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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to say something to parents who DO this?

203 replies

AjasLipstick · 24/05/2018 09:41

At school drop off, there are quite a lot of parents who park on the side of the quite busy road (that's allowed) and then go INTO the road open the child's passenger door and stand there with their arses sticking out whilst they undo seatbelts and haul toddlers out.

Why don't they go onto the PATH side of the car and get them out there? Confused Yes they might have to kneel into the car a bit if the child is further towards the road side...but so what? They shouldn't be standing on roads and getting children out onto roads should they?

OP posts:
Lethaldrizzle · 26/05/2018 07:58

Madam quimby- we're not all 'fucking stressed' on the school run. Mine's a rather pleasant walk Smile

Lethaldrizzle · 26/05/2018 08:03

And 'stop the culture of bubble wrapping kids' - don't drive them then!

Lizzie48 · 26/05/2018 08:06

No one is victim blaming. A driver who hits a pedestrian getting out of their car is always in the wrong. The Highway Code states that a driver must always leave enough room when passing parked cars precisely to avoid this kind of accident. It's not at all about blame, it's about the fact that there are idiot drivers around and it's a good idea to minimise any risk.

Another reason why it's dangerous to allow a kid to get out on the road side is that little ones are totally unpredictable. If they see one of their friends on the other side of the road, which is very likely on the school run, they might suddenly dash across the road.

BonfiresOfInsanity · 26/05/2018 08:14

The thing about parents doing this is also that they are teaching children that’s it OK to get out of the car on the road side. A month or so ago, my car wing mirror was knocked off as I went past a parked car when the child in the back of that car flung open the door to get out. This was on a narrow side road made worse by the parked cars, it’s not always possible to leave enough room to ensure a full doors width can open between two vehicles as much as that might be a perfect scenario.

lulu12345 · 26/05/2018 08:42

Thanks for sharing this OP, tbh it had never occurred to me to use only pavement side but having read some of the warning stories here I will now

Kelp23 · 26/05/2018 08:46

I drive the longer way round to playschool just so my daughter's seat is on the pavement side when I arrive.. it also annoys me when parents are stood in the road fastening their child in.

cakedup · 26/05/2018 09:52

Ridiculous to compare to rape culture and victim blaming. As a woman do you never take precautions for your safety? Is it wrong for a woman to carry an alarm? Yes of course she shouldn't have to. I should be able to cross a zebra crossing with the knowledge that cars will stop, but they don't always. Can I stand in the middle of a motorway and expect to not get hit?

madamquimby in London, schools DO have a shared responsibility to promote safe and sustainable travel whether you think it's right or not.

SickofPeterRabbit · 26/05/2018 10:03

@FullOfJellyBeans Shock What happened?? Did you have to call Police??? X

cakedup · 26/05/2018 10:05

As part of my job, I teach smaller children the importance of holding hands as most accidents involving children up until around age 7 are due to break aways. I have stood outside schools to encourage this and some parents are as defensive as some of the replies on this thread. "My child knows to keep close" "I know how to keep an eye on them" etc.

Last summer I heard a commotion outside and looked out of my window to witness a 5 year old boy who had just run into the road because he had seen his sister, and got scooped up into the wheel arch of a car going at 15mph. I have to walk past the flowers every day and often see his mum walking around. Road safety guidance is there for a reason. No one sits there making it up. It's based on data of road traffic accidents. If the advice is to get out from the pavement side, why not just take the safer option? Don't wait for a wake up call.

SickofPeterRabbit · 26/05/2018 10:18

@PeakPants I get the impression you're of a generation that didn't have Rear facing car seats?

My daughters seat is about half an inch from touching the back of the front passenger seat. (Perfectly normal, was fitted by a professional). If I had another child at the other side, there is absolutely no way another child could get past. Nope.

If this was the set up..... How? Underneath all rear facing seats is a big bar the goes into the floor so no child of any age can go underneath. Impossible.

