AIBU, cheeky fuckers - a holiday edition

[HolidayCF]

On holiday with all my DC (5 of them), ages 15-3. Single parent. So a busmans holiday really.

2 days ago kids came back trailing another random kid. Happens every year, always kids with no siblings. No problem in theory, 5 kids 6 kids doesn’t make much difference. Then kid would NOT go away. Knocking on the chalet door at 8am, (parents smiling and waving from their decking) 😒, we left for the beach at 10am. An hr later kid turns up with his parents. They sit 50ms away and kid comes over to play.

So now in effect I’m watching their kid plus mine as they sunbathe and read all day. Sent him back at lunch. He comes back the second we stop eating. I send all kids over to his side to play. Mum then brings them back as her husband is asleep!

Again same thing today, kid came to the pool. Didn’t see his parents all day as presumably I’m supervising him? Asked him if his parents knew where he was, he said yes. I went back to his chalet (left teens watching kids) and asked them if they knew where he was. Parents sunning themselves on their deck. Mother at least had the good sense to look embarrassed and said ‘oh he’s loved playing with your lot, send him back if it gets too much’ WTF?! I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry

Just finished dinner and he rocks up and starts playing outside with the younger ones. Got ice creams from the shop and couldn’t leave him out as he went with them. I can see the CFs sat two decks over drinking wine and reading.

AIBU to send all kids over there and lock my door for an hour 🤔. How long before they send them back do you reckon?

They’ve obviously told him go play at holidaycf’s, without a second thought.

Yes, I feel sorry for him. But come on, his parent haven’t actually encouraged him to play with other kids......

You are close by so they feeeeeel they are parenting without actually doing jack shit.

Be firm OP, as everytime you have sent your children they have come up with some stupid excuse as to why they need alone time.

I tell you these Cf have form. Don’t fall for the ice cream trick

First thing bright and early in the morning send your DCs over to play , tough luck if the baby is sleeping ( sorry but it is ) tell them not to come back until late afternoon and to leave the stray kid with his CF DPs

I recall camping with my two boys and in the next field, quite by chance, was a mum from school whose older son was in same Year group (but only vague friends) as my oldest ds. They were camping with another family. Those two kids, plus the child from their friends’ family, spent virtually the whole time near our tents, joining in games, cake, water guns we had etc. I didn’t mind particularly, but when I went over to say hello (I felt it would be rude not to), the mum just looked down her nose at me (disturbed sunbathing/snoozing, given she’d not had to entertain her own kids) - no thanks, nothing. It was two years ago and I STILL grind my teeth about it occasionally!

Oh dear op this takes me back. My kids are in their 20s now but this used to happen every single holiday we went on.
DH and I would be playing with our kids and we would get a random selection of kids tagging along every single time, whilst their parents sat around sunbathing drinking etc.
I can only put it down to the fact that we and probably you made our holidays fun for our children. (Not much consolation I know)

I have 3DC and my middle ones collects other children.

My favourites are the dad of a family she had been talking to in the next chalet, he gave her a ball and she told him she loved him Poor chap said "errr... that's nice"

And the child who wanted a balloon, when DD had a balloon but her mum wouldn't buy once. DD drags we over to where parents are, I assumed to say hi or whatever as little kids hellhole disco but no she states "Don't be upset look my Mummy is here, she'll buy you anything"

I'd let him play if my dc wanted him too, if they didn't straight home.

Are your younger children old enough to be supervised by the older ones? I wonder if you could do it in reverse.... you could bring your deck chair over to their deck and join them with a book and then ask for a glass of wine or a cup of tea if it's too early. Pretend to read your book then repeatedly ask them questions.. just for the amusement of those following your story, of course!!

Ah this is sooo annoying when it is happening, but maybe from the little childs perspective, if your kids enjoy having him around, try bite your tongue. If he is bothering you or the kids though, maybe just say it to the mam that your finding it hard to control them all, especially with their lad being around. What age is this child? Can he not take the hint or is he too young to understand?

While I feel for the child, you are not his babysitting service. His parents well and truly suck, actively dumping their responsibility on other families.

I would be livid. I would tell her to do one in no uncertain terms.

Tomorrow morning go around and tell them you've booked yourself a massage/wine tasting/kitesurfing lesson, can they watch your younger three for a few hours? If that just happens to be an inconvenient time for them, whip out your mobile and cheerfully offer to reschedule. Fix them with a beady stare and do not look away or brook any excuses until they have capitulated.

These people really are something!!

This would irritate me too op. Family time is not the same when you've got someone else's kid hanging around uninvited. The parents behaviour is totally wrong. They should be entertaining him on holiday, not palming him off on you. I feel sorry for the little boy, his parents are lazy arseholes.

Go over there early and say brightly " Right well you've had a lovely holiday while I looked after your child so now I'm going to have a lovely day while you take my youngest three out for the day. Here they are. I'll be expecting to hear about lots of fun... " and go.

I do feel sorry for the poor boy, his parents are being rubbish. And I’m not trying to imply you should be his childminder, OP. Maybe they’ll step up if you are your kids aren’t around for him to play with?

doesn't sound like they will. Doesn't sound like anybody really wants that kid around

What CF's!!!

The problem I have with random children is that they change the dynamics. My 2 DDs play well together most of the time although there’s 3 years between them. However random child will attach to the DD nearest in age & the other DD ends up excluded.

8pm on the dot I called him over and said right time to go we’re going to play cards now. Cue DD moaning she didn’t want him to go and telling him we could teach him to play gin rummy (thanks DD). I told her no and sent him off, we went in and I closed the curtains and locked the door.

I do feel sorry for the kid, 100%, his parents are useless (bar any circs I don’t know about, teens winding me up and making me feel guilty here).

So, I’m very firmly not taking any responsibility near the water/pool/beach. If he wants to come play on our side of the trees when the kids are out there then I’m not going to say no.

I understand why people might think what does one extra matter but it actually does. Take dodgeball for example. There’s an argument over if a ball someone else threw hit him or didn’t. My own kids I’d know if they were lying or not, chuck another kid in the mix and now I’m refereeing a whole other kid (prob a crap example but it happened earlier)

op i think yabvu, sending a child away like that in front of your kids id bad form-teaches them very bad values too. I am sorry and I am always on the side of the op on these boards and i see your point in not taking him to the beach for safety but this is a holiday-not like you are next door neighbours. I'd have let him stay.

''My own kids I’d know if they were lying or not''

As a teacher do you know the amount of times i have heard a parent say this to me?? And guess what the kid is still lying...

My best mate was an angelic child to his mum growing up yet still lied every day to her from a very young age and was very different not in her presence...

It's 8pm and no sign of the parents of a 7 year old who probably haven't paid him any attention all day - ffs his parents need to step up and it's not OPs responsibility - wonder if they've even fed him?

'sending a child away like that in front of your kids id bad form-teaches them very bad values too.'

I disagree, it teaches assertiveness and boundaries and the value of family time.

I wonder how many people against the OP are single parents to 5 kids?

Also, interesting how a single mum is getting blamed for a couple neglecting their child!

OP doesn't need to make any "excuses" for her wish to not babysit this other kid all the time. It's not her responsibility, she hasn't been asked/agreed to do so, and it's not like she's been an ogre about it. She's let him stay over and play quite a bit, but it's not much of a vacation to have another kid to watch.

Of course a stranger's child is different from your own! (How ridiculous to suggest otherwise!) It definitely changes the dynamics, and it's more work/stress-- and yes, on top of it all, it's not pleasant to feel you're being taken advantage of by the other child's parents.

It seems OP has gone above and beyond, as far as this other child is concerned. She's been more than generous and shouldn't be guilt-tripped for wanting a little family-only time during her hard-earned vacation.

Yes, it's sad that the boy's parents are apparently so uninterested in their own child, but it's not up to OP to entertain and accommodate him the entire time. Maybe he'll find some other kids to visit; surely there are more than two families in the place.

Give your lit a picnic and send them over hopefully for the day. Spend your time sipping wine and waving or just pretend you are asleep having consumed too much vino