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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, cheeky fuckers - a holiday edition

353 replies

HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 19:24

On holiday with all my DC (5 of them), ages 15-3. Single parent. So a busmans holiday really.

2 days ago kids came back trailing another random kid. Happens every year, always kids with no siblings. No problem in theory, 5 kids 6 kids doesn’t make much difference. Then kid would NOT go away. Knocking on the chalet door at 8am, (parents smiling and waving from their decking) 😒, we left for the beach at 10am. An hr later kid turns up with his parents. They sit 50ms away and kid comes over to play.

So now in effect I’m watching their kid plus mine as they sunbathe and read all day. Sent him back at lunch. He comes back the second we stop eating. I send all kids over to his side to play. Mum then brings them back as her husband is asleep!

Again same thing today, kid came to the pool. Didn’t see his parents all day as presumably I’m supervising him? Asked him if his parents knew where he was, he said yes. I went back to his chalet (left teens watching kids) and asked them if they knew where he was. Parents sunning themselves on their deck. Mother at least had the good sense to look embarrassed and said ‘oh he’s loved playing with your lot, send him back if it gets too much’ WTF?! I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry

Just finished dinner and he rocks up and starts playing outside with the younger ones. Got ice creams from the shop and couldn’t leave him out as he went with them. I can see the CFs sat two decks over drinking wine and reading.

AIBU to send all kids over there and lock my door for an hour 🤔. How long before they send them back do you reckon?

OP posts:
StrangeLookingParasite · 27/05/2018 20:50

Huh. Mines's an only, and I have quite the reverse situation; we nearly always have the other children over here.
I wouldn't feel right doing what these cheeky buggers are doing.

jay55 · 27/05/2018 20:51

Ask why the two of them can't manage one child and yet expect you to cope with 6 alone.

Shadow666 · 27/05/2018 20:54

I also wondered how old he is. Some parents are just fairy relaxed about parental supervision, so would be happy to send a 9-year-old to play in the pool on their own. I really don't think they expect you to watch their kid. Just ignore him, if he needs drinks or food he'll sort himself out.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 27/05/2018 20:54

Next holiday, make your own fake religious tracts for some random cult, and give one to the child to give to his parents! Doesn't help you this time, though.

RainbowGlitterFairy · 27/05/2018 20:59

I'm one of 8, this happened a lot. I'm one of the older ones and remember one holiday my mum paid me a fiver to scratch my head constantly and make loud comments about headlice to get one family to piss off.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 27/05/2018 21:00

Beryl 😂😂😂😂😂

BlackWatchBelle · 27/05/2018 21:02

What jay55 said, with bells on.

FreeMantle · 27/05/2018 21:03

I don't suppose it's occurred to them they are being CF as you are clearly not going to get any rest.
As a single parent of one I am delighted if he makes any friends as they live with a different dynamic.
However I would have invited you over to drink wine or dinner or something.You are definitely the one doing a favour and there's no way I wouldn't have acknowledged that.

I reckon you need to spell it out to them. It's your holiday not a service you offer.

AnathemaPulsifer · 27/05/2018 21:03

How old is this kid? I'd be taking him back and saying 'just to be very clear, I already have plenty of children to supervise. If your son is playing with mine I am not supervising him, you need to do that if it's required.'

And if you go to buy ice creams send him back to his Mum to ask for money if he wants one! This isn't a play date!

jazzandh · 27/05/2018 21:04

I would just say that you are not being responsible for him and cannot be held to account...or that your eldest is on holiday with you to keep an eye on the younger ones and their rates for the day are.......

Is the child bothering you other than the potential responsibility?

MargotLovedTom1 · 27/05/2018 21:07

You could go passive aggressive - return the kid to his parents, look pointedly at the wine and novels and say wryly: "Must be nice to be able to relax! Here's little Johnny back; he wants to spend some time with his mum and dad."

Walk off, ignoring his cries of "No I don't!" Grin.

Pengggwn · 27/05/2018 21:09

Go and tell them, OP: look, I am not prepared to be responsible for him. Please supervise your own child because I'm not.

They are absolute cheeky bastards.

sayhellotothelittlefella · 27/05/2018 21:09

I have a lot of DC. This happens all the time. Always an only, always with parents sat relaxing while we actually entertain/supervise our offspring. I wish I was the type of person to go and say I’m on holiday too, I’m not running the Holiday Club. Thing is they are always such self centred CF’s they would make out like you were the unreasonable one and what’s more truly believe it.

abbsisspartacus · 27/05/2018 21:10

When I had one I had the opposite problem she brought half the neighbourhood home literally Hmm my boys are more possessive and don't share me

mrsm43s · 27/05/2018 21:20

For me, one of the best things about holidays is all the kids running round together playing.

