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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to say something to parents who DO this?

203 replies

AjasLipstick · 24/05/2018 09:41

At school drop off, there are quite a lot of parents who park on the side of the quite busy road (that's allowed) and then go INTO the road open the child's passenger door and stand there with their arses sticking out whilst they undo seatbelts and haul toddlers out.

Why don't they go onto the PATH side of the car and get them out there? Confused Yes they might have to kneel into the car a bit if the child is further towards the road side...but so what? They shouldn't be standing on roads and getting children out onto roads should they?

OP posts:
SoFake · 24/05/2018 10:41

TheOrigionalEmu
Well I can’t speak for anyone else. But I have a disability that means there is no way I could lean in like that and I have more than one child. —and my rear passenger side door doesn’t open

You could just park the other way around Unless you were in a one way street.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 24/05/2018 10:41

The school run is generally horrendous. Parents are being unbelievably stupid and lazy. They block drives, they park dangerously, they create danger for other children and their own, they drive too fast, they generally don't care.

Getting their kids on the wrong side of a busy road is only one of the ridiculous things they don't. I have no idea why they behave like that.

There are stupid people all around the world, I am not sure why school gates tend to attract or reveal so many of them. It's a miracle there are not more accidents near schools, but unfortunately they still happen. A little girl was killed around here in the last month, because of a combination of selfish and idiot drivers.

StorminaBcup · 24/05/2018 10:41

If the kids are going to school surely that can undo their own seatbelt and shifty across to the kerb side door? I do this with my two; one preschooler and a toddler.

I think the main point is to not park on a busy road close to the school where trying to get your kids out of the car becomes dangerous but that's a whole other bun fight.

roseblossom75 · 24/05/2018 10:41

I agree purplelass. I think they are worried about losing their parking space in the time it takes to turn round, so just get in there as quick as they can.
It's a nightmare outside our school. All beeping horns and waving arms.
Makes me appreciate the fact I can walk mine to school.

MrsHathaway · 24/05/2018 10:43

When I had very small children and one of school age we arranged the car seats so that the one who was capable of sorting his own seatbelt out was further away and the ones who needed lots of help were nearer. I would recommend that as a first step, but if your child spacing is closer than mine or your car smaller/less flexible with seating then you'd be fucked.

At our school the main problem is people ignoring the 20mph limit and the zebra crossing (even with children on it - one narrowly missed getting flattened by a TRACTOR).

MoonFacesMum · 24/05/2018 10:44

YABU

I have two rear facing car seats (safest option). It is physically impossible to get the roadside child out from the pavement side.

Pedestrians always have the right of way. It is the drivers responsibility not to hit people on the street. Not sure why that’s difficult?

positivepineapple · 24/05/2018 10:45

I was literally having this conversation with my DH last week.

I have a very busy lake/park on my commute and I see this all the time. It's a busy road, a bus route, a cycle route and has multiple side roads and driveways, plus cars parked both side. Yet people still do it.

I just don't understand why, if you can (disabilities aside) that you wouldn't park elsewhere, so you can get out/put in your children on the pavement side.

It happens far to often for there to be genuine reasons every time. Mostly it's because the parking space is closer to the ice cream van/entry - whatever.

I know if I hit them it would be my fault, but that's no consolation to them. Drivers are not perfect and don't see everything. I wouldn't put mine or my children's life at risk for the sake of convenience.

Btw - I have the same issue with zebra crossings, people that just stroll out into the middle of the road with no warning.

Not all drivers are equal and drive with the required care and attention. You're putting yours and your children's safety in the hands of some unknown person in a giant lump of metal. Just because you can't be bothered to wait and check you have been acknowledged.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 24/05/2018 10:47

I found it annoying when I was walking the dc to school and a car had blocked the whole path with their car doors, fiddling about with car seats, book folders and then leaning on the open door to have a chat with a mum friend.
Some people are just oblivious to anyone around them I think.

I know not everyone can walk to school but I wish more people would!

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 10:50

Pedestrians always have the right of way. It is the drivers responsibility not to hit people on the street. Not sure why that’s difficult?

Of course a car should always attempt to stop for a pedestrian but that doesn't mean pedestrians don't have a responsibility to behave sensibly. (If someone walks out into the road without looking of course I'll attempt to avoid hitting them, that person is still in the wrong).

If you're doing the school drop off surely you have at least one school age child who can get out of their own car seat?

