Fat and fabulous

[highchairhell]

So I am fat. I like food too much to lose weight and after spending years of my life worrying about my waistline, I've had enough.

I want to look good this summer and see fabulous fat women all the time ... what is the secret to looking fat and fabulous?! Aibu to think that you can still look brilliant at 18 stone?! I just want fashion tips please, not judgement or weight loss advice! Thanks

GorgonLondon thank you so much for your concern - not!! People make choices and no-one (including you) has the right to preach at them. Believe it or not we are all adults so what gives you the moral high ground I do not know.

Gorgon - the thing is that "health" concern doesn't help people lose weight. They KNOW they're fat, they KNOW the risks because every time you go to the doctor it's brought up. It's like saying "smoking is bad for you". Yeah, no shit!

It's like smoking. I smoked for years and I have a condition that causes abscesses. I went into hospital with the worst one, and needed a GA. by the time the third doctor had lectured me about "this disease is affected by smoking and weight", I lost it completely
It's the ONLY abscess I have needed surgery for, and I had quit smoking 6 months before and lost 2.5 stone. I developed the disease age 12, a non smoker and of a normal weight

Fat people are entitled to clothes, and ones that fit and look good, not just a black sack until they reach a magical size that's somehow acceptable
I exercise, my weight isn't even an issue with my doctor now. My BP is fine, my bloods are done every 12 weeks and are fine, I could run if I was allowed to, I can grab a pole and invert myself upside down or do an hours spin class

When I lost the 2.5 stone I had to cut to 1200 calories and it's bloody hard - I'm 5ft 10 so not like a 5ft person on 1200 cals

What would help me lose weight? Not having to work 2 jobs, being able to do more spin classes, having more time to prep food, not doing a job where the only place to eat is in your car, and having money to spend on food prep/PT
Obesity is very, very complex and not one reason for everyone. I support healthy at every size because to me it means you can be healthiER at any size, so you can always eat more veg, have fruit, less sugar, exercise a bit more

It's nothing to do with 'moral high ground' or 'preaching', there's so many wrong value judgements there.

The fact is that obesity kills, and it's killing more and more people every year.

Make up and pretty dresses are a distraction. The number of people on this thread promoting obesity and saying it's fine and better than 'counting calories' etc. is really worrying.

If people were similarly promoting and glamorising anorexia I am sure that many of you would think it was morally wrong, so not sure why you think it's fine to glamorise obesity, which is just as dangerous.

But you don't have to hate yourself because you're fat! Surely loving yourself no matter what weight you are is more likely to make you nourish your body, move more, dress better, take care of your body. Self care

Rather than going "fuck, I'm fat and disgusting" which is what makes me want to binge eat or self harm

Just as having the audacity to dress nicely doesn't make any health problems go away, dressing in ill fitting rags isn't going to magically make me a size 8 in the morning 🙄 I go the gym, I try to eat healthily and I have lost a few stone but still very much a work in progress.

When am I allowed to stop hating myself?

Gorgon, nobody wants to hear the truth.
Have some chocolate.

So how are you helping Gorgon?
What exactly have you achieved by your posts?
Do you not see that by making people feel scared and ashamed you are pushing them towards the very thing you are warning them about?

GorgonLondon we are going to have to disagree because every time you post you are preaching and taking the moral high ground and the last time I checked no-one had died and made you God.

People make choices and it is NOT for you to judge.

Obesity kills - no shit Sherlock. So does any other number of life style choices. Being overweight and the causes behind it are complex so get off your high horse and show some support for someone who wants to look nice and the last time I checked most of us do.

@Ollivander84

There is a lot going on in your post.

They KNOW they're fat, they KNOW the risks because every time you go to the doctor it's brought up. It's like saying "smoking is bad for you". Yeah, no shit!

This is not true for many people. see for example:
www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/12/01/nearly-half-of-americas-overweight-people-dont-realize-theyre-overweight/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.b46124dd831d

This is also encouraged by posts like those in this thread where people keep saying "oh I'd never think you weighed x stone, you look like you only weigh x stone!" or where people say "BMI is a load of nonsense"

It's not just empty flattery, it's pushing a distorted idea of what a healthy body looks like. There is a huge range - at my height I could weigh anywhere from 8 st 10 to 11 st 10 and still be within a normal BMI. But being way outside that - 18 stone as per the OP here - is NOT ok for anyone.

Fat people are entitled to clothes, and ones that fit and look good, not just a black sack until they reach a magical size that's somehow acceptable

No one say s otherwise, but many posters on this thread are actively promoting the idea that you shouldn't even try to lose weight and that they prefer being heavier and not having to make any attempt to be healthy.

I exercise, my weight isn't even an issue with my doctor now. My BP is fine, my bloods are done every 12 weeks and are fine, I could run if I was allowed to, I can grab a pole and invert myself upside down or do an hours spin class

That's great, but (presuming you are overweight from your post?) it's still no good for your body to be overweight or obese.
www.nhs.uk/news/obesity/new-study-casts-further-doubt-idea-you-can-be-fat-and-fit/

When I lost the 2.5 stone I had to cut to 1200 calories and it's bloody hard - I'm 5ft 10 so not like a 5ft person on 1200 cals

I agree, I'm 5 ft 8 and work out every day and I agree that 1200 calories is incredibly difficult. I usually have about 1500 myself. But to weigh 18 stone - and many of the posters here are much shorter than you or me - is not about failing to keep under 1200 calories, people are taking in double or triple that amount. Consistently.

