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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, cheeky fuckers - a holiday edition

353 replies

HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 19:24

On holiday with all my DC (5 of them), ages 15-3. Single parent. So a busmans holiday really.

2 days ago kids came back trailing another random kid. Happens every year, always kids with no siblings. No problem in theory, 5 kids 6 kids doesn’t make much difference. Then kid would NOT go away. Knocking on the chalet door at 8am, (parents smiling and waving from their decking) 😒, we left for the beach at 10am. An hr later kid turns up with his parents. They sit 50ms away and kid comes over to play.

So now in effect I’m watching their kid plus mine as they sunbathe and read all day. Sent him back at lunch. He comes back the second we stop eating. I send all kids over to his side to play. Mum then brings them back as her husband is asleep!

Again same thing today, kid came to the pool. Didn’t see his parents all day as presumably I’m supervising him? Asked him if his parents knew where he was, he said yes. I went back to his chalet (left teens watching kids) and asked them if they knew where he was. Parents sunning themselves on their deck. Mother at least had the good sense to look embarrassed and said ‘oh he’s loved playing with your lot, send him back if it gets too much’ WTF?! I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry

Just finished dinner and he rocks up and starts playing outside with the younger ones. Got ice creams from the shop and couldn’t leave him out as he went with them. I can see the CFs sat two decks over drinking wine and reading.

AIBU to send all kids over there and lock my door for an hour 🤔. How long before they send them back do you reckon?

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 28/05/2018 18:33

Well done to your dd for taking him back to his parents. Seems they're even fine with dumping him on your teens as well.

Mintychoc1 · 28/05/2018 18:35

People like this drive me mad. My brother is the non-resident parent of one child, who always attaches himself to other families because my brother likes to sit around a lot and chill out. He has the audacity to boast about how independent and resourceful his son is, managing to find friends and look after himself for hours on end in camp sites. What he refuses to acknowledge is that he’s not looking after himself. He’s been fed, suncreamed, watered, cuts tended etc by an army of unpaid parents who my brother can’t see (usually because he’s dozing in a deckchair)!!

Carycach100 · 28/05/2018 18:36

They are not expecting you to watch their kid, you have assumed that role yourself.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 28/05/2018 18:37

How could parents treat their child this way? They know he's making a nuisance of himself, they don't care about embarrassing him. Taking the piss out of other people is bad enough, but doing it to your own child is completely horrid.

I can just imagine how innocently he's going along with this, with no idea that all his parents want are shot of him. Or maybe he does know. Not sure what's worse.

FuckCalmRhageOn · 28/05/2018 18:38

Don't know how you have remained so calm. I would of blown my lid at the cf by now

Feel for the child but he's not your responsibility. I'd let them know your teens charge to babysit with an extra fee for doing it on holiday

Mintychoc1 · 28/05/2018 18:38

carycach if a child is right in front of you, playing with your kids, with no other carer in sight, then any normal parent will find themselves assuming the role of carer.

GnotherGnu · 28/05/2018 18:40

Is this a supervised site? I'd be tempted to raise with the managers that there are safeguarding concerns that a child this age is wandering around unsupervised by his parents.

expatinscotland · 28/05/2018 18:44

' if a child is right in front of you, playing with your kids, with no other carer in sight, then any normal parent will find themselves assuming the role of carer.'

Not necessarily. I'd immediately look round for their carer if they're as young as the child in this circumstance. I'd be worried about them but also, I don't like looking after random children, family time is really important, so that gets nipped in the bud by me.

And in water? NFW. They'd be the first ones to accuse the OP if something went wrong.

LambChopsMcGee · 28/05/2018 18:50

Have the parents made any attempt to be friendly with you, OP? Ask you over for a drink or anything?

Original poster
HolidayCF · 28/05/2018 18:51

I’ve given him a ten minute warning now. Parents still not emerged

We’re off to the beach tomorrow, have told kids not to tell him!

