Stinky visitor

[HasPegOnNose]

I have a (distant) relative staying for almost 2 weeks.

We are 1 week in and he is refusing to wash. He stinks and is making my house stink. There is a horrible musty sweaty smell about him and the room he is trashing at my house.

His clothes are also filthy. I ask him for his laundry and he gives me a bunch of stuff while still wearing the stained shirt he had on yesterday. It has a good stain in the middle of the front.

There is a greasy circle on the pillow where I imagine his (unwashed) head has gone. The room stinks, literally stinks

Also he is rude to my friends and ungrateful.

He seems to be treating me like a hotel, putting in food orders as he never likes what we are eating. I have gone out of my way to check what he wants but he still makes snide comments and looks unenthusiastic.

The other day he said he liked egg, (I'd checked he liked egg before making the sandwiches, I hate egg but got some especially for him.) When I was making the sandwiches he wandered in and says that's not for me us it... I don't like egg in sandwiches!

I am fuming & at my wits end...Counting down the days until he leaves.

He has been before and never gave me so much as a bunch of flowers or card as a thank you gift. Thankfully it was not at the height of summer and it stayed a few days, I don't think he showered then either but the smell was not as bad.

I was a bit then...but he is definitely never coming again!

I have name changed in case this gets picked up by the Daily Fail: but it is all true and I cannot believe the rudeness and cheek of anyone who would act this way.

I hope I am not BU here- but you know, it never hurts to check on MN!

Lets pretend he doesnt smell and keeps himself clean. He is still a nasty disrespectful twat. I wouldnt dream of making demands around meals (well I would cos I'm vegan but I would buy and eat my own food) I mean a normal person would eat what you're having and actually be thankful about it. They would also voice gratitude about being put up. This isn't the odd night it is 2 full weeks. You must have the patience of a saint as I would have snapped by day 2 of his awful attitude.

You haven’t really addressed Uncle Hoy’s comments, i.e. Brian is elderly & vulnerable, this is the 3rd or 4th time he’s stayed with you, his issues are well known in the family so you knew what to expect.
If this is correct then why did you let him stay again & then make him leave?

Madhugger - yep you gave him bang to rights!

Vegan - spot on also. Not a scintilla of gratitude, nothing. No apparent awareness of how much he would have otherwise had to spend on accommodation (at £60 per night, min) It's just not how to behave is it?

When I stay with friends (I've never imposed for longer than a few days...) I calculate what my accommodation would have cost me in a hotel or b&b, and make sure I repay them, either in gifts or paying towards food etc, to the value of at least 50% of that.

Spermy: I know uncle hoy IRL and they have such a dislike / distaste of Brian that they refuse even to be in the same room if him or talk to him.

UnckeHoy is just playing devil's advocate. I have explained upthread why I've had Brian back... and yes ok, I made a bad judgement (although he's never been this bad before). He seems to get worse, ruder, meaner ' more entitled every time.

Also, I think it's reasonable for me to change my mind and say enough is enough. I have put up with him for the full 2 weeks (bar the last 2 days).

Also spermy- he's not too elderly or vulnerable to get himself to the airport & on a transatlantic flight all by himself...

OP that's very true re flight- when my FIL had dementia he would refuse to wash, but in no way could he have even considered a transatlantic flight - he couldn't even stay at his DD's house it was too confusing for him.

So although when I first read this I did think of FIL and dementia, I agree that if he does it can only be very mildly.

I think you have the patience of a saint! to help make your house more fragrant.

Thank you Elfride.

Brian is still here sprawled in the sofa watching tv without scare in the world / as if nothing is amiss.

Check in at his hotel is 11am. DP is dropping him around soon so will have to tell him to pack.

If it was me I would have been gone by now, but there you go...

And hopefully, his departure will enable you to change your Username - well, maybe in a few days time. 😷😀

Good for you, OP!

People need to stop bitching about what the OP is replacing/how much things cost.

Thanks.
Yes I'll be glad to revert back to my normal username & resume MN service as normal

This does sound so awful. It will be a great relief for you.
One suggestion - when cleaning up / washing after he has left, use white vinegar in the rinse cycle on the washing machine. It's a great way to did rid of rank body odours and may help. You can also use it in the washing powder section of the washing machine on a hot wash to clean the drum.

I bet you’re counting down the seconds. Did you know him in younger years? Has he always been like this? Poor you having to clear up after him. 😷🤢

Has he gone yet?

I'm a very scruffy housewife, but even I would feel the need for a massive clean-up/throw-out after having a guest like this.

Has he gone yet?

His family are really out of order they must know what he is like?.

Gosh, i'd be tempted tojust move house altogether!

(didn't bring change of underwear or any toiletries..)

I can't even imagine. And I stand by my earlier comment that his family should have dealt with this. I'll be interested to read what they say if and when you receive a response from them.

OP, you've been so much more patient than I would have been. Glad for you that you got him to leave.

Has he gone?

Yes he's gone! 🎉🍾

Yeh!!! No 💩 allowed 👍👋

I dropped him at his hotel this morning and said: 'bye Brian, hope you have a pleasant journey home. I won't see you tomorrow as DP will be taking you to the station' (I now have another appointment..)

Brian stomped off to his hotel without so much as a backward glance or thank you.

Clearly he's greatly offended that I've had the temerity to ask him to leave MY house because of HIS prolonged and blatant failure to abide by very reasonable house rules. Still no acknowledgement of what I've done for him, all the trouble & expense incurred, not to mention tolerance of his dirt. I didn't really expect any thanks- but am seething at his cheek: talk about adding insult to injury! He evidently feels I OWE him and his repugnant habits free & uncomplaining board & lodging.

However at least I've ensured I'll hopefully never have to entertain him again!

If he's a distant relation then how come he's staying with you? Has he been thrown out of a Bail Hostel for his extreme personal (lack of) hygiene habits and the Probation Service just dumped him on you out of the blue?

Gosh, but it's going to cost you a fortune in cleaning products when he's gone.......

Actually, accept it as one of life's learning experiences the cut your losses and hire Rentokil immediately he's vanished!!!!

Chuck him out!! X