Obesity is very, very complex and not one reason for everyone. I support healthy at every size because to me it means you can be healthiER at any size, so you can always eat more veg, have fruit, less sugar, exercise a bit more

I agree to a point. But actually being 18 stone for a woman of average height is doing massive, massive damage to her body and is something that should be tackled rather than accepted or even celebrated as it is here.

Gorgon - photo further upthread of me. If you go off BMI yes, overweight. If you go off waist half of height then no, I'm not
The lowest I ever managed to get, and that was on 1200 cals consistently for a long time was 14st 5

I go the gym, I try to eat healthily and I have lost a few stone but still very much a work in progress. When am I allowed to stop hating myself?

@angryburd

firstly well done on your weight loss, losing a few stone is a huge achievement and deserves respect.

Secondly i have not said that anyone should hate themselves and I haven't seen anyone else say that either - perhaps the deleted posts, I don't know.

But you are obviously making an active effort to lose weight - the posts that upset me are the ones where people are positively promoting being obese and saying that losing weight is wrong.

I don't see anyone "celebrating" being obese, merely sharing tips on how to look good. Which us fatties are entitled to do.

But thanks for your concern trolling I guess, Gorgon. It's nothing that hasn't been said about 80,000 times before... but thank you.

Where has anyone said losing weight is wrong?

Do you feel that you have helped people on this thread gorgon?

Size 22. I have good hair and legs. I like bright lipstick. At work the other day I woman I don’t know passed me in the stair well, gave me a big smile and said ‘you always look so glamorous’.

RickOShay So how are you helping Gorgon? What exactly have you achieved by your posts?

I don't know Rick but I felt that someone should speak up against the overwhelming narrative throughout this thread that weighing 18 stone is great. and that it's all about whether or not you look pretty and whether or not people fancy you.

Do you not see that by making people feel scared and ashamed you are pushing them towards the very thing you are warning them about?

Sorry but I absolutely do not buy this. If the reality of what obesity is doing to your body is scary then it should motivate people to at least try to tackle it, not to tell others it's OK.

If you wanted to, you can see in my post history that just a couple of days ago I was similarly criticising a poster who was tellign people it was fine to eat 400 calories a day and that she has done it for years - she was lying , but it's irresponsible and dangerous to say that on a public forum, and it's similarly irresponsible and dangerous to say that it's ok to weigh 18 stone.

Make up and pretty dresses are a distraction. The number of people on this thread promoting obesity and saying it's fine and better than 'counting calories' etc. is really worrying

I don't think it's quite what you think it is Gorgon. Speaking as a fattie myself (I've gone up and down, currently going up) it's this whole thing of your life somehow being on hold until you are an "ok" size. The thing is that you can waste a great deal of your life waiting for that moment. I know I did, and I bloody regret it. I'm not happy with my size just now, and I will lose it again, but I won't stop living and loving until I do, and I do think that's a large part of the fat and fabulous, body positive thing. The desire to just live, now. And why not? isn't everyone worthy of that? and some of us might never reach our body goals..we can't afford to wait until we do. I'd rather be thin, honestly I would, but I'd rather be fat and making the most of every moment than hiding away until I'm thin, if I ever am.

Rick I don't know if it helps or not, as I said above, it's important to speak out when people are pushing dangerous lies in public.

Do you think this campaign by Cancer Research UK was helpful?

www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/this-not-fat-shaming-cancer-research-uk-stands-anti-obesity-campaign-backlash/1458472

I think you look terrific, Ollivander!

SomeAreMore I agree with your post there, the posts that I thought were very wrong on this thread are the ones that say it's OK to be morbidly obese if people think you are pretty/ if you're happy with yourself. And yes, some - not all - posters have been saying that.

You can be totally happy with yourself and totally beautiful but it doesn't take away the realities of what it does to your body.

I'm in recovery from anorexia and bulimia and I know what it's like to fight with food demons. But I'm making that effort every day for the sake of my family so I don't leave them without a wife/mum/daughter.

Not one poster has said it is a bad idea to lose weight.
I see people celebrating themselves, or at least attempting to.
Would you agree that a happy person is more likely to lose weight than a miserable one?

I think focussing on weight can be counterproductive, but I certainly don’t think an obese person losing weight is wrong. Who on earth would think that?

I do think a fat person who makes positive changes will most likely lose weight, but I also think that diets and articles like that daily mail one, linked to by @gorgon, saying it’s not possible to be fat and fit and that fire and brimstone awaits anyone who is even a smidgen over their bmi, jusy aren’t helping imo. Show me a fat person who doesn’t know it would be better to be a healthy weight if possible, (the clue is in the word “healthy”) and I’ll show you an eejit.

The thing is, that people are fatter now than ever before and they’re always being told how wrong they are for being fat. It isn’t making them any thinner.

I’m watching a program right now talking about stress and getting fatter. Stress makes us fat apparently. Do you really think berating someone for their weight is going to help them lose weight? Or do you think that happy people are more likely to have a handle on their eating? Make positive changes -> feel better about yourself -> overeat less. Makes sense to me!

Focus on your unhealthy weight and how dreadful it is -> feel terrible about yourself -> overeat.

It’s not about whether other people think you are pretty, it’s about how you feel about yourself.

I didn't link to a Daily Mail article Father . i linked to an NHS Choices analysis of the recent media coverage of the 'fat but fit myth'.

And I certainly didn't link to any article that said " it’s not possible to be fat and fit and that fire and brimstone awaits anyone who is even a smidgen over their bmi,"

I'm more than willing to disagree/be disagreed with, but please don't make up lies.

Ergo encourage positivity. That’s the way forward, not scaring or shaming.