OP posts:
Original poster
HolidayCF · 28/05/2018 18:52

Supervised site? Not sure what you mean. We’re in a Eurocamp in France but inchalets

OP posts:
Original poster
HolidayCF · 28/05/2018 18:52

Lamb, no not at all. They don’t come out. Dad didn’t even lift his head off sofa when I went over

OP posts:
zzzzz · 28/05/2018 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DarlingNikita · 28/05/2018 19:02

Poor kid.

YANBU to find it exasperating, though. They've got serious brass neck. Next incident, tell them in no uncertain terms that you are not the childminder.

GabsAlot · 28/05/2018 19:02

did he go yet

best thing not to tell kids your plans till other boy has gone so they cant turn up wherever you are

holey · 28/05/2018 19:03

Kids meet other kids on holiday and that's nice. Playing outside together is lovely but it stops being lovely when they start playing specifically at one chalet/caravan or whatever and that parent then has to supervise extra ones. It is usually where the most kids are living or the ones with the best toys who look like they're having the most fun. I'd say to your DCs that if they want to play with him that's fine but he isn't to come onto your decking, into your chalet etc or to accompany you when you leave your chalet. That way you keep the areas where they play neutral- in the areas between your chalet and theirs. In the same way as at home, you may let your children play outside with others but not come into your home or your garden etc. Then you can supervise yours and if the CFs can't be arsed supervising theirs it isn't your problem or your responsibility to do it for them.

Katedotness1963 · 28/05/2018 19:07

He's been sent over with ice creams for everyone? They know they're piss takers. They're playing you now!

rookiemere · 28/05/2018 19:10

I know it's definitely not your fault or responsibility, but I feel so sorry for that poor wee boy. We've just been away and it reminds me of the dog next door to ours out on the decking on it's own for most of the day.

We have an only and I absolutely love it if he takes a shine to another DC, but I'd be very careful to ensure that we didn't take advantage - would much rather have DS around and pay ice creams etc. whatever for another boy than not see him in his holiday.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 28/05/2018 19:25

Why the fuck do people procreate when they can't be bothered to look after one child. That poor kid certainly drew the short straw with his selfish gits of parents. How you could hide away indoors every day and leave your son on his own for hours is a mystery to me. That poor child must be so desperate for some company and human interaction. I think you and your kids have been very accommodating & patient with the young lad, but as you say it is not your job to mind him. And you are right, the parents are obviously experts at this game, CFs.

Starlight87 · 28/05/2018 19:45

People who blag babysitting/childcare really annoy me. When I was in the 6th form I did a martial art and there were three disinterested, disruptive early teen siblings there every week.

After a while the instructor realised that her class fees were simply cheaper than a child minder (class was Friday evenings – surprise) Angry.

expatinscotland · 28/05/2018 19:49

'We’re off to the beach tomorrow, have told kids not to tell him!'

Or just tell him, 'We need family time now so you'll have to go back to your parents.'

boilerhouse2007 · 28/05/2018 19:56

tbh I am going to go against the grain here- 1 kid would not bother me and as long as he is not being a nuisance and playing with my kids I really would not care. He keeps my kids entertained and he is probably lonely on his own. If they were sending 3 or 4 kids over I'd be annoyed but just 1 i'd hardly notice him and just be happy my kids are having a good time and playing and not annoying me.

boilerhouse2007 · 28/05/2018 19:57

''there were three disinterested, disruptive early teen siblings there every week.

After a while the instructor realised that her class fees were simply cheaper than a child minder''

Assumed kids that age did not need babysitting

LOL7 · 28/05/2018 20:01

Just place marking so I can read later- I've been there too OP!

Mintychoc1 · 28/05/2018 20:08

boilerhouse don’t you think it’s a pain to have to be responsible for someone else’s kid, while the parents relax?

And those who say you aren’t responsible - imagine you’re at a playground, your kids are playing, stray kid appears as usual and plays with your kids. Parents not in sight, also as usual. Stray kid decides to do something crazy like climb to the top of something high and jump off. You know this could result in injury. What do you do? Do you just sit there, shrug and say “well he’s not my kid, I’m not responsible”? No, of course you wouldn’t. You’d end up telling him not to do it. So there you are, basically in charge of someone else’s child, for free, on your holiday, when you have your own to look after. And all the while, the other parents chill out.