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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to say something to parents who DO this?

203 replies

AjasLipstick · 24/05/2018 09:41

At school drop off, there are quite a lot of parents who park on the side of the quite busy road (that's allowed) and then go INTO the road open the child's passenger door and stand there with their arses sticking out whilst they undo seatbelts and haul toddlers out.

Why don't they go onto the PATH side of the car and get them out there? Yes they might have to kneel into the car a bit if the child is further towards the road side...but so what? They shouldn't be standing on roads and getting children out onto roads should they?

OP posts:

MrsKoala · 24/05/2018 14:50

Oh god. I'd never drive to school! I just mean in general i couldn't get them out. I'd have no nerves left if i tried to drive around all the children darting in the road around me.

alwaysthepessimist · 24/05/2018 14:50

I always go and turn around so that my DD gets out on the path side of the car - it takes a minute to do it - it is far too dangerous to do it roadside

minipie · 24/05/2018 14:55

My two are 5 and 3. It's only in the past few months that I've felt comfortable in getting both kids out on the pavement side. Before that it wasn't an option - first DD2 wasn't capable of climbing over (baby age) and even once she could, would have preferred to climb into the driver's seat to play with the buttons instead. Also DD1 has only recently been trustworthy to stay on the pavement unsupervised while I unclip DD2.

In summary if your roadside child is under 3 or your pavement side child is 4 or under, it can be more risky getting them both out pavement side, than getting them each out their own side and holding on to them. Depends on their personalities of course!

I love the idea that people should choose a parking space according to which way it faces . Round here you could be driving round and round the school for ages if you were to be so picky. Which would cause far more extra traffic issues than opening the road side door for a few moments.

TrashPanda · 24/05/2018 14:58

Further away from school doesn't necessarily mean not roadside though. My eldest's school is on a small estate with a parade of 5 shops that have no car park and the rest is residential roads. The only non roadside parking is driveways which are obviously not suitable for me to use At my house I have a parking space in a car park and nursery has a car park so it's only school for 3 pick ups a week where I have to do this. I also don't have a big car, which is why I can't squeeze past seats, I'd have more space if it was bigger.

QuizzlyBear · 24/05/2018 14:58

I agree it's not intelligent behaviour but I have the opposite problem - we live down a cul de sac near two secondary schools and the SAME woman parks outside our house every day to pick up her daughter.

Despite the being no through traffic I hear her encourage her daughter to enter the car on the 'house side' every day, trampling our flower beds and kicking our bushes on her way in. It gives me the rage but I rarely make it out in time to tell her off.

Luckily my lovely but mouthy 16-year old neighbour gave her an earful on my behalf yesterday! Doubt it'll do any good... 🤬

sashh · 24/05/2018 15:42

I have two children, both in extended rear facing seats, and there is no way I could reach across and safely release the child on the roadside from their seat to get them out of the pavement side.

Could you put on in the front?

Jux · 24/05/2018 15:48

Never get children out the road side, always get them out on the lavement side. That was the unspoken rule when I was a child in the 60s. Only idiots did otherwise. It might be a little less easy to do but why risk being hit? It's bonkers. And it seems particularly bonkers that you have your child strapped into a car seat for SAFETY and then get them out on the road side. Mental.

TrashPanda · 24/05/2018 16:47

Jux It's not a little more difficult. For me with the children, car and seats I have it's impossible. I have done what I can to mitigate the risk by not getting mobile children out that side. In the 60s there were probably less car seats to fit round so sliding across was easier.

GabsAlot · 24/05/2018 18:10

people sayu its no possible what would you do if it was made illegal like some parts of europe

EspressoPatronum · 24/05/2018 18:32

Feck knows gabsalot, but it's not illegal here so...

@ikeepaforkinmypurse -
no, the safest way is not to leave a child on the pavement when you take of the other one, the safest way is to undo the harness of the child roadside FROM THE PAVEMENT SIDE, then undo the harness of the child pavement side and help them get out of the car safely.

Please could you explain how to do that when the seats in the back are erf and have a one year old and a two year old in??

HmmGrey · 25/05/2018 17:34

OP, whats your thoughts on putting the child back in the car?

1MorePiece · 25/05/2018 17:43

I agree with OP when there is another option. However had to comment as I have DD2 in front seat as she requires a specialist car seat due to a disability and won’t fit in the back. DD1 sits in her carseat in the back. As it’s a 3 door I can’t pull seat forward on passenger side for DD1 to get out so I park with DD2 to pavement then I have to get out into road and DD1 walks round car to pavement where I get DD2. Also have to open passenger door further as need more room to angle DD2 so this is our safest option. I’d love someone to make a comment to me while I’m doing it and would see if they could figure out a better way!

