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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, cheeky fuckers - a holiday edition

353 replies

HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 19:24

On holiday with all my DC (5 of them), ages 15-3. Single parent. So a busmans holiday really.

2 days ago kids came back trailing another random kid. Happens every year, always kids with no siblings. No problem in theory, 5 kids 6 kids doesn’t make much difference. Then kid would NOT go away. Knocking on the chalet door at 8am, (parents smiling and waving from their decking) 😒, we left for the beach at 10am. An hr later kid turns up with his parents. They sit 50ms away and kid comes over to play.

So now in effect I’m watching their kid plus mine as they sunbathe and read all day. Sent him back at lunch. He comes back the second we stop eating. I send all kids over to his side to play. Mum then brings them back as her husband is asleep!

Again same thing today, kid came to the pool. Didn’t see his parents all day as presumably I’m supervising him? Asked him if his parents knew where he was, he said yes. I went back to his chalet (left teens watching kids) and asked them if they knew where he was. Parents sunning themselves on their deck. Mother at least had the good sense to look embarrassed and said ‘oh he’s loved playing with your lot, send him back if it gets too much’ WTF?! I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry

Just finished dinner and he rocks up and starts playing outside with the younger ones. Got ice creams from the shop and couldn’t leave him out as he went with them. I can see the CFs sat two decks over drinking wine and reading.

AIBU to send all kids over there and lock my door for an hour 🤔. How long before they send them back do you reckon?

OP posts:
nymum · 28/05/2018 23:27

Spot on AmericanEskimoDoge! Another child is less relaxing when you have several of your own already. It changes the dynamic completely. Even if the child is lovely, there’s a responsibility that just feels too much when you are supposed to be on holiday. Maybe OP would like to read a book and drink wine and let her own children get on with it for a bit. Not easy to do if you accidentally have responsibility for an extra child.

Maelstrop · 28/05/2018 23:35

op i think yabvu, sending a child away like that in front of your kids id bad form-teaches them very bad values too.

Rubbish, the lazy fuck parents of the child are totally to blame. Why on earth should the OP carry on entertaining him? At what point would his parents come looking for him?

AllMYSmellySocks · 28/05/2018 23:40

I agree that one extra child is often much more tiring because it's a child you don't know so you don't know how much supervision they need - how well can they swim? Are they sensible enough not to wander off if you pop inside?

mikulkin · 28/05/2018 23:51

I am sorry orry OP but why didnt you allow him to play cards with you? Your DD wanted him to do so, why couldn’t he join?
Just feel sorry for this boy. As a single child he doesn’t have opportunity to play cards with 6 people...

QuinquiremeOfNineveh · 28/05/2018 23:56

....but this is a holiday...

Yes, it's op's holiday. And at the moment she's the only one out of all involved not getting any choice in how she spends it.

insomuchpain · 29/05/2018 00:05

I'll just put this here for tomorrow's read :D

elephantoverthehill · 29/05/2018 00:19

OP on the positive side, your teenagers might be slightly taking the piss, but they sound really great and maybe this experience will get them to support you more and realise how tough it can really be.

itsBritneyBeach · 29/05/2018 00:31

I feel very sorry for the boy as it's clear his parents couldn't care less if he enjoys his holiday or not. I think you have been very kind by allowing him to play and treating him to an ice cream, he will remember that in years to come and feel happy a stranger saved him from boredom.

BUT the parents can fuck off, ultimately. How rude to not even offer to meet up for lunch or drinks in the evening etc, quite odd they'd be happy to just let him wonder around with you without keeping an eye on him. Obviously he is perfectly safe with you but they don't know that, he could be playing with anybody. Very weird and very rude. I hope you find a manageable way round this @HolidayCF and enjoy the rest of your lovely holiday Wine

Motoko · 29/05/2018 00:39

I am sorry orry OP but why didnt you allow him to play cards with you? Your DD wanted him to do so, why couldn’t he join?

Because it was 8pm and time for him to go back to his parents.

ChasedByBees · 29/05/2018 01:17

These parents areally are CF. Their poor DS. Absolutely not your responsibility though and glad to hear you’ll be firmer from now on, especially in the pool.

