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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, cheeky fuckers - a holiday edition

353 replies

HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 19:24

On holiday with all my DC (5 of them), ages 15-3. Single parent. So a busmans holiday really.

2 days ago kids came back trailing another random kid. Happens every year, always kids with no siblings. No problem in theory, 5 kids 6 kids doesn’t make much difference. Then kid would NOT go away. Knocking on the chalet door at 8am, (parents smiling and waving from their decking) 😒, we left for the beach at 10am. An hr later kid turns up with his parents. They sit 50ms away and kid comes over to play.

So now in effect I’m watching their kid plus mine as they sunbathe and read all day. Sent him back at lunch. He comes back the second we stop eating. I send all kids over to his side to play. Mum then brings them back as her husband is asleep!

Again same thing today, kid came to the pool. Didn’t see his parents all day as presumably I’m supervising him? Asked him if his parents knew where he was, he said yes. I went back to his chalet (left teens watching kids) and asked them if they knew where he was. Parents sunning themselves on their deck. Mother at least had the good sense to look embarrassed and said ‘oh he’s loved playing with your lot, send him back if it gets too much’ WTF?! I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry

Just finished dinner and he rocks up and starts playing outside with the younger ones. Got ice creams from the shop and couldn’t leave him out as he went with them. I can see the CFs sat two decks over drinking wine and reading.

AIBU to send all kids over there and lock my door for an hour 🤔. How long before they send them back do you reckon?

OP posts:
antimatter · 27/05/2018 22:42

Do not feel guilty.

Littlemissdaredevil · 27/05/2018 22:42

Get up early and go out tomorrow!

viques · 27/05/2018 22:44

Perhaps,you could start a mad flirty thing with Mr Grumpy, flutter the eyelashes, find out what job he does and be awed....... I reckon Mr Grumpy will be embarrassed and Mrs Grumpy seething, they will soon find lots of interesting places to visit during the day taking Master Grumpy with them.

GuntyMcGee · 27/05/2018 22:45

Of course the other option is to be firm with the child. Every time he comes round say loudly and pointedly, 'go back to your parents'

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

busybarbara · 27/05/2018 22:48

been kidnapped/has had enough water/has sun cream etc

Hmm, no. This is not your responsibility at all. It’s fine if a kid wants to tag along and play with some of yours but you have zero responsibilities like the above. He is being treated as independent by his parents.

Oldbutstillgotit · 27/05/2018 22:52

Many years ago an only child latched onto us at the poolside in Cyprus. It wasn’t too bad as DC ( then aged 8 and 5 ) were quite happy to include him. On 4th day child’s parents asked us to look after him as they had to pop out. This was at 10.00. They returned at 20.00 !! DH took them to task and they sniffly retorted that they needed husband and wife time !!

PurpleStarInCashmereSky · 27/05/2018 22:55

YANBU at all.

InspMorse · 27/05/2018 22:55

Tel yours (the two he has befriended) that every time he comes over they all have to go & play by his chalet.

This leaves you with the teens and 3 year old.

Xiaoxiong · 27/05/2018 22:57

YANBU. They are CFs but you don't have to adopt him in material terms. In terms of water, sunscreen and food just don't offer it to him and tell him to go home and put on sunscreen if he needs it (but don't enforce, if he gets burned it's his parents' lookout!) Ice cream you just don't buy for him and if he looks sad say "go ask your mum and dad to buy you one". Tell the lifeguard the child is unattended when swimming.

I think you're trying to treat him to things like ice cream so he feels one of the gang like the others, and you don't want him to feel bad. Assert your boundaries, ignore him a bit more and remind yourself that it's his parents that are making him feel bad by not paying any attention to him!

SneakyGremlins · 27/05/2018 22:59
Eatalot · 27/05/2018 22:59

Bloody hell he is 7 and there doesn't seem anything wrong with his behavior. I feel so sorry for him. A 7 year old is his parents dont give a fuck and your horrible nasty kids are laughing at him. What a horrible family you all seem.

ohfourfoxache · 27/05/2018 23:00

I feel really sorry for the kid Sad

Not that it’s your problem by any stretch of the imagination, the parents sound like arseholes

ny20005 · 27/05/2018 23:01

@Eatalot

Really !! Op has 5 children of her own. CF should look after their own child !!!

3333hh44 · 27/05/2018 23:03

Do your kids actually like playing with him?

I'd be lead by them if they want tho play but set ground rules and I wouldn't feel I need tio actively look out for him. That's up to his parents. Stand him to get money for an icecream if you're are having one.
"Don't come over before x o'clock in the morning." And send him home when you/the kids are fed up as you did earlier. And more of what you've done tonight. "Time to go home now,"

I wouldn't feel responsible for him and it would be very much on my terms, but if my kids were happy about it then it's nice for him to have company - but on my terms.

