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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, cheeky fuckers - a holiday edition

353 replies

HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 19:24

On holiday with all my DC (5 of them), ages 15-3. Single parent. So a busmans holiday really.

2 days ago kids came back trailing another random kid. Happens every year, always kids with no siblings. No problem in theory, 5 kids 6 kids doesn’t make much difference. Then kid would NOT go away. Knocking on the chalet door at 8am, (parents smiling and waving from their decking) 😒, we left for the beach at 10am. An hr later kid turns up with his parents. They sit 50ms away and kid comes over to play.

So now in effect I’m watching their kid plus mine as they sunbathe and read all day. Sent him back at lunch. He comes back the second we stop eating. I send all kids over to his side to play. Mum then brings them back as her husband is asleep!

Again same thing today, kid came to the pool. Didn’t see his parents all day as presumably I’m supervising him? Asked him if his parents knew where he was, he said yes. I went back to his chalet (left teens watching kids) and asked them if they knew where he was. Parents sunning themselves on their deck. Mother at least had the good sense to look embarrassed and said ‘oh he’s loved playing with your lot, send him back if it gets too much’ WTF?! I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry

Just finished dinner and he rocks up and starts playing outside with the younger ones. Got ice creams from the shop and couldn’t leave him out as he went with them. I can see the CFs sat two decks over drinking wine and reading.

AIBU to send all kids over there and lock my door for an hour 🤔. How long before they send them back do you reckon?

OP posts:
MargotLovedTom1 · 29/05/2018 08:12

If he craves similar aged company then it's up to the parents to arrange to take a friend away with him, or holiday with other families.

Or if an only child befriends other kids on holiday then the parents should do their fair share of looking out for them - not take the attitude of: "Get in!", crack open the booze and put their feet up, assuming all the while that other parents won't mind as they're used to having more than one child anyway.

jessebuni · 29/05/2018 08:14

I too feel very sorry for the poor little boy but OP isn’t in the wrong and it’s not her responsibility. I would definitely stick to the plan of during the day if they’re playing around near yours together that’s fine but a firm NO to him being with you at the pool/beach etc and as you did yesterday set a deadline for him going home. Keep all plans secret until after the fact so that they can’t tag along and leave you supervising again. Honestly this is so cheeky! I understand that kids often kindle during holidays and go a bit feral, disappearing into the trees most of the day in packs and returning to their own tents for food but...there’s no reciprocation going on here at all. Even if taking all five of yours isn’t equal to their one they could still make the offer to take the younger three or even just the two closest to their DSs age. They haven’t offered and they haven’t even made an attempt at sitting with you so you can all supervise together or make friends etc. We just got back from a camping trip where the kids gained new friends and we did have a couple of kids that hung around near our tents several times but we sent them back at meal times and that was fine and also it wasn’t constant it was just for a couple of hours each day not all day and no water was involved so we weren’t responsible for extras around water.

Picoloangel · 29/05/2018 08:17

Yes this is CF of the highest order but I am really uncomfortable with all of the horrible remarks about only children. I have one DD and she isn’t an only child either through her choice or ours. Many families with only children have been unable to have more.

On holiday we wouldn’t dream of behaving in this way both because it is our time as a family and also because I wouldn’t trust some random stranger with my child.

Despite the snarky only child remarks we frequently find ourselves left with other kids presumably because we are very obviously engaged and playing with our DD. We were once saddled with 5 other kids whose parents (and Grandparents) couldn’t be arsed to interact with them at all.

OP you are clearly a v kind woman and are being taken advantage of. This little boy is not your responsibility, his parents are appalling.

emmyrose2000 · 29/05/2018 08:19

I too feel sorry for the little boy that he got dealt a crap hand in the parenting department, but that's not the OP's fault. It's perfectly reasonable to set boundaries, times he has to go home etc.

The boy's parents are lazy CFs.

Branleuse · 29/05/2018 08:24

i hope how muchyou dislike this kid playing with yours doesnt becme a focus of your holiday. Your kids like him, he likes yours, its only a week.

MachineBee · 29/05/2018 08:32

I’m with you OP. YANBU. A PP. suggested a word with his parents out of earshot of their DS pointing out it’s your family holiday and an extra one around all the time is hard work.

zzzzz · 29/05/2018 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouTheCat · 29/05/2018 08:54

OP hasn't said she dislikes the child at all. I don't see how letting a child hang out with yours all evening and then sending them back at 8pm is unreasonable and rejecting the child.