To want to say something to parents who DO this?
Lethaldrizzle · 26/05/2018 10:30

But surely it's all about life choices. Somewhere along the line you decided to have more than one kid. You decided to live in a certain area a certain distance from school. You decide to drive to school et etc. I know one of the reasons I chose to live where we live is that it's walking distance to things like school. You can't blame it on the size of your car or you family

Chocmallows · 26/05/2018 10:49

Lethal I agree it is life choices. Some people choose to get up late, park right by the school and in a rush choose to pull children out into a busy road.

Others get up earlier, drive a bit further from the school as they know it can be hard to get children out of the back so they need to pull into a quieter road and not take risks.

Accidents happen, but everyone has life choices to minimise them. When I am late, I still choose the quieter roads as I would rather get my DCs to school in one piece and they are both eight plus.

Hellbentwellwent · 26/05/2018 11:07

I have twin toddlers, both car seats in the back, it is literally impossible to get one out from the opposite side of the car, hth, it’s lovely to think some cunty twat is judging me as I get my children out of the car, thanks for that.

seafoodeatit · 26/05/2018 11:11

@sickofpeterrabbit our car looks like that too, and people's suggestion of eldest getting themselves out isn't feasible with 2 under 2, it'd be a disaster if they could manage to undo their belt.

curlilox · 26/05/2018 11:21

I have seen parents at a local high school stop in the outside lane of a dual carriageway at traffic lights and allow children to get out onto the central reservation and then run across the other carriageway to get to school! Shock

dinomum13 · 26/05/2018 11:22

That's weird because I was just thinking the same thing when I saw a mum doing it this morning. I've had two children very close in age - you can get them out from the safe side - always xx

GabsAlot · 26/05/2018 12:10

bubble wrapping what like taking them in a car to the school gates

noone is being sanctimonious-if you dont think its a necessary point go to europe and try it whereits banned and might be here one day too

Nicklebox · 26/05/2018 12:55

I agree that children should always be removed from the car on the pavement side. Years ago someone i know was killed putting a baby back in the car on the road side. It doesn't matter whose fault it would be. I have three children and always got them out of car on the pavement side no matter how difficult it was and i also have a disability. It really isn't worth the risk doing anything else.

nannykatherine · 26/05/2018 14:05

you ha be to get one child out on roadside if you have two car seats or three incar as you can't reach from pavement side
have you ever tried it ?
no !!!
i'm sure the other parents would do that if they could but it's impossible

nannykatherine · 26/05/2018 14:07

exactly what Hellbentwellmeant said

Lethaldrizzle · 26/05/2018 14:29

Cunty twat is a bit harsh

butterballs9 · 26/05/2018 16:08

I do agree about lifestyle choice. I made sure we lived very close to the school my children went to. It really did minimize the stress of getting to and from school and it meant they didn't have a hideously long day as their school started quite early in the morning. There were some families who lived miles away and I did feel sorry for the children having to spend so long in a car and also not having any school friends locally. It also meant there was less pressure to get homework squeezed into the after school time so they had more leisure time in the evening. I realize, though, that this may not be an option for some people.

butterballs9 · 26/05/2018 16:37

Also, how about more car sharing? When I was growing up parents clubbed together with other families living locally and did what was called a school run 'rota'. Five kids in the car - meant my mother only did one or two school runs a week. OK, there were fewer after-school clubs etc then but it seemed to work perfectly well. It was sociable too and meant that I made friends with some children living very locally who weren't necessarily in the same year as me. Children didn't start school as early then so there were fewer issues with baby seats etc. No seat belts in the back either - it was quite normal just to cram a whole bunch of children into the car with no seat belts on. God I sound old! There was FAR less traffic then though.

Custardee · 27/05/2018 02:48

Couldn't people do the safe thing, as seen by the comments above, and help kids out on the pavement side....by parking further away in a safe spot on the correct dude fit getting them out the car and walking the last bit? Surely that's safer and worth leaving the house a bit earlier?

AjasLipstick · 27/05/2018 03:22

Custard you'd hope so wouldn't you? But it seems like to many, the very idea of being even slightly inconvenienced is not at all acceptable.

The scram and scrum which occurs every day at many schools as parents try to get the closest possible park, is awful. I know one woman who arrives to pick up her children at 2.00pm daily.

This is so she can be certain of a parking spot right outside school. She sits there playing on her phone.

OP posts:
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