Fat and fabulous

[highchairhell]

So I am fat. I like food too much to lose weight and after spending years of my life worrying about my waistline, I've had enough.

I want to look good this summer and see fabulous fat women all the time ... what is the secret to looking fat and fabulous?! Aibu to think that you can still look brilliant at 18 stone?! I just want fashion tips please, not judgement or weight loss advice! Thanks

This was a pic I took not long ago - dress from boohoo!

Ollivander That dress shows off your hourglass shape. I'd love a waist that goes in, but I am one of life's apples.

I'm not being nasty just realistic, why would anyone encourage people to embrace being obese?
Fact it's the obese putting a strain on the nhs.
I put 5 stone in in one of my pregnancies and was 14 stone I couldn't even run up the stairs or play with my kids without getting out of breath, so I worked my arse off and lost the weight.

It's unhealthy end of, and I'm not going to come on here "bigging up" someone just because they can't be arsed to lose weight, and that's a it is she has given up so has a disillusion that being fat can work!

I was 18 stone (at 5ft 8)2 months ago (now 16). I just looked very fat, and in no way fabulous or brilliant. Sorry OP.

I FEEL pretty fabulous now I've changed the way I eat so have more energy and have gotten fitter so can climb up the stairs without a lie down afterwards.

Nice clothes are like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound, at that size.

To the fat shaming posters on this thread - your arse might look small, but you don't look lovely, trust me.

And if you are managing to cover up your intrinsic nastiness, that'll only work until you open your mouths.

Ah I completely understand and I do think of you have made the decision to accept your body as it is, I won’t say anything to change that. You are aware of the risks and you know what a healthy lifestyle includes, so people should treat you like an adult!

I will say though, I gave birth to my son recently and was mortified to see that I weighed 18 stone. I have tried to rock this higher weight, and for a couple of years when I first started gaining weight at around 18 - I did rock fat and fabulous. I have an hourglass shape and I was happy with my figure at 5’6 and 14 stone, pre children, big but no saggy or wobbly bits. Lots of compliments.

Fast forward 5 years and 2 pregnancies later and last November I weighed the same as you. I was devastated and no amount of flattering clothing could hide the fact that I felt slow, cumbersome, heavy and unfeminine. I’m in the process of losing weight and it is difficult, but have you thought of even shaving just a few stone and toning up so you feel in a good way?

You are being nasty Lola, it's here for everyone to see so pretty daft to deny it.

The OP was asking for ways on how to look good not to be given twatty lectures on how "unhealthy" she was.

Toss Only this week they've published new research showing that obesity now causes even more types of cancer than previously thought - it causes 12 types of cancer, previously they thought it was 7
www.theguardian.com/society/2018/may/23/obesity-now-linked-to-12-different-cancers

That's without even considering the massively increased risks of coronary heart disease, type 2 diabetes, stroke, infertility, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, pre-eclampsia, gallstones, osteoarthritis, high blood pressure, liver disease, kidney disease, sleep apnea, etc. etc. etc.

Any number of snarky remarks about being 'ugly on the inside' or 'being hangry' or how 'fabulous' you look in expensive clothes isn't going to change any of that.

A couple of days ago I reported several posts to MN for promoting starvation diets and triggering eating disorders. But this is no better.

I don't doubt for a moment that plenty of men (and women) fancy people who are overweight, or that overweight people can present themselves well. But none of that changes the underlying fact that obesity is HUGELY damaging and dangerous.

Nice clothes are like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound, at that size.

I strongly disagree. Everyone looks better if they make an effort with their clothes, whether fat or thin. Nice colours, textures and fabrics are no less nice for being put on a larger body!

I don't see how I'm being nasty but hey ho I bet everyone saying that are also obese and in denial people need to wake up clothes and make up can't hide the facts.

'I'm not being nasty just realistic, why would anyone encourage people to embrace being obese?'

Because they're happy with themselves and didn't ask for people to tell them off.

'Fact it's the obese putting a strain on the nhs.'

Fact is everyone puts a strain on the NHS unless they drop dead without having been ill first

'I don't see how I'm being nasty but hey ho I bet everyone saying that are also obese and in denial '

Nope, I'm not obese.

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS that second site you posted, lots of the clothes look the same as stuff i buy from e bay. type in Zanzea plus size and there are loads of lovely things at a much cheaper price than that site. They do come from China but if you are patient they are usually very good quality and a bit different. I'm a size 22 and get loads of compliments on my clothes yet most of it is cheap as chips, I just coordinate well with matching shoes and bags (also cheap) and lots of nice jewellry, again cheap from e bay. looking good at a bigger size is in my opinion being well groomed, having a good eye for style and dressing an outfit up, coordinatinating well and then being confident to carry it off. I do my hair and add colour extensions etc and am known as the matching queen as I very often have matching bag,shoes, scarf, jewellry etc, looks like I have made an effort and looks expensive even when its not. I love a full wardrobe of cheap stuff rather than the quality items that are expensive. works for me.

