To wonder what you think about people with disabilities buying sex

[huha]

Here is a link: tlc-trust.org.uk

I personally was at first 😲😲😲 but now am thinking 🤔...maybe this is a good thing?? AIBU?

No it didn't. I was asked if I had sympathy for them and I replied that I didn't at that point because they had robbed a couple of very vulnerable adults and threatened my staff member with a knife. Every sympathy for people in shit circumstances through no fault of their own. Less for those who choose not to engage with services and remain addicted to drugs and then choose to threaten vulnerable people in a very deliberate way to fund their habit.

As I said I've spent the last 17 years managing services for people
With disabilities, people in mental health crisis, people with drug and alchohol issues. I'm understanding of people's reasons for doing lots of things. Less understanding when they continuously choose not to engage with services that can help them and are actively choosing to go down other routes to fund habits.

I’m curious - would be interesting to know the stats of which sex is buying and which sex is providing. Is it equally Male employing females as it is females employing males (and any other combination) - and if not - why not?

This is becoming ridiculous.
All hail the mighty penis and the happy prostitute.
The millions of girls and women that are coerced,abused or trafficked into prostitution are just collateral damage.

Apparently they're empowered and happy. Some twitter accounts said so

Disgusting

@lindsey actually, you might find it very enlightening to follow some empowered sex workers on twitter, or even befriend them in real life.

Sorry Nigel, I don't care what they did, he got what he deserved by trying to do such an atrocious thing in the first place.

A sex worker may claim to be empowered and enjoy the money, but that is a selfish and short-sighted outlook. The fact is that their choice of "job" perpetrates misogyny and inequality in society. A pimp could claim to feel empowered and enjoy the money - is that ok? Or what about someone who produces / sells drugs - do we says that's ok because otherwise they'd be working in Tesco for minimum wage?

TheLastNigel

I may have missed your point but that is how your post came across to me.

I’m afraid that thinking doesn’t sit well with me. Why should women (who may already feel disenfranchised due to lack of education, disability) and who have chosen this path because it enables them to make money quickly feel the additional burden of being responsible for misogyny!!! Women are NOT responsible for misogyny. Men are!!! Stop blaming women here.

People tend to big themselves up on social media...

Take MLM pyramid scam victims; all #livingthedream, #bossbabe and pictures of them looking empowered. Never any shots of them weeping over a credit card bill, are there?

The sex worker community on twitter are incredibly political and are actively fighting for sex worker rights. They pretending to have a laugh and selling juice plus !!!

*aren’t pretending

He got what he deserved?
Presumably the other three service users robbed and the member of staff who had a knife shoved in their face were similarly deserving, because poor prostitutes, being exploited by a severely disabled man with additional learning disabilities, so bloody lonely that he tried to befriend them (yes probably with the hope of having a bunk up at the end of it but id say more because he wanted a friend-any sort of friend- so much he would pay for one). It turned out they had coerced him into to buying them KFC and stuff from the market for weeks on end before finally coming to his home and taking his and others things. I wouldn't say they seemed too traumatised by their interactions with him tbh.

If the whole thing had been somehow more regulated via the use of a website or other organisation that helps disabled people with this area then the outcome would have been different It seems to me.
He was taking the situation into his own hands in what ended up being a disastrous way, for all concerned, because at the time there was no other option or help available. How can that be seen as a good outcome?

Sex work will always exist. I can't see how it's a bad thing to try and regulate it, wether the clients are disabled or not.

Stringmummy - slightly different area, but if you look on porn sites now, about half of it is so-called "incest porn". Teen girls / women who have made the "empowered choice" to enact scenes in which fathers groom and /or coerce their daughters into sexual submission, this kind of thing. It's an utter disgrace on every level and how this is available at the click of a button is beyond me. There are more steps to joining MN than accessing this kind of material.

Yes the women might get paid more than they would elsewhere, but how can they look at themselves in the mirror, knowing that such abuse is a devastating reality for so many women. What an insult to their own sex and humanity to enact this for entertainment / wank fodder. Do they not ever stop to think how triggering and disturbing their "films" are for women who actually have been groomed and raped by male relatives? Or do they ever think that their material may well normalise and encourage a man to engage in incest or abuse in real life? So yes, I do hold those women responsible for their actions and, to my mind, they are as warped as their male co-"actors".

@pa1oma

If you’re talking about the “daddy/little girl” fetish that is NOT about incest.

However, whether we like it or not very odd fetishes exist. The porn industry satisfies those fetishes. It’s fantasy, nothing more.

There’s a huge difference between someone wanking over a woman calling him daddy and him having unnatural thoughts about his own daughter!

Or what about someone who produces / sells drugs - do we says that's ok because otherwise they'd be working in Tesco for minimum wage?

Except selling "drugs" is illegal and being a prostitute is, erm, not.

And as for prostitutes in general, do they ever think of the lives they are colluding in destroying by facilitating men being able to humiliate and cheat on their wives? Is it "empowering" for the children who have bear the brunt of divorces? Yes it is the man's responsibility not to cheat, but personally I could find more forgiveness for a man who had an affair than a man who would actually pay for the use of a woman. That is a different mentality altogether, in my opinion. You could say that prostitutes are fulfilling a requirement, but they are also perpetrating and enabling it. While I would obviously not blame women who are trafficked or coerced into the sex industry, I do think women who claim to see it as an "empowering choice" are utterly delusional and not much better than the low-life punters who use them.

" I do think women who claim to see it as an "empowering choice" are utterly delusional and not much better than the low-life punters who use them"
I don't think you need worry about this-very few prostirutes think that way.

Strongmummy - there is specific incest porn and a lot if it. Apoearentky it's a trend. Dads "training" their daughters "how to be women" etc. The girls crying or acting in pain and so in. Oh but it must be ok because the sites are legal after all. Instantly available by typing 7 letters into Google. Or how about the actresses who enact the "bitch just turned 16 today and * " material? Do they ever think about the reality of paedophillia in society? Obviously not. It's very easy for some sicko to sit in a room watching this kind of stuff, video after video all day. Is his mind likely to become more or less warped over time? What about the impact on teen boys? Do these women ever think about any of this?

@pa1oma, some people are in sexless marriages, some people have a fetish that their wives or husbands can’t or won’t satisfy. Therefore sex workers provide a service.

Secondly, It really is NOT the fault of the sex worker if a man or woman makes the decision to “cheat”. Again They are providing just providing a service.

Sex trafficking is despicable. However, I separate sex trafficking from women making a decision to provide a sexual service. They should not be judged in my view or be held responsibility for the failings of the patriarchy and misogyny in society.

@pa1oma, again it’s fetish. It’s distasteful fetish, but it’s fetish. As long as the actors involved are consenting adults I don’t see an issue. I would sincerely hope that whoever had suffered the horror of sexual abuse would not watch!!

You also don’t get a fetish by watching fetish porn. A man watching the porn you describe will not suddenly want to rape his daughter. I would assume he’d be disgusted by it as would you or I

Saying that you are just "providing a service" is not good enough. You could justify pretty much anything on that basis. It's moral dissociation in the extreme. The onus is on us all to take responsibility for our actions and the impact of these in wider society. Prostitutes are no exception.

Strongmummy - so could a video showing a racially-motivated beating or sexual assault be justified as "just a fetish?"

No it would not. There would be public outrage and the actors and anyone involved with it would be prosecuted for inciting racial hatred.

Why is it only ok when the victims are women?

Why do women collude with it?

Why do other women go to such lengths to justify it?

@BertrandRussell going by some of the comments on here you'd think they're a majority,all happily shagging into the sunset.