Step DD and Rent

[YellowPansy23]

Currently step DD doesn’t pay rent. She gives us £50-£100 a month, pays her own phone, most of her food, etc... and is saving for uni.

DH says he doesn’t want her paying rent as if we charge her anymore it eats into her savings and we will end up giving her money for uni. So if she saves it instead of giving it to us for rent we are saving ourselves money in the future.

She is a good girl, helps around the house, her bedroom is spotless. She doesn’t stay out late, she’s respectful of our home and we have a good relationship. She is 20.

However I can’t help but feel she should pay more rent! We are not well off, but we have enough money to get by and see the odd film and go on a small holiday once a year. Step DD genuinely saves her money.

She’s off to Uni in September.

So who is BU? Me or DH?

YANBU. I paid my mum £250pm as soon as I got my first full time (minimum wage) job.

She'll have savings and a student loan, she should pay £200 rent at least.

I paid £120.00 per month whilst working FT, thought it was a lot when I was at home. Now over £800 on bills. She choses to reside there.

I agree it sounds like she is already paying a reasonable amount, plus she is being sensible and saving for uni not many 18 year olds do that!! I would also take the view that if she is off to uni in 3/4 months is it really worth rocking the boat for an extra £3/400 just for that period? Plus you will still be struggling when she leaves again. I would also expect your daughter to pay the same as SD, an apprenticeship pays a lot less than a normal full time job however she isn't saving for uni so I think the £50-100 plus food bits etc would be fair.

My children are a way off uni yet but DS aged 6 has already expressed he wants to be a pilot! (May well change haha) but the money needed for that is a lot! I would never dream of charging my children a huge amount if they are being sensible enough to save for their future, perhaps a different story if they were out drinking and partying the money away - then perhaps I would take a nominal amount to put away for their future so it wasn't all wasted but they are still young and entitled to have fun and not have to worry about money - to earn your first few months wages is amazing!

I perhaps have a different view on this as my mum moved when I was 18 and I was basically forced to move out with my partner (or move 500 odd miles away to another country where I knew no one and leave my brother and Dad also) - we couldn't afford it (he was working but I was at uni) and it has taken us a good few years to get ourselves straight and we are still having to rent, if we had been given the chance to stay at home like my brother and many friends have had we could of been laughing now as we could saved a deposit and brought a house before the properties here doubled (Greater London) as it stands it's going to take us a good few more years to generate a deposit high enough for us to be able to afford a mortgage.

Don't be mean just because you think you can.

It's hard.. I personally wouldn't charge my kids.. however my Partner feels that when his kids reach of age he would charge them rent, which if he wants to charge the girls I will let him.. but I won't ever charge my boys as it's their home.

I am presuming she has moved in full time? Recently?? If it's recently maybe look at how much your bills have gone up and then maybe sit down with her and your daughter and come up with a agreement as to what is acceptable from them both. Especially if the step daughter has just moved in then yes she needs to contribute tinwhat the bills have increased. She is a adult they need to learn. Perhaps suggest they have to share and you downsize? And it doesn't make you any less of a parent not helping with uni fees, I actually think kids get given too much to them on a plate they need to earn it. Xxx

Plus to add, talking at a step parent whatever you say on here you will get bashed, I learnt from experience. Hope yoh get on ok. I always noticed a massive difference when it was just me and my ex husband we paid £40 a month electric, and even now with a 3.5 year old I pay £40 but the weekends we had my step daughters we would be paying nearly £60! They drain the electric something chronic and as we pay as you go we could see that the massive rise was then. They have little respect for turning of lights or will sit with her tablet in charge all day even though it's charged. Do what's right for you and your family. Look at their earnings together, work out costs and go from there xx