To tell this woman her 14yo dd is going to have sex?

[Luckything50]

Advice pls wise ones. My 14 (nearly 15 if that matters) ds and his lovely gf are planning to have sex. Much discussion going on over instagram (I have access to his account) she's about to get the pill next month and asking him if he wants to... he's saying yes but thinking about risks... so what, if anything, do I do? Have chatted about condoms (he said he was going to be sick having that conversation 😂) but should I be asking them not to, and should I mention it to her mum? We're not friends but she's messaged me in the past about them facetiming at 4 in the morning and seems cool, has a job where she meets lots of teens. I also have a 12 yo dd and would like to know. What the consensus?

Whether it was true or not i’d tell the ds it was illegal and he could be prosecuted. That might spike his guns.

Instagramming at 4am would result in a device meeting death by sledgehammer if it were my ds or dd.

but surely neither is he if he is also 14 ?I realise the law is odd sometimes. but if he was 20 and she was 14 obviously it's an entirely different matter but as they are both 14 ?

You can't caution a juvenile in these circumstances. Because you do not have enough evidence to prosecute.
Consensual sex between two under 16s is not the focus of the law.

14 year old children are too young for sex.
On so many levels.
Any parent condoning this is being abusive.

Some posters could do with reading the age of consent section of this www.fpa.org.uk/factsheets/law-on-sex
and seeing how the guidelines would apply in this specific situation.

so basically the police wouldn't be looking to prosecute as they are both under the age of consent and they are of a similar age .

There is no doubt an offence has been committed but as you should know it is very very unlikely there would be any action taken. The courts would be fuller than they are just now if teenagers were prosecuted routinely.

What on earth are you doing snooping in his private messages???! What an appalling breach of trust. If you honestly think you have any hope of stopping this good luck. Only a few more years before they're old enough to leave home and if I ever caught my parents when I was that age going through my priavte messages like that I would have cut them out of my life. You teach your children respect by example, this is so disrespectful and it's not just your sons privacy you're invading.

Also OP, it's disturbing that you read your son's intimate, private chats. Don't do that anymore

This.

mylearnedfriend lets not over egg the pudding by implying that this may lead to a rape investigation.

If that were the case then no one should have sex for fear that would happen.

Again, that could happen after any sexual encounter.

You are totally wrong. I’m worried that you are proclaiming yourself as some kind of legal expert.

Show me the legislation that says a male under the age of 16 had NO defence to an allegation of rape?

The statistics for young people under 15 regretting having are are really high. Also it's far less common than it's made out to be sexually active under age. Most young people are 16+
I'm very surprised at pp who said her year 8s are sexually active

Can you post the legislation you are referring to? The part where he has no defence?