GlitteryFluff · 29/05/2018 08:58

It is sad that he's lonely but it really isn't ops problem. I think she's been more than generous with including him in the family. And yes it's only a week but exactly, it's their only week on holiday as a family, it changes the whole thing when another kid joins for the entire time. Yanbu op.

runsmidgeOMG · 29/05/2018 09:26

OP you have done more than your fair share. Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday !

squooz · 29/05/2018 12:51

I have disabled ds and his neurotypical twin sister - she is like the only child in your post OP always looking for other kids to play with but I spend more time checking shevisbok not being pita than I do palming her off and I always offer to take turns so yadnbu. Smile

Mirrorwriting · 29/05/2018 12:54

For all the parents know you could be paedophiles. They haven’t spent time with you to know you’re not doing drugs or whatever. They are irresponsible CFs.

boilerhouse2007 · 29/05/2018 13:20

''For all the parents know you could be paedophiles.''

yes please remind me how many female predators there are, also she is with 5 kids so a kid cannot be a paedo. A paedo is more than likely to be an adult male.

LagunaBubbles · 29/05/2018 13:40

think yabvu, sending a child away like that in front of your kids id bad form-teaches them very bad values too

Absolute rubbish. If anything it teaches children to be assertive. And judging by the amount of threads here by people who repeatedly get taken advantage off and get taken for mugs who let other people walk all over them this is a lesson that is needed.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 29/05/2018 13:52

What's your point boilerhouse?

Just because it's statistically more likely that women aren't 'paedos', doesn't mean they don't exist.

At the very least, the OP could be cruel, negligent, unkind...and yet this child's parents give no fucks. Anywhere away from them is a-ok.

Pettynotvindictive · 29/05/2018 15:37

@boilerhouse2007

Ridiculous thing to say.

Paedofiles can be female too.

Perhaps you believe that Myra Hindley, Rose West and all of those Ian Watkins fans who willingly abused were just delicate flowers controlled by men.

Pettynotvindictive · 29/05/2018 15:40

However, this poor child is obviously being seriously neglected by his parents.
This is not the responsibility of the OP but I do think you should ask them why they obviously don't like their son.

MissVanjie · 29/05/2018 15:41

Oh ignore boilerhouse and their weird posts

If this person is really a teacher i will show my arse in morrisons

Callaird · 29/05/2018 22:37

@HolidayCF - you are totally NBU!

You are not free childcare so they can enjoy a relaxing holiday. Having children means holidays have changed. Just a heads up for the future, on the very first occasion go to the other parents, tell them you are very happy to look after their child/ren, however as a nanny, I charge £12:50 an hour! Trust me, you won’t see them for dust!

I am a nanny, I love children and if I’m in a room full of people I barely know, I will take a little one (or two) for cuddles and giggles but if someone expects me to look after a child and I tell them my hourly rate!

DragonMummy1418 · 29/05/2018 23:01

@HolidayCF I'm quite intrigued to know how your day was!

WickedGirl · 29/05/2018 23:05

I’m a single mum and I work in childcare

I would not be happy if I saved up for a relaxing holiday away from other people’s children and still got them (for free)

My holidays with my children are special as they don’t happen often enough

Bogglechops · 30/05/2018 00:28

@boilerhouse2007

My mother was a paedophile. There you go, there's at least one. Hmm

Bogglechops · 30/05/2018 00:30

@boilerhouse2007

Pretty sure there are cases of children sexually abusing other children too.

R2G · 30/05/2018 00:45

First of all the not reciprocating but also the way they are treating you like a helper rather than actually engaging with you and coming to sit with you. For example when the mum brought her kid back coz her husband was sleeping - she could have stayed and sat chatting to you.

Kate0902900908 · 30/05/2018 02:33

They are taking the piss!
I don’t have any but if I did and only had one you do your share! I would recognise straight away your away with just the kids ... fancy a drink? We will take the kids to ours give you a bit of peace - it’s the least they could do! I think as well when you only have one you should appreciate the happiness other kids bring and make an effort to encourage playing together especially on holiday. Some people have one and then it’s off you go find friends, it’s not right
You have 5 not 6 and 1 kid or 5 kids you do your share! I would send them over