Bekstar · 25/05/2018 17:52

We go as early as possible to get the kids out, we drive 5-6 kids as a pool car but they all get out on the side of the pavement. I use a wheelchair so can't lean across but the older kids can let themselves out, and help younger ones. On the odd occasion I have struggled I have just stopped another parent or teacher and asked for help. I would never open on road side the road outside our school is narrow as it is. Most cars wouldn't be able to open their door because there is always a traffic jam going up the other way, they then turn round at end and pull up and drop off. If we are early enough then we use the community centre car park next door who are happy for school drop offs to be made. However there are only enuff spaces for 8 cars.

Cardiganqueen71 · 25/05/2018 18:04

Try living in a road with a school in it... and it’s a private one full of terribly entitled parents. Law unto themselves, park anywhere they like and the bloody traffic wardens ignore them. Get your kids onto buses and out of cars!

PeakPants · 25/05/2018 18:07

Brillo I would lean in over and unclip the belt and lift child on the far side over the other two. Not easy but possible. Sorry, but you're an idiot if you put your and your children's lives at risk, especially on a road with fast-moving traffic. No car is so huge that you cannot climb inside it, even if it's not the easiest thing. It's also not wise to teach children that it's okay to open the car door and get out into the road.

Also, what kind of idiot drives around in a car with a door that doesn't open for the person who said that about her passenger-side. Not only are you putting your kids at risk offloading them into a road (and teaching them that that's okay) but you are driving them in a defective vehicle that could put them at added risk in an accident.

Turquoise123 · 25/05/2018 18:07

Totally with you

Yes of course for some people it's more difficult ( type of car, height etc etc) but your point is totally valid and for most people it's just not a big issue.

What really makes my jaw drop is when people do this on darkish mornings/afternoons when they are wearing dark colours and of course the inside of most doors is black - they really can't be seen. Why on earth would you do this unless you really had no choice ?

Karenza0310 · 25/05/2018 18:07

I personally think it's lazy.. if you can't find a safe place to remove your child from the car then you should find a less busy road. What would happen if the person driving past paid attention to something else and hit them.

BlueEyedBengal · 25/05/2018 18:09

I have a Kia Sedona with sliding doors to take my 4 school age children to school but sometimes use my husbands Kia Sportage. The school is on a very busy main road and people pay no attention to the speed limit I always get the kids out on the pavement side, stretching over to reach whoever is on the far side. It's too dangerous the road side. It's bad enough crossing the road as they don't care , just rush, rush, rush.

Olive324 · 25/05/2018 18:12

Sorry, but with a rear facing massive baby/ toddler seat, there’s no way you can get both out on the same side. There isn’t any room to get the older child past the baby seat!

SleepFreeZone · 25/05/2018 18:18

It would be very difficult to get both kids out pavement side with our car seats however not impossible. Fortunately where my school is the roads are very wide and not particularly busy so I feel safe getting my five year old in and out on the road side.

PeakPants · 25/05/2018 18:21

Sorry, but with a rear facing massive baby/ toddler seat, there’s no way you can get both out on the same side. There isn’t any room to get the older child past the baby seat!

How big is the child? Can you not lift him/her over the baby seat? I mean fair enough if you want to risk serious injury for yourself and DC, but it's very very unsafe unloading from the traffic-side, plus sends a message to the kids that it's okay to get out that side too. I bet you would magically find a way if you were on a road with very fast-moving traffic...

Thespringsthething · 25/05/2018 18:28

I saw someone do this exact thing yesterday and it gave me a heart attack- the toddler was placed in the road, with cars going passed and not being shielded or held by the parents. I slowed right down, stared hard and the mum then put her arm out to get the girl. Horrible, just totally unnecessary. Only one child and two stupid parents in one car!

PeakPants · 25/05/2018 18:33

I saw someone do this exact thing yesterday and it gave me a heart attack- the toddler was placed in the road, with cars going passed and not being shielded or held by the parents.

Fucking hell. There really is no cure for stupid.

Lilacwine1 · 25/05/2018 18:37

Regardless of how many car seats there are, or which side they are on, your child's safety must be paramount. You do not get your child out of the car where they are in danger of being knocked over. I live on a road where parents park, to take children to school, I've lost count of the number of times a child has run across the road as soon as they are out of the car.

manicmij · 25/05/2018 19:00

If there are 3 kids in seats in the back surely the most able will be on the road side, less able in middle and needing more help at pavement side. Madness to open door, stand there to release child all on roadway.

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