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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to say something to parents who DO this?

203 replies

AjasLipstick · 24/05/2018 09:41

At school drop off, there are quite a lot of parents who park on the side of the quite busy road (that's allowed) and then go INTO the road open the child's passenger door and stand there with their arses sticking out whilst they undo seatbelts and haul toddlers out.

Why don't they go onto the PATH side of the car and get them out there? Yes they might have to kneel into the car a bit if the child is further towards the road side...but so what? They shouldn't be standing on roads and getting children out onto roads should they?

OP posts:

HerFemaleness · 24/05/2018 11:52

Occasionally a parking inspector will rock up at school pick up and drop off times, I love it. You'll see cars coming up indicating to pull up and park on the double yellow or the zig zags, they see the inspector and then cancel the indicators and are away again, presumably to park on a side street a few minutes further away. Don't know why they can't park there all the time.

I always park a few minutes walk away just so I'm not navigating the mass of cars and people on the road outside the school. Even if I'm running late. Better to be late then be a danger to others.

BlueBug45 · 24/05/2018 11:58

In an ideal world people would take extra care driving near a school and not do dickhead stuff like take people's doors off.

Some parents throw their doors open to get their kids in and out regardless of what is coming.

In my case I live opposite a primary school, near a hospital with an A & E and round the corner from a fire station. While the emergency vehicle drivers do their best, some drivers including parents are complete dickheads.

Original poster

AjasLipstick · 24/05/2018 12:00

HerFemaleness fabulous!

I understand it's tricky if there are two child seats in the back...but if that's the case, then park where it won't be an issue. Though I still think I could undo two children from one side...I accept some people are really short or have mobility issues.

OP posts:

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 24/05/2018 12:10

I have been trying to picture a car where you cannot access the car seat from the side, even if you have to climb in, or from the front seats. I can't think of any.

drearydeardre · 24/05/2018 12:14

does the same occur in reverse at pickup time - getting the children into their respective car seats from the pavement side?

UserInfinityplus1 · 24/05/2018 12:15

Mine are both in car seats so I can't get one of them them out without "my arse sticking out" into the road - sorry! I do try to be a quick and courteous to drivers as I can be though.

TheFatkinsDiet · 24/05/2018 12:19

I have to do pre-school pick up and drop off with two car seats. Park where it isn’t an issue you say? If I get parked at all I’m grateful. They aren’t busy roads round the school though, if that makes a difference, so people rarely have to go round me.

NoSquirrels · 24/05/2018 12:23

Our school regularly reminds people not to get their children in and out roadside. Ask school to do an info note about it.

Most people will be able to get 2 or 3 DC out on the pavement side. By school age, most DC are capable of undoing their own clips - and the younger siblings need to be the ones closest to the pavement side door, so you can reach and they can climb.

It may be unavoidable for some people, but not the majority. In my experience, those for whom it is unavoidable take steps to park where they can mitigate the risk. The majority, on the other hand, just don't think it's a priority - they've never considered it.

pigmcpigface · 24/05/2018 12:27

People are idiots.

While you're having a word about this, can you also sort out the extremely inefficient way that people board flights, OP?

TheBrilloPad · 24/05/2018 12:27

I'm not particularly short and I don't have mobility issues, and I don't have a huge car either (ford focus), but I have two large RF seats for my 2&3yr old, and it's not physically possible to undo them both from the pavement. I've tried, DH tried. Angle of the seats/the fact the way the RF seats are fitted means it's genuinely not possible without climbing over the car seat and into the car. And if you're climbing into the car to undo one child, you certainly can't have eyes on your other one!

Much much safer to get the roadside child out, then the pavement child out, and have eyes on both at all time, than to get pavement child out and not be able to see them as you are climbing into a car to get roadside child out, surely?

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 12:31

fullofjellybeans that's fine, you disagree all you like dear.

That's quite a sarcastic reply (I did genuinely try to voice by opinion in a respectful manner - apologies if I didn't succeed).

NoSquirrels · 24/05/2018 12:32

Brillo do you mean you couldn't get in to unstrap the furthest child without climbing on top of nearest child?

