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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, cheeky fuckers - a holiday edition

353 replies

HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 19:24

On holiday with all my DC (5 of them), ages 15-3. Single parent. So a busmans holiday really.

2 days ago kids came back trailing another random kid. Happens every year, always kids with no siblings. No problem in theory, 5 kids 6 kids doesn’t make much difference. Then kid would NOT go away. Knocking on the chalet door at 8am, (parents smiling and waving from their decking) 😒, we left for the beach at 10am. An hr later kid turns up with his parents. They sit 50ms away and kid comes over to play.

So now in effect I’m watching their kid plus mine as they sunbathe and read all day. Sent him back at lunch. He comes back the second we stop eating. I send all kids over to his side to play. Mum then brings them back as her husband is asleep!

Again same thing today, kid came to the pool. Didn’t see his parents all day as presumably I’m supervising him? Asked him if his parents knew where he was, he said yes. I went back to his chalet (left teens watching kids) and asked them if they knew where he was. Parents sunning themselves on their deck. Mother at least had the good sense to look embarrassed and said ‘oh he’s loved playing with your lot, send him back if it gets too much’ WTF?! I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry

Just finished dinner and he rocks up and starts playing outside with the younger ones. Got ice creams from the shop and couldn’t leave him out as he went with them. I can see the CFs sat two decks over drinking wine and reading.

AIBU to send all kids over there and lock my door for an hour 🤔. How long before they send them back do you reckon?

OP posts:
Sunshineface123 · 27/05/2018 20:13

Just keep sending him back and saying it's a family day today sorry! Bet that woman thinks she's had an absolute result!!

FeralBeryl · 27/05/2018 20:14

OP slyly push him in the pool Wink then run over and say SEE? HE'S JUST NOT SAFE HERE!!

Ginger1982 · 27/05/2018 20:14

I feel a bit sorry for the kid. I was a lonely only on holidays but usually my parents and another family would 'team up.' I didn't just spend my holiday with them while my folks relaxed!

Polkadot1974 · 27/05/2018 20:15

Ooh this is so hard. Once it’s fine once then they think that’s a meal ticket to a week off for them. The swimming is the way to go I think. Say you do need some time alone with just your children as but swimming really needs them in the water as you’d hate it if anything happened and really can’t face the responsibility and it’s making you anxious (maybe looking mad enough that they’ll take him back?!)

Branleuse · 27/05/2018 20:16

can you tell the parents that you dont mind them all playing together outside if youre around, but youre not happy with him coming knocking on the door in the morning. Theyre plenty assertive with you, so I dont know why youre frightened to state your boundaries back

Id also not be feeding him icecreams all week

frasier · 27/05/2018 20:16

What do you want?

  1. The child not to come over.
  2. Your children to have equal time being watched by child’s parents.
  3. Child’s parents to come over as well and all of you watch children together.

Ask for what you want.

CruCru · 27/05/2018 20:19

Hmm. This is a bit awkward. Do you have any day trips that you are planning to do? If so, perhaps do one of them tomorrow.

Alternatively, when you do speak with the parents, tell them that you are concerned that you are not able to provide the level of childcare that they obviously need. Mention "childcare" repeatedly. They may still not get the hint / be embarrassed though.

Mylifeasacactus · 27/05/2018 20:24

Cheeky!
Why do they think it's appropriate to use you as a child care provider?!

Branleuse · 27/05/2018 20:25

i thought kids making friends with each other on campsites on family holidays was the whole point. If youve taken it to mean that you need to actually supervise him and supply food and suncream etc then I think youre overthinking it a bit. You dont have to. Just send him back if hes being a pain. If he isnt, thats no problem.
I wouldnt supervise him anymore than any other random kid in the pool.

If your kids are having lollies, just send him off home to get one. Tell him you dont have any extras

LighthouseSouth · 27/05/2018 20:26

Be blunt ffs, what are you waiting for?
Tell them, out of his hearing, that it's their job to parent their child

Sending him to you is not on

If they want to fix taking in turns to look after groups of DC then maybe offer that but they sound like such CFers I reckon they'll say no.

practicallyperfectinmyway · 27/05/2018 20:29

Tell the mum your kids have a mixture of impetigo, nits and conjunctivitis.

MollyDaydream · 27/05/2018 20:30

Kids making friends on campsites is lovely.

Constantly sending your kid over to another family, and sending him and all his 'new friends' back to the other mum if they try to play near you, is not the same!

theymademejoin · 27/05/2018 20:31

it’s another one to check isn’t drowning/been kidnapped/has had enough water/has sun cream etc

No it's not unless you've been asked and you have agreed to mind him.

QueenOfMyWorld · 27/05/2018 20:32

I bet they can't believe their luck op.Free babysitter they'll feel like they're on second honeymoon 🍷

fourandnomore · 27/05/2018 20:36

practically perfect GrinGrin

timeisnotaline · 27/05/2018 20:37

How about ‘hi! it seems we have to preplan times, when tomorrow would suit for you to have my kids for a few hours? I can’t wait to read a book! There is only one of me after all not two like you guys’
You have to be that kind of person to say that though.. other options are- excuse me. Have you ever been responsible for 5 children on your own. It’s hard to keep an eye on them all around water. I can’t do 6. You need to be actively watching your child at all times- I need you to understand that I take zero responsibility for him not drowning.

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 27/05/2018 20:38

I'd go over, after maybe a wine, and say bluntly

"More than happy to have your DC play with ours but not before 10 am/my kids are playing out. If going to pool/beach can't supervise and will send him back to you. I am a single parent with my hands more than full already and I am not running a creche."

Godowneasy · 27/05/2018 20:41

Sorry if I missed it, but how old is this child?

zzzzz · 27/05/2018 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissVanjie · 27/05/2018 20:42

“I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry ”

This is when you have to be more assertive and say ‘sorry but i’m just not comfortable with that, i’m on holiday too’ or somesuch

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 27/05/2018 20:43

it’s another one to check isn’t drowning/been kidnapped/has had enough water/has sun cream etc
For a start I would send him back every half hour for sun cream, a drink of water, ice cream money etc. And plan some day trips to another bit of beach (do not divulge where)

Thehop · 27/05/2018 20:44

It’s difficult. I’d be really pissed off/jealous but also too afraid to be rude! Grrrr

Would a “go and ask mummy to come too so that she can watch you” be doable?

zzzzz · 27/05/2018 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brizzledrizzle · 27/05/2018 20:47

I'd let him play with yours but send them a written note saying that he is welcome to play with your children when you are on the site but that you absolutely cannot be responsible for his care.

If that fails, tell them it is because it's your last holiday with your children before they are taken into care and you want to be alone with them.

Atalune · 27/05/2018 20:47

It’s the principle and total lack of reciprocity that would infuriate me.

I would take him back everyt time and say. It’s eitger turn about or not at all. It’s my holiday too.

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