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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable about DH and cooking.

155 replies

Shinygoldbauble · 19/05/2018 19:06

When I met my now DH he was fine about cooking. Before we had children he did about 30% of the cooking. Nothing fancy but quite capable of getting the groceries and preparing a meal.
Once we had kids and i became a SAHM I gradually started doing more until meal planning, shopping and cooking became almost 100% my thing.
I'm fine with it for the most part. DH works long hours and i have recently returned to some part time work.
I was working for a few hours today, on my feet the whole time doing very tiring work. DH did some grocery shopping while I was out and he was supposed to be doing the evening meal.
He just started cooking. He has a tiny steak - it won't come close to feeding 4 of us and he knows I'm not keen on steak. He is cooking about 5 tiny potatoes with it.
He didn't think of me at all. There is nothing for my dinner.
It's not the first time this has happened. If he is cooking for the family he invariably cooks something I'm not keen on and never cooks enough.
And now he's annoyed with me for being critical. I'm so fed up.

OP posts:
Perfectway · 19/05/2018 19:28

Sorry but I laughed at that picture. It is so pathetic. What is the brown stuff?

PurpleDaisies · 19/05/2018 19:28

Does he normally cook such ridiculous portions?

Original poster
Shinygoldbauble · 19/05/2018 19:28

He gets so defensive.
This is only one of many times something like this has happened.
I know sometimes portions might be misjudged or something doesn't work but it's like he won't even try.

OP posts:
savingin2018welltryingto · 19/05/2018 19:29

Don't try and justify this - he presumably cooked one (thin!) Steak for 4 people?!???

DoinItForTheKids · 19/05/2018 19:29

That's no even enough for an hoere durve (or however you spell it!!)!

Definitely: Say nothing. Serve the same size meal to him tomorrow whilst the rest of you eat normal human-size portions. Make sure there isn't enough left over for him to big up his serving to the same size. Repeat until lesson learned.

Think of the money you'll save on groceries OP!

Perfectway · 19/05/2018 19:29

It looks like he was just cooking for himself until you picked him up on it.

Jaxhog · 19/05/2018 19:31

What's HIS plate of food look like?

Foodylicious · 19/05/2018 19:31

Wtf

SardineReturns · 19/05/2018 19:32

No that's not on.

Did he basically only buy / cook enough for himself, then when you said right then what about supper and oh wow that's not much food, he dished out his meal between the 3 of you and has made an exit?

It's a bit baffling to me his behaviour, does he do other stuff like this? Either he bought food for one by accident (how did he forget you lot) or he did it on purpose, both of which are pretty weird.

Heismyopendoor · 19/05/2018 19:33

That’s pitiful!!

Order a take away for sure

SardineReturns · 19/05/2018 19:33

But he used to cook quite a lot of the time before kids, could he manage portion sizes then?

Ginseng1 · 19/05/2018 19:33

Yes but what's his defence though I'd be pissed off if I cooked nice meals for everyone 6 days a week n the day I was working I'd to come back to that n the sulks because I suggested it was a bit small! Its hardly like he slaved over the cooker all day making it either!

Original poster
Shinygoldbauble · 19/05/2018 19:36

I didn't see his dinner.
He must have eaten it in 30 seconds.

I think on days when he is supposed to cook he buys some random stuff and then tries to wait me out so I'll rustle something up.

OP posts:
Bambamber · 19/05/2018 19:36

I reckon he was just cooking for himself with no thought for his family at all.

I would cook for everyone tomorrow except him and when he asks where his food is, you can tell him you assumed he was on a very strict diet going by his portion sizes tonight and didn't want to ruin it for him

chavtasticfirebanger · 19/05/2018 19:37

Something's off here.........
Nobody serves a meal that small!
What's going on?

Shoxfordian · 19/05/2018 19:38

This is ridiculous
What's wrong with him? Is he actually this selfish?

NoMorePills · 19/05/2018 19:38

So what does he say when you ask what he's playing at?

Perfectway · 19/05/2018 19:38

I think the five potatoes were all going to be his.

Eatmycheese · 19/05/2018 19:38

Are you the Borrowers?

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 19/05/2018 19:39

I'd tell dh he clearly needs a LOT more practice cooking for four. It's not on to give the dc so little, he needs to sort it out now and not slope off for a sly burger as I suspect he's done

pilates · 19/05/2018 19:39

I think I would be inclined to say are we having starters tonight and what’s for main? Perhaps he can make it up to you tomorrow and do a nice roast for you all.

StripesandMars · 19/05/2018 19:41

Seriously, it’s classic passive aggressive behaviour.

He WANTS you do all the cooking, but doesn’t want to say this directly. So he’s trying to manipulate you into just taking over.

I couldn’t live with someone like this.

Original poster
Shinygoldbauble · 19/05/2018 19:41

He jus came back. He got dishwasher tablets (we were out of the) and he bought....absolutely nothing else.
I thought maybe he had gone for a takeaway or something.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 19/05/2018 19:43

He only made his own I would suspect. Then didn't let on.

Original poster
Shinygoldbauble · 19/05/2018 19:43

I agree Stripes - totally passive-aggressive.
I've become a bloody door mat.

OP posts: