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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder wtf I should say?

158 replies

Istolethisusername · 20/05/2018 11:36

When I had my daughter my SIL (married to partners brother) brought round a big suitcase of clothes and a Moses basket for us. Nothing fancy, just your standard supermarket/high street stuff.

Me and partner split up, her and her dh divorced and we both moved away and lost touch.

I’ve just had a Facebook friend request and message from her - her eldest daughter has just had a dd and she would like all the stuff back she gave us.

Trouble is, my daughter is now 15 and I gave it all away to the charity shop years ago.

She never specified it was a loan, never asked for it back at any time, and I’m a bit perplexed that she has assumed that I have stored it all these years (I gave all my baby stuff away years ago)

Was I wrong to get rid of it?

How do I reply?

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 20/05/2018 13:08

Tell her it’s rude to ask for a gift back and that you’ll not be paying her a thing.

Or tell her to ‘fuck off’ which is what I’d do.

hammeringinmyhead · 20/05/2018 13:10

She bloody is grasping at the mention of £500!

bellabelly · 20/05/2018 13:10

Oh, corss-post! I see I was being naive!!

piknmixer · 20/05/2018 13:11

She's batshit Shock

I'd reply along the lines of "I'm amazed you expected to have kept second hand items that you gave to me, with no mention of wanting them back, for 15 years. Not only that but that you think I should pay for them all this time later? I did think it would be nice for us to be back in touch with one another but obviously not."

Then block.

category12 · 20/05/2018 13:11

You say "er no mistake, you gifted these items to me 15 years ago." and block.

Chickychoccyegg · 20/05/2018 13:12

Omg, what a cheek she's got. Just completely ignore her, block her even, if she was that bothered about the stuff she would've got it all off you at least 14 years ago!

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 20/05/2018 13:12

I can’t believe her cheek after 15 years!

GlitteryFluff · 20/05/2018 13:13
Shock
TwitterQueen1 · 20/05/2018 13:13

£500!!!!! I don't believe that for one minute. And it was second-hand anyway (because she gave it to you). Please don't give this a second thought OP. She is being completely ridiculous and has absolutely no grounds to demand anything from you!

Just block and ignore. Don't respond because the more you engage the more she will keep on at you. You owe her nothing so don't let her bully you into thinking otherwise.

NoSquirrels · 20/05/2018 13:15

I'd reply and say

Gosh - sorry you're disappointed. I assumed you gave it to us as you had no more use for it. If you wanted it back you should have said years ago. It wasn't a mistake - I couldn't store baby gear long-term. We'll both have to chalk this up to a misunderstanding, I'm afraid.

Then if she can't be reasonable just block her.

FuckPants · 20/05/2018 13:15

Tell her to fuck off.

category12 · 20/05/2018 13:16

Take out the "I assumed" bit of nosquirrels' answer.

EspressoButler · 20/05/2018 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 20/05/2018 13:20

Excellent answer nosquirrels, and I agree with category12 - take out the “I assumed”.

Rocinante1 · 20/05/2018 13:21

Id have no problem with you getting rid of the clothes, but I agree with her about the Moses basket.
Those are often passed down through family; The one I used has had every baby in it over the past 4 generations. It gets given to babies born into the family, and no one ever says "i want this back", because everyone knows you don't get rid of the family Moses basket. A piece of furniture like that should not have been thrown away. I'd apologise for that, and offer to replace. But the clothes... they'd possinly be threadbear/motheaten and just not suitable unless kept very carefully so she's being silly about that.

LongWalkShortPlank · 20/05/2018 13:21

Tell her that of course the mistake should be rectified, and that you'll knock £500 off what she owes you for storage costs for 15 years. Grin

boilerhouse2007 · 20/05/2018 13:22

''There were over £500 worth of clothes and accessories altogether, that I cannot afford to replace. Nor should I have to.

How do you suggest we rectify your mistake?''

Sounds like one of them bizarre cases you would hear on judge Judy. Under no circumstances pay her this money and explain your situation that 15 years ago is a very long time ago. If you feel it is right try and build bridges [though after this i'd be iffy] but do not entertain this nonsense.

Cagliostro · 20/05/2018 13:23

😂 I’d just say there was no mistake, they’d made no indication it was a long term loan.

stephiewoo · 20/05/2018 13:23

Blimey the cheeky mare! Tell her jog on and block her, that's so rude!!!

buddhasbelly · 20/05/2018 13:23

I'd be tempted to ask if she's factoring in inflation for her £500 quote Grin

But no. Don't engage. My ex's mum gave us a bunch of stuff before dd was born... We broke up (domestic violence on his part, went to court etc).They demandes all the stuff back. Including the light shade, curtains (and pole!) And dd's cot...

The moral to this story. Some people are nuts (i discovered months later that the curtain pole which had to come back as they had another family baby on the way, that half of the pole was left behind. Very small karma).

witchofzog · 20/05/2018 13:23

I like nosquirrels answer too. She is definitely batshit. Who keeps baby stuff for 15 years??? And I seriously doubt it ad worth £500 even brand new Hmm

DextroDependant · 20/05/2018 13:23

Oh gutted she beat me too it. I knew she was going to ask you to replace it.

Just say you depreciated the asset at £33 per year and as such the net book value is now £0 and the asset was disposed.

Glad we cleared that up, congratulations on becoming a nanna.

LakieLady · 20/05/2018 13:24

She's a CF!

Send the daughter a £25 Mothercare voucher, "in full and final settlement".

Plantlover · 20/05/2018 13:24

Tell her your storage fees were well over £500 so you can call it quits?!

paceyswife · 20/05/2018 13:24

Genuinely stunned at her cheek Shock

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