Whats you opinion of "stay at home wives"

[strawberryperogi]

After reading another thread about SAHMs I am curious about what people would say about SAHWs, I know you will all say it should just be unemployed but if the person isn't looking for a job then are they really in that catagory?

Could you respect or be friends with a woman who didn't work and earn or at least look after her children?

Just curious!

Completely agree MrsKoala. I don’t want my kids to work like dogs either. We work hard so they have options to work less/travel more/volunteer if they want to.

Protestant work ethic indeed!

Cornish I think if you are the lesser earning partner then that equally applies, not just to SAHMs or SAHWs.

I’m a good role model to my Children,I demonstrate working and work ethic
My kids see me work,not just their dad.they see a demonstrable work ethics from both parents

there is not a finite and constant number of jobs.

Not a constant number no but of course there is a finite number of jobs! That is partly the reason why some people are unwillingly out of work!

Me going out to work contributes bugger all to the economy TBH. I don’t pay tax and I don’t spend any more money than I did when I was a SAHM, some of my earnings go to DD so that she can study rather than have to work and the rest of it (and a lot of DH’s) is put into savings.

If I didn't have to work I'd give it up in a millisecond.

LipstickHandbagCoffee Yeah, when my DC were small I sat on my arse all day while their dad worked his fingers to the bone. It must have been the fairies that kept the cupboards full, meals cooked, house clean, beds clean and made, did the laundry and ironing etc, etc.

Your working generates ni, and a service or goods is produced that is then sold on for profit
So you job generates ni and the output of your labour

The way some people are saying 'running the house', like it's some kind of mansion. Running Buckingham palace is a job...not your average house.

How much mess and cooking is required for 2 people.... and by doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry ... You relegate yourself to being as good as maid.

For the posters saying it's non of your business...we know that. It's called a discussion. You can discuss things you have an opinion on. It's not like anyone here knocks on the doors of wives dependant on their husbands...and berates them.

A SAHW if effectively being financially provided for ... in return for being in a romantic relationship and (in some cases) doing housework.

As long as they didn't rely on benefits why would I care? It frees up the jobs for someone else who wants it/needs it more!

I'm not sure I'd have much in common with a SAHW so unlikely to become friends.

I do wonder what they do all day, I guess it could be fun to have all the time in the world to read books/educate myself, but then what's the point if there's no end goal? If it's just nails and lunches then I find that empty and superficial.

As long as they were supporting themselves/supported by spousal income I don't see that it does any harm though. Generally I'm ambivalent/don't care. I don't know any SAHW at any rate so it's not really on my radar.

Spontaneous, you’re simply listing tasks.
Tasks my dp and I do and we work ft
Difference is you have a lot more time to do the tasks in,and can stretch task &time

LipstickHandbagCoffee Without me my husband could not have built his business, employed others and provided a service. It took both of us, a team to allow him to do that. So I did contribute, just not in pounds and pence but it enabled him to contribute more. Happy now? Your hatred towards SAHW is unreal.

This is so mysogynistic. Women can be more than men's personal assistants you know. It's not either care for a man at home or care for one at work. We are capable of being equals. 😔😔😔

And yet it's apparently not misogynistic to assume that a woman who doesn't have paid employment can have no other purpose in life but to look after a husband and children.

The way some people are saying 'running the house', like it's some kind of mansion. Running Buckingham palace is a job...not your average house.
That's how I feel.
What do they do 'running a house' that the rest of us don't do?
But I feel the same way about 'household admin'. Surely it's paying bills abd other basic stuff.

'could you respect or be friends with'..... er yeah? why wouldnt you?

I get a bit wound up with women judging other womens life choices.
I mean sometimes a wife may not work because her husband works very long hours and earns a lot of money... but doesnt get much time at home to do household stuff, so she might take care of that side of things... and that IS a job. And if they have a joint account because they are married then she IS getting paid for it in a sense.... she is part of a team that is facilitating that man earning what he does and therefor she is partially responsible for the earnings.

And some wives of super super wealthy guys might stay at home and not do any household stuff and pay to have all that done by someone else.... but still, if thats what they want to do and it brings them happiness, good for them. Why should they not do that if its what the couple are happy with??

I’ve heard that plenty of expat housewives drink too much from idleness and loneliness.

Maybe some do, it’s not an easy gig. But the ones I know don’t. They tend to be very active in the community, for as fleas (plenty of time!) volunteering, learning the language if they stay more than a year or so.

I’ve been an expat although I’ve always worked too. And I found it hard. It’s possible I think in the future we could move again and if so we would have kids, and if I end up somewhere I can’t get a work visa then a few years out might happen. I’d need to think carefully about it though.

There’s no one ‘right’ way to live, to be a wife or a husband or a parent. Everyone has different financial circumstances and different restrictions (money, visas, health etc.) the only important things are that the choices are freely made, there’s no coercion and everyone is able to access resources equally.

Good for them. I would love a life like that.

Well this is just great for my self esteem and now worrying what my friends think of me. Just fucking great.

I'm a "stay at home wife" or you know... housewife?

And it's because my mental health was so bad because of work that being a housewife is much better for both me and my husband. I volunteer two days a week and do house work and generally try to look after myself.

I'm disappointed that some of you would judge me for that.

As has already been pointed out SAHW are 'economically inactive', i.e. they don't contribute to the economy Moot point really. Those who volunteer and take the strain off social services for example by doing unpaid caring work or filling gaps in provision are arguably contributing to the economy as it reduces the burden on the state.

My dh wouldn't spend very much if he were on his own as he works long days. I contribute to the economy by spending his/our money, we employ a cleaner, we employ a Letting Agent, a gardener; we buy goods and services which attract VAT, which I believe is the third largest source of government revenue in the UK.

It must have been the fairies that kept the cupboards full, meals cooked, house clean, beds clean and made, did the laundry and ironing etc, etc.

Yeah, it's the fairies who do it in this house when DH and I are at work.

Take a breath spontaneous,before any more hyperbole about hatred
I correctly observed you listed tasks.tasks the majority of working parents do too
If your dp is skilled enough to build a business he’s also skilled enough to outsource domestic tasks if he had too. I suspect he’d adequately problem solve the cleaning,correspondence etc

Bloody hell. How judgemental. Never mind havibg respect for people being a human being!!! Sour grapes much?

LipstickHandbagCoffee My DH is dead! He worked to provide as long as he could. He put four kids through uni. All of them work. Three have children of their own now. I feel not ounce of shame for the choices we made. I now have a comfortable life due to our choices. I now live alone in a lovely house in a lovely rural area. This is all down to the choices we made before we had children. So I'm happy to say you can judge 'till the cows come home but I don't regret a minute. - signed a prostitute, terrible mother who doesn't instil work ethics and lived on her husbands money!

I have no respect for a stay at home wife. That is basically prostitution imo!
What a ridiculous comment.

My opinion (for what it's worth, ie nothing) about SAHWs is...um...nope, don't have one.