MoonFacesMum · 24/05/2018 12:33

If you're doing the school drop off surely you have at least one school age child who can get out of their own car seat?

Nope, they can’t undo their five point harnesses, for which I’m glad.

I drive too, obviously, and don’t mind waiting for the minute or so it might take for someone to enter or exit a vehicle. Some people must be in an almost permanent state of frustration in being unable to dictate the actions of others. You can only really change your own behaviour here, so why not try getting to school a bit earlier, so being delayed by not hitting people’s open car doors won’t be an issue? Or walking? Or taking a bus?

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 12:34

TheFatkinsDiet That's what we're talking about though. I think on a quiet road if you're careful it should be OK. What's crazy and I see fairly often is people doing this on main roads with fast traffic. They often take their time too. There's almost always a way to avoid doing this.

EspressoPatronum · 24/05/2018 12:34

Even if I could undo both car seats from the pavement side, neither of the children using the car seats in the back of my car can get out by themselves, and I can't lift the one year old or of the group 0+1 seat and over the two year olds erf seat. Even if I could I wouldn't be able to do it without taking the two year old out first and leaving them on the pavement while I did it. No chance said two year old would stand there patiently waiting for me to wrestle the one year old through the car over to car seats!

Not that I do school drop offs yet mind..

halcyondays · 24/05/2018 12:34

yanbu, we have two and would never have done this.

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 12:37

MoonFacesMum That's quite aggressive. Most school age children are trustworthy enough not to take off their seatbelt while driving. Obviously not all. I don't drive in the mornings so I'm not worried about the delay to my journey. I do see people acting in a way that is clearly unsafe (hanging around next to the car on a busy road, child by their side while they rummage around for book bags). This is crazy. There is no excuse for it. I also think that some basic consideration is in order. If you have no choice but to block the road while getting your child out, at least have the courtesy to be as quick as possible. It's just common sense.

EspressoPatronum · 24/05/2018 12:37

Soooo many typos 🤪 hopefully that still made sense!

TheFatkinsDiet · 24/05/2018 12:38

What's crazy and I see fairly often is people doing this on main roads with fast traffic.

Ah ok. No, that’s not me then. That is taking your life in your hands somewhat. Even getting out as an adult on a busy road like that can be quite scary.

cardeyscat · 24/05/2018 12:41

Not possible with one rear facing (huge) car seat and one forward facing one in the back.

TheBrilloPad · 24/05/2018 12:42

Yes I think the posters that can't understand why anyone can't just lean over must be thinking of just seatbelted seats. A big RF seat on either side with a 5 point harness, and it's impossible to do. Plus you can't have your roadside child then climbing over other child's car seat etc. Children in seats like that are typically too young to do that themselves.

Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean you should be incapable of understanding that for many cases, like me and Espresso above, going roadside and taking a child out is the only safe/possible option.

cadburyegg · 24/05/2018 12:51

I think yabu. I have a 12 week old baby whose car seat is behind my driver seat. Toddler’s ERF seat is passenger side. No way I can get baby over the ERF seat. Even if I could I’d have to get my toddler out first and leave him unsupervised on the pavement. So whilst I don’t do school runs yet, when I had to park on a road this morning I got baby out first in his car seat which I left safely on pavement whilst I took toddler out of car seat. I did wait for a clear road though.

I agree that drivers shouldn’t be driving like dickheads near a school!!

Pengggwn · 24/05/2018 12:51

I don't see why. The car door opens on roadside. Why shouldn't I use it?

Original poster

AjasLipstick · 24/05/2018 12:55

Fatkins If I get parked at all I’m grateful. They aren’t busy roads round the school though, if that makes a difference, so people rarely have to go round me.

Well then just park in one of the quieter roads?

OP posts:

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 13:02

They aren’t busy roads round the school though, if that makes a difference, so people rarely have to go round me.

To be clear on a quiet road I don't think it's an issue. It's not the end of the world if someone has to wait for 1 minute, but the busy roads are just crazy for this around one particular school near me (not my child's school or I'd probably write an email) and it's a safety issue rather than congestion one.

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