Is it CFery? Depends on a few things.

His age - 7 and under, therefore needing constant supervision - CF
8-10 - potential CF, depending on how self reliant the child is
10+ -child doesn't need close supervision if their parents deem that OK, so not CF

Are they overseeing him, even from a distance? Not CF
Are they feeding him/calling him back for dinner? Not CF
Or expecting you to feed him? CF
Are your children playing at his an appropriate portion (1/5?) of the time? Not CF
Are your children noisier (probably given how many their are!) or worse behaved? Then not CF to expect them not round at a time when someone is sleeping.

Honestly, if you don't want him there,send him home. But the reciprocal arrangement of that ONE child joining your family for a day would be ONE of your children playing at theirs for a day - you can't expect to sent all 5 there - that would def be CFery!

RomaineCalm · 27/05/2018 21:20

I'm a wuss but my approach would be to go over when the kids are playing outside and the parent(s) are around reading on their decking.

"I'm sorry, this is a bit uncomfortable as I know Boris is enjoying playing with my kids but I am already on my own with five of them, it's hard work and I'm very uncomfortable about being responsible for him as well.

He's welcome to come over after 4pm tomorrow for a game of football/chess when we are back at the chalet but please don't let him come over in the morning as we are going to the pool/beach/cutting our toenails.

Maybe you fancy bringing a bottle of wine over tomorrow when he comes over and we can have a drink and look out for them all together."

SeriousSass · 27/05/2018 21:24

Can you go and sit with the couple and then get all the kids to join you sitting around their deck.

Otherwise I think you need to be honest with the parents and the child (depending on how old he is).

My four kids used to attract other kids a lot but they often preferred playing on their own. They were nice kids so wouldn’t be rude to the other kids but would come and ask me to get rid of them 😂. I’d be fairly blunt with the other kids. Not mean but quite straightforward.

WhiteFreesias · 27/05/2018 21:26

I wouldn't let my DC bother anyone like this. Lazy fuckers.

Send him home.

Send your the over, if they send them back take their child back to them. I would be blunt. 'its all a bit much, please don't send your lo back over.' Sashay away.

RedSkyAtNight · 27/05/2018 21:33

We had a similar on a holiday once. The child was 3 ...

After the time they sent her down to the pool and then went off for the day, strong words were had. We hadn't planned to be at the pool all day, but clearly we couldn't leave a 3 year old on her own, and she'd been given strict instruction to stay at the pool so ...

Donotbequotingmeinbold · 27/05/2018 21:34

We holiday in chalets sometimes and other kids are always banging on the door or trying to play inside our chalet. When I have had enough I say 'well, we are going to have our lunch now / go out / watch TV / tidy up etc. Bye' and walk them to the door. It took a while for me to realise it was that simple. Before I started doing this I felt like a crèche. When they knock on the door I say 'my DC will maybe be out later but we're busy now. Bye'. Don't be returning children to their parents. You haven't agreed to look after any. When he comes round say 'we are doing such and such now. Bye' and if they are all playing outside only your own DC are your responsibility.

MargotLovedTom1 · 27/05/2018 21:39

mrsm they clearly are being cheeky as they're quite happy to bask in their child free time courtesy of OP without returning the favour.

Having the children playing outside their chalet is a fairly simple reciprocation but gets knocked on the head more or less straight away, because the cheeky parent says it'll wake up someone else's baby. It encroaches on their reading time more like!

planetclom · 27/05/2018 21:41

If he comes over tell him he is welcome but one of his parents will have to come and watch him as you have to watch all yours and can't be responsible for him as well. Especially if swimming

Shadow666 · 27/05/2018 21:43

See, I think sending a 3-year-old to the pool on their own is really awful, but if someone got mad at me for not constantly supervising my 9-year-old on holiday, I'd think they were bonkers, unless he was being naughty.

We are also a large family, so often have friends playing over. I just let them get on with it.

MargotLovedTom1 · 27/05/2018 21:43

Even more cheeky to take them back to OP on the beach because the husband was 'sleeping'. Tough shit! Unless the rest of the beach was full of nuns having taken a vow of silence then there will be children making noises. Put up with it like everyone else!

Katedotness1963 · 27/05/2018 21:43

They're going to go home at the end of their holiday talking about what a wonderful, relaxing time they've had. You're going to be shattered because you've been their unpaid childminder.

Tell them you're on holiday to have some family time and you don't want to be responsible for anyone else's children. If they're halfway decent they'll understand and hopefully, be a bit embarrassed.