Abbylee · 29/05/2018 04:55

@YouTheCat thank you! I have had a very miserable weekend and that was my first good laugh!Smile

OP, you are kind, I am sorry this is not turning out as you hoped. I understand the disappointment. I like YouTheCat's advice.

TheMaddHugger · 29/05/2018 05:03

@Abbylee ((((Hugs)))

Mummingainteasy · 29/05/2018 06:04

Hope you manage your family day today OP! Xx

GreenTulips · 29/05/2018 06:57

As a single child he doesn’t have opportunity to play cards with 6 people

Well tough ..... These parents have one child who they could play cards with or join another family and play cards together .... or they could take him out to the beach funfair museum picnic or any other type of familly entertainment on holiday.

OP didn't have a large family to round up poor single kids ..... Or pay for a holiday fort he pleasure.

hollyholightly · 29/05/2018 07:07

Can't believe people think op is unreasonable to send him away at 8pm!!

So what if her dd wanted him to stay? In your household isn't it the parents in charge because it is in mine!

Playing cards with your own children is relaxing. Teaching a stranger how to play is not.

Op his parents are awful you need to tell them he's on holiday with them and not you.

rumbelina · 29/05/2018 07:09

i agree I wouldn’t supervise him in the pool either, OP. I’d be asking for one of the parents to be there if he’s to be there.

LEMtheoriginal · 29/05/2018 07:10

I am the parent of an only (sort of) and I feel sorry for my dd when we are camping (as we are now) as there are always groups of kids playing happily (and noisily). She is 12 and for some reason the joining in had become more difficult.

It's not me advocating my parental duties - we play cards chess etc and go out for the day but it's really lovely when dd gets the opportunity to hang around with other kids.

From that perspective I find this thread quite sad however I can totally see the ops point and would be uncomfortable too.

LEMtheoriginal · 29/05/2018 07:11

*abdicating

Shadow666 · 29/05/2018 07:16

I don’t it’s the boy that’s the problem so much as the parents attitude.

averylongtimeasspartacus · 29/05/2018 07:28

Kids making friends on holiday is great. Mine did when they were younger and now the DGC do too.

On campsites there are packs of kids playing out, in and out of each other's pitches, making new friends.

But you have to reciprocate: you have their kids in your awning, they have yours. Normally you have a chat with the other parents- check it's ok, fetch your dc back for meals and it all works out.
You do have to be upfront and say if you are going out or about to eat, and send the visiting kids away.

Petalflowers · 29/05/2018 07:31

I think one of the joys of camping or caravan holidays is all the kids making friends and playing together on the campsite or holiday park.

However, I think in this case, there is no boundaries. The kid has adopted this family, and the parents aren’t taking responsibility for their own child.

rookiemere · 29/05/2018 07:40

I’m in exactly the sam situation with DS lem. This half term we went away with friends who have DCs and it was so lovely for all of us.

The parents do seem neglectful but I hate some of the veiled sneering in the posts - like how hard can it be to look after one DC- well actually if he craves like aged company then it can be tricky.

NotClear · 29/05/2018 07:45

OP, for the sake of the 7 year old, I wouldn't keep rejecting him.

I'd have a straight talk with his parents (out of earshot of 7 year old) to say: "to be honest, I'm worn out looking after my own 5 kids and there is something about that extra number 6 that is too much for me. I don't think it would be good for him to be turned away by me all the time, so could you keep him away for a couple of days so I can get some sort of rest and family time in our holiday".

GreenTulips · 29/05/2018 07:54

well actually if he craves like aged company then it can be tricky

Then you speak to the parents and reciprocate the childcare - join your child in the pool to supervise if necessary - offer to do a meal or BBQ as a thank you - ask the parent to join you for a bottle of wine while you all watch them play. Invite their kids over for a water fight.

Not difficult

rainbowstardrops · 29/05/2018 07:58

I feel sorry for the little lad having seemingly useless parents but bloody hell the cheeky feckers!!!!
I bet they can't believe their luck

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