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 10:50

Or you could park further from the school in a quieter spot.

Lizzie48 · 24/05/2018 10:53

You're absolutely right that you should always let your children out of the car onto the pavement not onto the road. It's common sense. We have child locks as well so they can't open the doors themselves, which is extra protection against the unexpected happening.

And whilst it would always be the driver's fault, as a PP said, this isn't about whose fault it is but about safety.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 24/05/2018 11:00

Or you could park further from the school in a quieter spot
Some parents are unable to walk 2 steps because they are too lazy for it, sadly nothing will change that.

This has nothing do do with disability, not wanting to is a world away from not being able to.

HerFemaleness · 24/05/2018 11:06

~Of course you can undo both car seats from one side. I never got my children out the road side.

I was just going to say this. You'd have to have teeny tiny T-rex arms to not be able to do this.

Carolynnnna · 24/05/2018 11:10

Or even better, walk your kids to school and stop being a major contributor to the massive air pollution problem!

TheyCanGoInTheBucket · 24/05/2018 11:11

For those that have their kids in extended rear facing for safety - are you not sacrificing an element of safety due to the fact that one child will always have to get out on the roadside? Surely that defeats the point of added safety features.

birdonawire1 · 24/05/2018 11:13

Yanbu. I always park down a side road and ensure the door opens at the pavement. I would feel so unsafe otherwise

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 24/05/2018 11:16

Most of them probably live within walking distance, so precisely why they don't walk to school should also be on your agenda.

PearsandCustard · 24/05/2018 11:19

theycangointhebucket
No, because it becomes about risk (i.e. the liklihood of an event compromising safety occurring combined with the impact of that event occurring). The amount of time spent in a car driving vs the amount of time exiting the car on the roadside makes it far more likely that a collision will occur whilst driving. The impact of a collision whilst driving is also likely to be greater. Personally I'll take my chances releasing my child on the roadside, which I do only after I've made sure the road is quiet and I do quickly whilst holding said child and transporting them to the pavement side as quick as possible. Yes, it's a risk, but not as great a risk as a forward facing seat at this stage.

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 11:22

Some parents are unable to walk 2 steps because they are too lazy for it, sadly nothing will change that.

I do know people like that. One parent blocked my drive with my car in it so I couldn't get out to go to work. When I confronted her about it she said "well it's sports day there's nowhere else to park". 1) Not my problem I need to get to work 2) There are always places to park, they're just more than a 5 minute walk to the school.

Thishatisnotmine · 24/05/2018 11:26

Our toddler is on the passenger side, infant car seat on the driver's. One has to come out on the road, at the moment we favour the infant seat but one day they both will need to be belted in the car. It is unavoidable, you just have to be aware of everything around you.

They are driven to nursey as it is a few miles away. I bring them home on the bus. Some people need to drive their children.

FullOfJellyBeans · 24/05/2018 11:28

PearsandCustard I don't agree with your assessment. If your child got hit out of the car on the main road the collision is likely to be far worse than a collision in which they're strapped into a forward facing car seat. I find it hard to believe that there is no side road within walking distance of the school people couldn't stop at if they really have to get their child out onto the road. Doing that on a busy road is just crazy.

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/05/2018 11:39

Yes, the lack of consideration astounds me. There are a couple of small car parks close to dds School but people still want to be as close as possible. Even parking in disabled bays, which gives me the rage.

MrsHathaway · 24/05/2018 11:44

Of course you can undo both car seats from one side. I never got my children out the road side.

I was just going to say this. You'd have to have teeny tiny T-rex arms to not be able to do this.

I have a 4x4 (countryside, towing) and can barely reach across a booster without some climbing. A fixed RF seat (eg 0+1) would make it impossible for me to reach the nearest clicker, let alone the furthest. It would have been very easy in my old Focus, but not in the tank.

I am pretty short though.

Queenie8 · 24/05/2018 11:47

Emu if one of your rear passenger doors doesn't open is your car legally road worthy? Would your car pass its MOT? If not, get it fixed ASAP, if you are in an accident then you will not be able to get your child out of the car if the impact is on the working side.

Failure to stop at a zebra crossing is an instant fail for your driving test, the highway code says you must stop.

Why cannot the child in car seats on the road side shuffle across and exit on the pavement?

I echo everyone else, park safely further away and walk the last section.

PearsandCustard · 24/05/2018 11:50

fullofjellybeans that's fine, you disagree all you like dear.