To wonder what you think about people with disabilities buying sex

[huha]

Here is a link: tlc-trust.org.uk

I personally was at first 😲😲😲 but now am thinking 🤔...maybe this is a good thing?? AIBU?

Goofy but women aren't people! Sex being bought and sold contributes to the mess we're in. I absolutely hate it. How can women ever be seen as equal when men know absolutely that they can acquire a woman's body for their own use whenever they like?

Interesting about men being the consumers. I read it as though both men AND women can request services.

Next step from here is the government allocating women to incels.

I don't support it. I think people with disabilities should be supported to find loving relationships. It was in the news a while ago that a care services took people they support to Amsterdam to visit sex workers.

Hmm.
"If you are a female wanting a male service provider please call so we can help you find the best person for you (see contact)."

I bet they'd be amazed if a woman called-I wish someone would have the bottle to try!

It's all about men's "needs" and how women will meet them.

I don't support it. I think people with disabilities should be supported to find loving relationships. It was in the news a while ago that a care services took people they support to Amsterdam to visit sex workers.

what if they are incapable of reciprocation due to their disability? What if they don't know how to have an intimate relationship because they don't have the skill set? What then?

No one ‘needs’ a lot of things we now seem to take as rights.

No one needs a baby, no one needs a holiday and no one needs an operation to help them lose weight.

For all of the above there is a cost to everyone else but, for some reason they are rarely questioned.

A quick look at the services provided will show you that the site is basically hiding behind the "responsible sexual services for disabled people" tagline. A lot of the sex workers service providers don't even cater to the disabled, charging £100+ per hour, yet having no wheelchair access (for example) or interest in helping disabled people to feel good about their bodies (unless disabled people just love BDSM!).

A typical provider's profile reads as:
"Hi, I'm a voluptuous goddess/studly man-stud interested in helping those with disabilities to explore their bodies and overcome feelings of shame or inadequacy."
"What I offer: BDSM, domination, massage."
"Experience with disabled people: Um... I'm interested in working with them."
"Facilities: Wheelchair access: no. Lift access: no. Hoist (for shower): no. Disabled toilets: no. Oh, but I do have a rail on my stairs if that helps... actually can you just get a hotel? And of course you'd have to pay my travelling costs."
"Charges: £100+ per hour, and I'd love a tip!"
"Hit me up, sexy!"

It's just another escort site, and a despicable one at that.

IStill - that's horrific. Couldn't read much.

@huha then they shouldn't be buying sex because they aren't able to consent if they don't have a full understanding of intimacy.

Nope. Prostitution is prostitution is prostitution. Dressing it up as a service for disabled people doesn’t change the fact is prostitution.

"For all of the above there is a cost to everyone else but, for some reason they are rarely questioned."

That's because none of the things you mention involve transaction where a women is the commodity being bought and sold. HTH.

Sex is not a right or even an essential for life - saying that anyone 'needs' it for a balanced life is totally bonkers.

I need it for a balanced life. It's how I express and deal with a lot of things. My anxiety definitely increases if I don't get the sort of sex I need. I had a very stressful experience recently and I don't like to think of how I might have handled it if I hadn't had a safe and positive way of externalising, expressing and releasing what I was feeling.

I used to think it was nothing more than 'a moment of pleasure' or 'a quick orgasm' too, but that was before I started having the good stuff. It fulfils a very deep and basic need in me and my husband and has prolonged positive effects.

But nobody is obliged to provide it for me.

what if they are incapable of reciprocation due to their disability? What if they don't know how to have an intimate relationship because they don't have the skill set? What then?

Well then so be it.

Then they surely can’t consent to a sexual relationship. Or sex in general. Surely.

Anyway even if they could it doesn’t really matter. No one has a God given right to sex. It’s not a justification for using prostitutes.

Are you equating being a holiday tour operator or surgeon with being a prostituted woman? What a bizarre comment!

Sex being bought and sold contributes to the mess we're in. I absolutely hate it. How can women ever be seen as equal when men know absolutely that they can acquire a woman's body for their own use whenever they like?

This.
No-one has a right to sex. The whole thing just shows up a huge sense of entitlement in society.

"As long as neither party is being exploited".

The thing is this is endemic within the sex industry. Take Amsterdam for example, they have just opened some government run brothels, as there are concerns that about the trafficking within the 'normal' windows. That the current guidelines for these windows is not strict enough and that abuse of women within the system is far too common.

So now there is a street of government run brothels, only they've had to close them for all the day time shifts as they can't get enough women in who pass the stricter criteria. And they are only partially occupied during the evening by women. It's being touted as a failure.

In essence, when the criteria is non-exploitation, the business models can't survive.

So for me the question of who is buying the sex is irrelevant.

Ick

Not my business; up to the people involved. I have no problem with prostitution; as long as no one is forced into it.

Istill,

A surgeon, no, an Nhs policymaker, maybe. Who has the right to cancel surgery on people in pain or need or to employ carers on minimum wage so someone can avoid dieting. Or, for that matter, £5k per IVF because a 39 year old suddenly decides she ‘needs’ a baby, despite never trying before.

Equally, if you are selling a package holiday where you know hotel workers are kept in a compound and worked 70-80 hours a week to service the needs of your client, is that so much better than pimping?

What people consider a need and what they expect of other people to fulfil that need often seems very inconsistent (and self serving) to me.

“. I have no problem with prostitution; as long as no one is forced into it.”

And therein lies the problem. Or one of the problems..

I have no issue with sex work or sex workers if the sex worker has made the choice to do it. Therefore I have no issue with anyone disabled or not paying for their services

Oh, well whatabouted, larrygrills.

Bertrand,

En passant, re your earlier comments, young gigolos (and the Gambian beaches) are increasingly used by rich older women to fulfil their sexual ‘needs’.

Uptight? Live and let live? Let them get on with it?

Prostitution doesn't become a good thing because "x person" uses it. As a disabled person I don't like that the word suddenly makes things acceptable that wouldn't be to anyone else, like a little treat from a guilty society who don't really do anything to help.

I also disagree with the choice thing. If prostitution were a real choice then it would be a career option which was encouraged from primary school onwards to all kids. It's a last resort of the desperate.