GiraffeObsessedBaby · 27/05/2018 23:03

My mum had the same when we were kids somehow her four including me used to turn into ten + on holiday it drove her insane as she's too afraid of confrontation and a soft cow to do anything. When I got old enough to clock it and be protective over my mum - being the eldest. I used to just send them back to their parents every time any of us had a drink - "go get a drink from your mum now" - every time we put sun cream on - "go get sun cream now" etc etc eventually parents seemed to get the hint. If not I used to just give my youngest brother a shit load of sugar and send him off like the Tasmanian devil to play at their room. That usually worked.

Looking back that was pretty naughty but I hated seeing people taking the piss out of my Mum!

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 27/05/2018 23:06

Oh bless you. And him too. I always seem to attract the random, ignored by parent extra kid too. Even before I had my own.

Make sure you do a proper head count before you set off home. I once had a little stowaway in the back of my car!

MsJolly · 27/05/2018 23:07

What CF-think you still need to be firmer though

Dancingmonkey87 · 27/05/2018 23:10

Wtf Eatalot he’s not ops responsibility coming and playing for abit fine but being left to his own devices all day is shocking especially at 7 the only arseholes here are his parents!

Eatalot · 27/05/2018 23:10

Ny20005 yes really. I never said they were not cf!!!! But this is not the bloody 7year olds fault. Laughing at him sitting bored and alone!!!! Can tou not see that is horrible bullying behaviour ffs!

NellMangel · 27/05/2018 23:12

Aw I feel sorry for him.

They are cheeky fuckers though.

Eatalot · 27/05/2018 23:12

Again dancing monkey....NOT THE KIDS FAULT. You seem so caught up in enjoying a cheeky fucker thread you are forgetting this is a child. A child who is lonely and her fucking kids are laughing at him. I dispair.

tiddliewinkiewoo · 27/05/2018 23:16

aww I feel sorry the little guy - parents who are happy to palm him off with any tom, dick or harry and clearly don't give a feck as long as he's out their hair.

Please don't take it out on the little one - absolutely have rules in place such as no knocking before 'such a time' etc.

He can't help he's got feckless parents and is having a whale of a time with your children so excited to be with them whenever he can.

I couldn't ostracise him because of the parents :(

AcrossthePond55 · 27/05/2018 23:16

If mine were playing out in a yard/deck and another child/children (of similar age) joined in and played nicely I wouldn't have a problem with it (assuming they aren't an age that needs constant 'eyes on'). BUT when it comes to pools, beaches, or anywhere near water the answer is NO and I would send the child right back with the message that a parent must come and watch their child themselves. I will not be responsible for another person's child near water. Same for meals an treats, if it's mealtime or if we go for ice cream or are having cake or what not, that extra child gets sent home.

We used to do a lot of communal camping due to DH's sport hobby and most of us went by the above guidelines. The kids tended to move in 'herds' from camp to camp playing in groups so it got spread around, but if the parents were going to the lake or it was time to eat the other children knew it was time to head 'home'.

We did have one cheeky dad who (upon becoming single) used to bring his three DC to 'spend quality time' and then leave them at the camp every day from 2 pm - 9 pm to do the sport. They'd then wander around and eventually end up at one camp or another and attach themselves. We ended up supervising, feeding, and putting them to bed every night. We climbed his frame about it for a few years but he just shrugged and kept doing it. Then one of the wives (it was about 15 families) got the brilliant idea to find and tell his ex-wife. It never happened again.

siwel123 · 27/05/2018 23:17

The teens are laughing at the situation not the kid.
Yes it's sad the kid is lonely and the parents are lazy, but they need family time and the kid has stopped that

yorkshireyummymummy · 27/05/2018 23:17

I have just the one child.
On holiday I always encourage her to buddy up with someone but I’m happy to supervise them and buy the ice creams, drinks etc simply because a) I want my dd to be happy and enjoy her holiday and b) i am a bit of a control freak and I like to look after my own child, but I’m also happy to look after ather people’s too. ( I’m currently running at a ratio of about 10:1 for sleepovers,!)

I think they are being really really rude. I would have been asking you if you minded my child playing with yours, if you wanted to send the three youngest over to me I would be happy looking after them ( I would have assumed teens didn’t want to play with my kiddy) and if you had them I would be sending mine over with lollies, sweets drinks etc AND I would have asked you if you wanted to join us for a glass of wine.
I can’t believe they are being so rude and having such little disregard for their child. Poor little bugger sounds like an inconvenience in their lives as if they don’t play with him on holiday they won’t be doing it at home.

I would tell them that it’s not possible for you to supervise their child as you have your hands full but if they want to pay your eldest DC then he/she will supervise for €5per hour...........