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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder wtf I should say?

158 replies

Istolethisusername · 20/05/2018 11:36

When I had my daughter my SIL (married to partners brother) brought round a big suitcase of clothes and a Moses basket for us. Nothing fancy, just your standard supermarket/high street stuff.

Me and partner split up, her and her dh divorced and we both moved away and lost touch.

I’ve just had a Facebook friend request and message from her - her eldest daughter has just had a dd and she would like all the stuff back she gave us.

Trouble is, my daughter is now 15 and I gave it all away to the charity shop years ago.

She never specified it was a loan, never asked for it back at any time, and I’m a bit perplexed that she has assumed that I have stored it all these years (I gave all my baby stuff away years ago)

Was I wrong to get rid of it?

How do I reply?

OP posts:
WatchingFromTheWings · 20/05/2018 13:24

She gave them to you. That meant they were yours to do with as your saw for once you'd finished with them. I'd go with @NoSquirrels bit also remove the 'I assumed' bit.

Then block.

WatchingFromTheWings · 20/05/2018 13:25

'As you saw fit' that should say.

VanGoghsDog · 20/05/2018 13:27

You could just say "ask (ex's name) as he might have kept it all when we split up. If not, I'm sure hell be happy to pay you what a pile of ancient third hand clothes is worth".

Then just block her.

boilerhouse2007 · 20/05/2018 13:29

''Who keeps baby stuff for 15 years??? And I seriously doubt it ad worth £500 even brand new ''

i think id try and make a joke of this-either recommend her to a good lawyer or a bailiff company or if that fails recommend her to mental health professional because she sounds like she has lost it. I borrowed my friend Romeo and Juliet video in 1999, imagine I rang today looking for it back?? Friend also borrowed me Huge Hits 1996 cds in 1997, again if he rang me looking for them now i would think he had cracked.

KevinTurvey · 20/05/2018 13:31

Unfriend her.

LionAllMessy · 20/05/2018 13:31

She asked for money!

Well, that's me told! Clearly mumsnet knows a CF when they see one.

I'd honestly just block and ignore. Don't see the point of escalating the situation with somebody who's obviously a complete tit.

cc5601 · 20/05/2018 13:32

blimey, how ridiculous. block and ignore.

SuitedandBooted · 20/05/2018 13:33

I understand what PP are saying about keeping a family Moses basket, but I seriously doubt this was one.You have both been of each others radar - you all divorced and lost touch.
If it was a treasured family item, surely she would have recovered it when you and DP split up?

And there's no way she gave you £500 worth of stuff - she needs to look at the prices for secondhand baby clothes etc on Ebay!

Wellonlyifihaveto · 20/05/2018 13:33

Block, block, block!

Orangecake123 · 20/05/2018 13:34

That you no longer have the items.

FoxySamanthaPetersonTheCat · 20/05/2018 13:34

I like suggestion from plantlover. charge the cheeky cow for storage and call it quits.

VanGoghsDog · 20/05/2018 13:35

@boilerhouse - you borrowed them, it's different and you should have given them back!

AnneProtheroe · 20/05/2018 13:36

Unfriend her and block. Don't pay her batshittery any more attention.

honeysucklejasmine · 20/05/2018 13:37

Lol! As if. I'd just reply to the point: oh dear, does your DD want 15 year old clothes then? I shouldn't think even charity shops have clothes that old these days.

They were a gift, not a loan. Too bad.

SuitedandBooted · 20/05/2018 13:38

Just seen you actually moved away - why did she think you would be lugging a load of unneeded baby stuff around with you, just so you could keep it for her future grandchild? Confused

MirriVan · 20/05/2018 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MeinNameistMud · 20/05/2018 13:40

"Hi CF

Well the average rate of storage is £2.80 pcm per square foot so 15 years of storing approx 10 sqft of your things comes in at £5040.
So we can knock off the £500 value as a gesture of goodwill leaving the remaining balance at £4540

Dont forget to select "Friends and Family" on PayPal Smile

From Me xx"

boilerhouse2007 · 20/05/2018 13:43

''VanGoghsDog you borrowed them, it's different and you should have given them back!''

you are missing the point, the same friend borrowed r a j from me and other cds and vice versa but this was 20 years ago and over time we lost touch so if today he rang me looking for the stuff back i'd think it was crazy. Everyboody has borrowed stuff to a mate before at some stage and not returned it and vice versa but to look for it back almost 2 decades later is just nuts.

Jammycustard · 20/05/2018 13:43

Definitely refer her to your ex. She can get £500 off of him.
What. A. Loon.

Jammycustard · 20/05/2018 13:45

Also, that Moses basket was hardly a family heirloom if she’s never mentioned it before.

Gemini69 · 20/05/2018 13:45

I would take the greatest pleasure tell her her to Fuck Right Off and then simply Block Grin

underneaththeash · 20/05/2018 13:46

I wouldn't engage with her at all.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 20/05/2018 13:46

How old is the pregnant daughter? Could it be an unexpected pregnancy which has caused her serious problems financially and emotionally?
She's still batshit obviously, but is it possible that she is desperate and clutching at straws rather than just grasping and awful?

MirriVan · 20/05/2018 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

The80sweregreat · 20/05/2018 13:48

This thread takes the CF to a new level.