DSD friend coming over on my night off AIBU?

[Notdamama]

DP feels he is competing with his ex over SD. It’s a never ending battle of black mail from mothers side & emotional distress. She only has one DD, whereas DP has 2 DC’s with me. Mother is ill & uses this as weapon to pull DD towards her. Constant ‘I miss you. I hate it when you leave me’. Never ending FaceTime (oops lost/broke charger happens regularly). DSD is staying at ours on Friday night, she is 12. She has complained that she always has a friend over on Friday & has been a mardy bum as she still wants to see friend on Friday. So DP has said she can come to our house - without asking me if that’s ok. I don’t think it’s ok. I don’t have many evenings at home in the evening. My favourite thing about being at home is that I can get my nighty on and relax, as soon as I know I am done for the day. I’m cross as now we will have a stranger in the house. I won’t be able to relax, then the parents will be coming along to collect friend, more strangers. He didn’t think I’d have a problem but I really do. I wished I was working. AIBU?

Sounds like you don't like ds much.

What has her mother missing her have anything to do with the friend staying over with ds at yours? Have I missed something??

*dsd

Let her dad deal with everything Eg answering the door to the parents, talking to the parents, making their food, running around finding phone chargers, getting the wifi password for her friend, telling them to be quiet when it's late, etc...
It's his daughter and he's invited her friend round so he can be the one who makes all the effort.
You put your pjs on and chill.

After that gracious update I really hope you get to relax and recharge and your DSD is able to have a lovely night with her friend.

I do hope you’re not heading for burn out, take care of yourself

I don't think you're selfish at all. I completely understand. I have a very difficult situation at home with step son and we should be allowed to call our home a home and have a say in what goes on under our roof!!