To wonder what you think about people with disabilities buying sex

[huha]

Here is a link: tlc-trust.org.uk

I personally was at first 😲😲😲 but now am thinking 🤔...maybe this is a good thing?? AIBU?

Infertility is NOT a medical condition, especially due to age. It means you cannot become pregnant; you are not sick.

Of course it’s a medical condition. ‘Sick’ is what happens when you contract a pathogen or when a bodily system functions to the point it creates feelings of illness. That is a subset of medical conditions that result in ‘sickness behaviour.’

Other medical conditions do not make the person feel sick but they are still medical conditions. Retinopathy, impotence, hearing loss, infertility, Bell’s palsy.., all medical conditions. None make you ‘sick’ but all are medical conditions.

It’s exactly the same as anyone else buying sex. With exactly the same concerns over trafficking, the male entitlement to female bodies, the knock on effects on the way women are seen in society etc.

The happy hooker argument is bollocks. One consenting provider does not negate the trades darker side, which is trafficking rape and abuse of women and minors with associated criminal profiteering and the spillover of the idea that women can be bought and sold into wider society. Ffs that ends up with men whining that sahms are really just whores

Drug users consent too - that doesn’t mean they don’t contribute to an horrendous back supply chain of human misery.

Who cares about my opinion? Umm the op who asked?

larry do you honestly believe most prostitutes are freely and willingly consenting? I don’t think it’s that common.

Theoretically, I can imagine prostitution and pornography being ok - if there was no misogyny or inequality and we were all starting from a level playing field. But that manifestly isn’t the case. Men want to do horrendous things to prostitutes and they justify it because they’re paying for it. Millions of prostitutes are groomed, trapped and raped and they are not consenting. To argue that prostitution is fine based on a hypothetical minority of women who are freely consenting is laughable.

Its all ok because some women do it freely It’s a fiction men are invested in maintaining. Because if they let it go they’d have to face the fact that they are paying for sex. That at the very best scenario, the woman they are paying to have etc with would not be having sex with them unless they were paying. And that they really have no way of knowing that even that is true and maybe the women in question is pimped out and has no ability to consent and in that case they are actually engaging in the rape and enslavement of that woman.

But it’s all ok in their heads.

Sex is not a right or even an essential for life - saying that anyone 'needs' it for a balanced life is totally bonkers.

Company, conversation, love, entertainment, having children, and sugar aren't biologically "essential" for life but that doesn't mean they aren't a key part of having a happy and emotionally healthy life - sex is absolutely in the same wheelhouse for many people.

beyond i care far more about your opinion than some other posters.

Larry do you not think the view of a disabled woman on this is more valid than the view of an able bodied man? All views are not equal in this regard. You may want to think it's fine for men to buy a woman's body for his orgasm, but many many people don't. We have evidence why it damages the women involved and society at large. You don't have any reason why it should happen other than because you think penis rights are more important than women's rights to live in an equal society.

I see you.

I find it fascinating that there are men who believe that a woman having sex she doesn’t want for money is no different to her cleaning a toilet for money. No wonder we have such a problem with sexual assault in our society when women’s experience of sex is so trivialised.

And Larry, in most cases fertility is secondary to a medical condition, especially for women, women who often have to wait up to a decade for diagnosis of common conditions affecting 10% of women (and that’s not getting into the myriad other conditions that mainl affect women and are chronically under-diagnosed).

Furthermore, when the NHS does perform “weight loss surgery”, it’s based on the fact that not performing it will cost more in the long run.

I’m really surprised at the responses. I’m against the commodification of sex because the vast majority of the time it is the commodification of women’s bodies. I totally am not sure of my footing because it’s a complex idea, and is based on centuries of context of the abuse and objectification of women. Maybe if someone really could be viewed as equal to other professions and not stigmatised or objectified, then my mind would change. But due the the nature of paid for sex I just don’t see it happening for a long time.

I wonder if Helen Mirron knows she is the face of this website

Company, conversation, love, entertainment, having children, and sugar aren't biologically "essential" for life but that doesn't mean they aren't a key part of having a happy and emotionally healthy life - sex is absolutely in the same wheelhouse for many people

Even if it comes at the expense of another person's future wellbeing and happiness?

What about people who cannot have sex for various reasons? Their lives can't be happy?

I don't see it as any different to a non-disabled person buying sex. I don't think it's okay.

I wondered that too. Does she have a twitter account? Should someone hit it up and tell her? Think she'll be over the moon, and happy to put her image where her mouth is?
My guess is.......not

I can’t see that there’s any difference disability or not.

As long as all health and safety regulations around body fluids are followed, I don't have a problem.

I mean, I'm not sure how it's going to be managed, what with the wellies, face guards, etc. but I can't see that it's acceptable to expect a prostituted woman to risk her health in ways that you wouldn't ask a doctor or a dentist.

balsamicbarbara

Totally agree if you were told you would never be touched only ever in a medical intervention or personal care

You could never be kissed held
You could never feel like you have been desired most people would find that very disresing

Their is a reason why people in prisons have high rates of same sex relations and it’s turned a blind eye to because as humans we need to be touched and loved and feel loved other wise we don’t thrive and it’s pretty grim

You can’t buy desire. You can’t buy love. You shouldn’t put your craving for these things above someone else’s dignity and autonomy.

I haven't really looked at the website link in the op. But there was a film made about sexual surrogacy a few years ago, based upon a true story.

A review of the film is here:

An interview with the actual sex surrogate is here:

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/2570634

After watching the film and reading the article, I definitely reconsidered my views with regards to sex being commoditised as a therapy service.

because as humans we need to be touched and loved and feel loved other wise we don’t thrive and it’s pretty grim

We are social creatures for sure - but what we are not entitled to is to take that affection. Paid sex is not a substitute for genuine love and being cherished either. Where we have to involve another party to fulfill that ‘need’ then we have to consider that other party too.

I'm a woman. Have name changed for obvious reasons.

I have paid for sex and also been paid for sex before and I say it's up to the individuals. As long as both are consenting.

I think disabled people (and non-disabled) absolutely have a right to pay for intimacy if they want it. Sex work isn't always about filthy stuff. It's often about massage, kissing, cuddling, hair stroking, talking. All things that make a person feel happy and valued. If course it's sad that some people can't find that naturally but it doesn't mean they shouldn't get to experience it.

Excellent posts artggghhh

Obviously I can only guess, but I don't imagine I'd feel much better purchasing affection than going without it. In fact I imagine I'd feel worse for it; Surely the majority of what makes you feel good about being loved is the fact that it isn't conditional on paying someone for it?

I wonder why if people are so concerned about disabled people not getting enough sex, why they dont volunteer to help them for free?

or why you dont apply to volunteer for hair stroking, cuddling and talking or whatever.

Excellent idea bran