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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to say something to parents who DO this?

203 replies

AjasLipstick · 24/05/2018 09:41

At school drop off, there are quite a lot of parents who park on the side of the quite busy road (that's allowed) and then go INTO the road open the child's passenger door and stand there with their arses sticking out whilst they undo seatbelts and haul toddlers out.

Why don't they go onto the PATH side of the car and get them out there? Confused Yes they might have to kneel into the car a bit if the child is further towards the road side...but so what? They shouldn't be standing on roads and getting children out onto roads should they?

OP posts:
ikeepaforkinmypurse · 24/05/2018 13:09

TheBrilloPad

no, the safest way is not to leave a child on the pavement when you take of the other one, the safest way is to undo the harness of the child roadside FROM THE PAVEMENT SIDE, then undo the harness of the child pavement side and help them get out of the car safely.

No one is pretending there's any hope to change people's behaviour, again the school run is atrocious in term of common sense, politeness and basic intelligence really. It's just flabbergasting how bad some parents can be.

It also means that kids can't be allowed to walk themselves to school until they are much older, because some parents are a menace, and their selfish behaviour make stupid drivers do dangerous maneuvers. It doesn't matter who is most at fault, my own kids safety comes first.

Mousefunky · 24/05/2018 13:09

Maybe it was my DF’s fault but it wouldn’t be much of a consolation to the dead person had he ploughed into them in his artic lorry. Why run the risk being my overall point, not that my 20 year old DF made a driving mistake 30 years ago.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 24/05/2018 13:15

If you can't get your child out of a car safely PARK SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!!!

TheFatkinsDiet · 24/05/2018 13:21

Fatkins If I get parked at all I’m grateful. They aren’t busy roads round the school though, if that makes a difference, so people rarely have to go round me.

Well then just park in one of the quieter roads?

I already do? Think I already said this???

????????????? Grin

Sorry, I didn’t read thoroughly enough and didn’t realise that this was only people who do it on busy roads.

yorkshireyummymummy · 24/05/2018 13:26

Emu
Your braver than me. No way would I put my child in a car, next to a door that didn’t open knowing I was too disabled to reach over and get them out in case of an emergency.
And emergency’s happen to cars in a poor state of repair.
Maybe you should be looking up repair centres instead of being on mumsnet........

OP I totally agree with you. It fills me with horror, likewise when I see a buggy coming out between two parked cars, about two feet before a head appears to check if the road is clear. My ex’s father was a fireman. He saw some utterly horrific things involving kids, cars and careless parents. He still has nightmares twenty plus years later.
Always ask yourself, is it really worth it to save walking the extra 100m??

gerdinenisaf · 24/05/2018 13:36

Why the Highway Code insists we drive very slowly past schools during school time. Have car, own road never applies. We must abide by the HC.

smithsinarazz · 24/05/2018 13:43

Hey, even better, why don't we try to create safe and walkable streets so that our children don't run the risk of being bloody well killed every morning and afternoon?

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 24/05/2018 13:45

why don't we try to create safe and walkable streets

by banning all traffic you mean? It would be an issue for local residents, but otherwise I would love to see the face of some parents if they actually had to WALK for 45 seconds.
It would also create traffic jam and road rage at the borders of the safe zone unfortunately.

smithsinarazz · 24/05/2018 13:48

Haha! I take your point.
But not if we reprioritised our urban environments throughout so that children always had safe routes to walk and cycle. Then there wouldn't be a border of the safe zone..
The only reason why we allow ourselves to live in a situation where it's ok to drive heavy machinery, at speeds likely to kill, around places where kids (and adults) are likely to be walking - and then when people do get hurt, we say "Ah well, shit happens!" is because we're used to it.

Tinkobell · 24/05/2018 13:56

Pencil your concerns to the school and get them to print it in the weekly newsletter....."it has come to our attention blah blah blah........"

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 24/05/2018 13:57

I walk to school...maybe that's why I'm a bit judgemental. It's only a mile but I have neighbours who live two doors from me who coast along in cars and say "Oh it's too cold/hot/wet" it winds me up!

OP posts:
PratRocket · 24/05/2018 14:00

Two or 3 car seats means you can't do that.

Yes, exactly. I do them send them out the path side obviously but I have to stand there and assume people can actually watch their fucking driving.

PratRocket · 24/05/2018 14:03

y banning all traffic you mean? It would be an issue for local residents, but otherwise I would love to see the face of some parents if they actually had to WALK for 45 seconds.It would also create traffic jam and road rage at the borders of the safe zonenfortunately.

It would mean more buses and public transport routes and more walkers and therefore less traffic on the roads actually.

GabsAlot · 24/05/2018 14:07

sorry about your arse sticking out

youre lucky if u have an arse left doing that daily

TheBrilloPad · 24/05/2018 14:08

I'm attaching a pic of what my car looks like (pic not actually me!). If anyone thinks they could get all three kids out safely pavement side only, please tell me how, I'm all ears!

Loopyloopy · 24/05/2018 14:08

Smithsiniaaraz, great point! We build our lives around cars - footpaths etc always seem an afterthought.

flufffysockks · 24/05/2018 14:10

Sometimes it's unavoidable, more than 1 car seat, kids too young to help themselves out, parent can't fit past that other seat to lift the child out, etc...

But a lot of parents driving on the school run don't give 2 shits about anyone else or their surroundings. Shit and dangerous parking, doors flying open, parking where they shouldn't.

They should wait until traffic is clear to open the door and quickly remove the child and carry them to the pavement.

molehill79 · 24/05/2018 14:12

I have never even considered opening doors on the road side to be a problem - because if you park on the correct side of the road, surely the driver always needs to get out of the car on the road side??? So it only takes a few seconds longer to take a child out on that side too. Is it illegal to get out on the road side?!

AnnieAnoniMouser · 24/05/2018 14:14

Getting ALL of the children out on the pavement side is not possible for everyone, but it’s possible for the vast majority of people. I think many just don’t think to do it.

The 12 year old still scoots over to get out on the pavement side, even in our quiet street. It’s so drummed into her she’ll probably be doing it when she’s a driver 😂

AnnieAnoniMouser · 24/05/2018 14:22

Brillo. I’d probably be on that much Valium that I wouldn’t be safe to drive 😂🤣😂🤣

It’s definitely not always possible, but with a bit of thought it’s possible for the vast majority, especially when you’re doing a school run, because nearly all children of school age can get themselves across the car to the pavement side.

I think the real issue isn’t so much an adult getting a baby out of that side, so much as letting toddlers/children out that side.

RainbowFairiesHaveNoPlot · 24/05/2018 14:24

Mine are both in boosters so a bit easier - first one in from pavement side budges along to be behind the driver's seat, second one in gets in and gets belted in, book bags slung in passenger footwell and I go around, quickly belt in the drivers side child and jump in myself and go.

Best way I've found of working it so far - eldest can just about do up a seat belt but I still want to check it's done competently, younger one doesn't have the coordination or muscle strength to pull the belt across. Eldest's been trained to start to climb into the car seat from being a toddler upwards - narrow age gap and I'd rather have the mobile one inside the car with child locks on and me blocking the one open door while I'm sorting out the baby than anything else.

If you started coming over all fake concerned wanting to critique my parenting though you'd be told to fuck off.

FrankFrankSam · 24/05/2018 14:24

In some European countries accessing your car from the road, other than the drivers door, is illegal.

Living there I was a bit Hmm at first, i had to move the front passenger seat forward so that there was more room behind for DC to climb over other DC's chair. But now i am back in UK i still never access my car from the road unless i am getting in the drivers side. I think it is highly dangerous and crazy. On Britains mega cramped roads where most people actually park on the roads i think it is even more dangerous and crazy.

MrsKoala · 24/05/2018 14:35

We have 3 car seats across the back of a 7 seater and i couldn't lean across and undo the kids belts and get them out from the other side. My 5yo is in the middle and 1 yo on one side and 3 yo on the other behind the passenger seat. We have to have this configuration as the 3 yo pinches the babies face and tries to kick the driver. Sometimes we put him right at the back, but i still have to get him out that side as i wouldn't be able to remove the babies seat and strap it all back in again.

TrashPanda · 24/05/2018 14:43

I can't get all 3 kids out the passenger side of my car. Eldest goes in the front passenger seat and can do his own seat belt. If DP is in the car, eldest goes in the middle of the back from passenger side. Pre-schooler goes in the back passenger side in a 5 point harness seat he can't do up or undo, neither can eldest. He climbs in by himself but can't climb out without help. Youngest is 3 months and in a huge erf seat on an Isofix base with floor leg. This fills the entire space and cannot be squeezed past by eldest or pre-schooler. I can't physically climb over pre-schooler seat to get to erf seat from the passenger side no matter how far forward the front seats are. Eldest can climb over pre-schooler seat but can't do erf straps or lift baby out. Therefore baby is put in and taken out by me on road side if I have to park on the roadside which I try to avoid. I spent weeks trying to figure out a better way before baby was born as I had to be back on school runs within a week but couldn't figure anything better. The mobile children get out away from cars and the other one is with me as the largest and most visible person.

Lethaldrizzle · 24/05/2018 14:48

So it seems the forfeit for having multiple young children in back seats of big cars is just to park further away from the school. Simple