFlute · 27/05/2018 22:01

Op has had the other child for 2 days though so her 5 at the beach for a couple of hours would be a fair trade I think.

Shadow666 · 27/05/2018 22:08

But, dont you think it depends on the age? The OP sent over her 3-year-old. If the other boy is say 10, then I can understand why the parents sent them back. A 3-year-old needs constant supervision.If the other boy is also 3, then they are CF. Older kid? Then I'd have my book out too.

AlansLeftMoob · 27/05/2018 22:09

Oh my GOD what is wrong with people.

You're a single parent. You've earned this holiday. You're not a babysitter. Yes, it's unfair on the kid, but he's not your responsibility. Bring him back tomorrow when he comes over and say "sorry I can't watch your child today, hope you have a lovely day, thanks" and go.

ToPlanZ · 27/05/2018 22:09

Oh yes we should definitely praise people who take advantage of other members of society because they are polite. Yes that's definitely the path to wisdom and enlightenment.

Original poster
HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 22:16

I just wrote a super long post and then lost it Angry

Long and short I went over, they had retreated inside TO WATCH A FILM Angry

I told her her kid needed to come home and she said “why what’s he done Grin”

I said nothing but we are having family time and frankly I’m knackered. Then said we would be out the next day so would maybe see them around soon.

Went back and 20 mins later he’s still out side on the deck. I told him he had to go home and he shouts to his mum “do I have to come back now” and she shouts back “only if Holidaycf says you do”Shock

So I told him firmly yes you do and he left and sat on his decking watching us for 30 mins. Parents still inside watching their film.

Now I feel like a right old bitch! Teens think it hilarious Hmm

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 27/05/2018 22:18

Do not feel guilty - he's not your responsibility

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 27/05/2018 22:18

if you had the nerve you could grab a wine glass, book and take all the kids over to their chalet and say "thought I would join you for a glass of wine and read, and the three of us can watch the children instead of just me"

people like this only understand blunt

Original poster
HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 22:19

He’s 7. 3 year old I was watching like a hawk and she had the 7 and 10 year old with her. Two teens stayed on the decking with me

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 27/05/2018 22:22

He'll be back in the morning...

Original poster
HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 22:22

Her husband is the most miserable old bastard. Don’t think I’ve seen him say two words to the kid.

OP posts:
Original poster
HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 22:24

My lot are under strict instructions he is not coming over tomorrow. Teens are reminding me about previous kids we’ve adopted on holiday, including a French girl who could only say “window” in English but built a fabulous sandcastle which impressed the lot of them.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 27/05/2018 22:25

I think they'll still take the piss. Make sure you do go out tomorrow. Don't tell the kids where in case they let slip to the other kid.

I get that it's nice that the CF's kid has someone to play with but you've done your bit. It's about time they started entertaining their own kid.

AnathemaPulsifer · 27/05/2018 22:27

7 is a bit young to be unsupervised at the pool. Total CFs.

LighthouseSouth · 27/05/2018 22:30

OP "I told her her kid needed to come home and she said “why what’s he done"

Next time say, "It's what he hasn't done - emerged from my loins".

LighthouseSouth · 27/05/2018 22:30

OP "I told her her kid needed to come home and she said “why what’s he done"

Next time say, "It's what he hasn't done - emerged from my loins".

LighthouseSouth · 27/05/2018 22:32

Shadow666 "But, dont you think it depends on the age? The OP sent over her 3-year-old. If the other boy is say 10, then I can understand why the parents sent them back"

But the OP never signed up for Child Swap anyway!

StaplesCorner · 27/05/2018 22:36

Look forward to update tomorrow OP, sounds like they are determined CFs. Fairly experienced I'd say.

Shadow666 · 27/05/2018 22:37

No, but my 9-year-old often plays in the park unsupervised. If a mum with a bunch of kids including a 3-year-old happened to be playing in the park at the same time and the kids played together, I'd be pretty shocked if the mum then sent all her kids over to my house including the 3-year-old as it's my turn to watch them now.

However, I agree that 7 is too young to be independent all day and the OP clarified that she didn't send her 3-year-old over, so it's a moot point.

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