Unfortunately a thread on Mumsnet with even the most oblique reference to weight will always end in spite. I suppose there are people who have such miserable daily lives that they desperately need someone to feel superior to, and trying to make other people feel ashamed and worthless is an outlet for them.
Honestly, there is no power on earth that could make me start a thread about weight on here.(See also budgeting,benefits,food).

I'm not overweight either - size 10 here.

I'm not obese either. Or nasty. Or judgemental.

If I had to choose one of those qualities, though, it'd be obese every time.

I just don't see what judgemental people get out of it.

As for obesity putting a strain on the NHS...having children does too. And sports related injuries. And car crashes. And poor mental health. Basically, being alive.

I've spent too much time hating my body. I've been anything from a size 12 to a size 20. I'm currently a size 14 or a 16. I haven't bought any new clothes in a while.

The main thing is picking flattering items that suit you.

But you are.
You feel all justified and smug now,
how do you think most of the people on this thread feel?
Do you honestly think that they are all inspired by your words and warmed by your concern?
Well, do you?

I'm about a stone overweight - I'm certainly not in denial of that fact, Lola .

I agree with a previous poster fitted clothes . Do not hide in baggies you will obvs look bigger. Shift dresses are key and if you have good boobs like you say you will rock these. Try top vintage and lady v. Also a dress is effortless, put a dress on and you look like you have made an effort.

Good for you op!

I always think if you’re going to be fat anyway, you might as well be fat and happy! A lot of people think the same as me I’m sure, but there will always be a fat-hater around to be a massive cunt about it .

Anywho, I’m not the same size as you but am in a slightly similar position. I’m a very little bit overweight (we’re talking pounds not stones) after having a baby. I’m breastfeeding so find it very hard to restrict calories and anyway, I can never stick to proper “diets”. For that reason, I’m trying to embrace my new size and get on with living my life, (god excuse the cheesy cliches).

Maybe you already exercise a lot, but I didn’t do much during pregnancy and I’ve just recently started exercising, (20 - 30 minutes or so of weights & interval training or yoga), every day. I feel a million times better for it. Dieting was making be fed up and left me feeling like a total failure, whereas exercise is making me feel amazing. I’d been told by so many people not to bother with exercise and to just focus on diet, as exercise wouldn’t help me lose lbs. But I can already feel the benefits and I’ve only been going for about a week! Also have read a lot about the benefits of it. No, I might not lose weight, but fitness isn’t all about bmi. And I do think a fit, fat person can look better than a thin, unfit person.

My fat distribution pisses me off, frankly.

Legs and bum muscled and shapely. Tits massive, obscuring my relatively narrow back and waist. Then all apple-belly. Redeemed a bit by a tall, broad, hourglass frame which carries a lot of weight well (last time I was 14 stone I had a 28" waist).

I'm losing weight, but I'm so jealous of women in a lovely shape whatever their size!

I suppose there are people who have such miserable daily lives that they desperately need someone to feel superior to, and trying to make other people feel ashamed and worthless is an outlet for them

Yep I wondered earlier how long it would be before someone mentioned the strain on the NHS. twat Its like Mumsnet bingo here. They won't be happy until we're sobbing into our icecreams 😂. I guess they've got a shite weekend lined up for themselves and they're taking it out on us. How bloody dare fat people be happy and talk about looking nice

Some people really do get outraged that fat people can feel good about themselves. I work with one. She makes needling comments if I let her because she thinks deep down I must hate myself. It infuriates her that I don't. She can get quite nasty about me not hating myself. I think it is really all about her feelings about herself. Her self-worth is tied up in her weight and it makes her feel bad about herself, and she cannot accept that someone who is larger doesn't feel the same about themselves. How dare they not have low self-worth when she who is smaller does!

What really, honestly gets to me is that all this 'fat acceptance' is dressed up as being non-superficial, looking beyond the surface, etc. when actually it's incredibly superficial.

If you think you look good or if people fancy you, that doesn't do anything to mitigate the reality of obesity and its consequences.

I posted above just a sample of some of the extremely serious, often fatal health conditions caused by obesity, but apparently finding 'cute dresses' that show off your 'hourglass figure' is more important.

It's not.

Dawn French was absolutely gorgeous at her biggest, I'm sure loads of men and plenty of women would have loved to have shagged her, but that didn't make all of the health problems magically disappear.

Exactly the same applies to Kate Moss, Jodie Kidd or anyone who thinks they look gorgeous when dangerously underweight.

It's not about looks - or it shouldn't be. Even more so if you have children or other loved ones who would miss you if you died.