To wonder what you think about people with disabilities buying sex

[huha]

Here is a link: tlc-trust.org.uk

I personally was at first 😲😲😲 but now am thinking 🤔...maybe this is a good thing?? AIBU?

I do judge some women who get involved in prostituion, yes. And?

It's a strange new age morality that says judging someone is worse than someone actually doing something morally reprehensible.

I notice none of those advocating for the right for men to stick their hands and whatever other objects they fancy up women orifices are willing to urge their children into it or do it themselves.

I watched a program once on two women who were making a ton of money through prostitution. They didn't have a pimp. They made so much cash, they set themselves up in an expensive upmarket flat in Canary Wharf. Close to the financial hub.

Asked if they had a daughter would they recommend it?

The answer: hell no! They would both be devastated if their DD ever did it. They want any children to get legitimate careers.

Interestingly they both eventually wanted to stop and intended to completely their slates clean and start over.

A lot of modern Western nations have regulated sex trade and it dramtically reduced the sex trafficking aspect since it was a legitimate business and people did not go to street courners and so was no longer profitable for gangs to bring them in when they people can go to controlled brothals were bith the clients are checked for stds / are regularly checked upon for their own protection aka government sends inspecters regularly.

Like the Australian model or the German one.

It’s easy to spot the people who don’t know what they are talking about on threads like this. One of the ways is when they talk about prostitutes earning 500 quid a time. Ditto “funding their PhD” Doing it because they love sex is another one.

And “stop judging women” is a brilliant distraction. Because we all spend so much time explaining that there is a big difference between judging prostitutes and judging punters and that explanation falling on deaf ears that the original subject gets left behind. “It’s ridiculous to say that all prostitutes are trafficked or exploited” when nobody has is another good one.

Anything to draw attention away from the basic fact that treating women as a commodity to be bought and sold is unacceptable.

A lot of modern Western nations have regulated sex trade and it dramtically reduced the sex trafficking aspect

No it didn’t. You’d think it would have done, that was the theory, but in practice, no. What it’s done is increased demand, but there aren’t enough women who want to do this to come even close to meeting that demand. Sex trafficking actually went up in some places. Sticking a ‘legitimate business’ label on the surface has not removed the tide of human misery rolling beneath.

ImAGoofyGoober

Usually their sexuality it guarded a lot more closely as it is for non disabled women I guess

The sex industry in Germany has however masterfully responded to the mass trafficking by casting these women as ‘migrant sex workers’ and wristslapping people for ‘shaming’ them.

I notice none of those advocating for the right for men to stick their hands and whatever other objects they fancy up women orifices are willing to urge their children into it or do it themselves.

Well, quite.

I remember watching that documentary about the 'Super Brothel' in Germany (which was the final nail in the coffin for the idea of legalising prostitution for me).

They were interviewing the owner and his daughter and they were both going on about what a legitimate career choice it is, how content the women are, what good money they make etc.

Then the interviewer asked them if she would be willing to work there and they were both basically like 'hell, no!'

It says it all.

"The answer: hell no! They would both be devastated if their DD ever did it. They want any children to get legitimate careers."

I don't agree with these services being provided, and especially not paid for by the state, but I have to point out that with the statement above it would be the same answer from women in many low paid or low status jobs. Not many checkout operators really hope their daughters will follow them.

And government controlled brothels, like ‘intimate therapists’ legitimises the horrible narrative that men must be provided with sex one way or another as though it is their right. It plays into this misogynistic belief that all women are prostitutes really because going on a date or getting married is just the same as selling sex. And somehow women speaking up against this are accused of ‘looking down’ on prostitues whilst the men who use them, go online and review them, admit to visiting prostitutes in order to carry out acts that they can’t get a woman to agree to - they get swept aside in people’s rush to judge and criticise the women objecting to this. The revolting, disgusting men who think they can buy the right to do what they want to a woman’s body just carry on regardless.

Without picking the far too many to mention posters. People, male and female, have been prostituting them selves since time began. It' s not known as the oldest trade in the world without reason.

The almost mandatory, wilful misinterpretation of my original comment is laughable, although expected. Take sex out of the equation any my comment still stands. What you're nearly all missing her is the fundamental point that people with disabilities have the legal and moral right to access the same services as able bodies people. In this instance we just happen to be talking about sex.

Buying sex is not illegal. And I'll say it again. Disability discrimination still exists, far more so than any other form of discrimination.

I'm not unilaterally against sex work/prostitution IN THEORY.

But I'm realistic about the fact that most of the trade is fucking grim and primarily involves women with substance addiction, mental illnesses, severe psychological problems and so on.

The relatively small number of sex workers who have none of these problems are usually engaging in sex work for short periods of time while they work towards a specific financial goal. There is nowhere near enough of these women to meet the demand, and because most of these women are planning to have normal careers and marriages etc. once they have finished, few are interested in state-sponsored prostitution where their names would appear on official paperwork and records.

Which is why state-sponsored sex work never really works in practice.

I'm torn.

I suffer extreme OCD and depression, currently housebound by it completely. I'm 28, never had a physical relationship, but my wants, needs and desires are the same as any NT person.
I want to love and be loved, i want someone to cuddle on the sofa with, share kisses, etc with. But my situation makes it complicated. I can't go out on dates, i can't do holidays, i can't do staying over at their house, can't plan a future etc. Dating me would basically mean them coming to my house (and i live with my dad who is my carer) and us staying in, the whole time, every time, so, nobody wants me.

Being disabled, especially mentally, drastically cuts your relationship options. I can understand someone getting so frustrated that paying to have some intimacy and closeness becomes a considered option.

On the other hand, i still think it exploits the sex worker. I don't agree with the "trade" as the majority, if not arguably all sex workers, have been manipulated or forced into it by circumstance. Maybe, there might be a handful who have other options, don't need the money etc who genuinely do it because they like it and want to, but thats got to be needle in a haystack difficult to find. A client is a client, being disabled and it being realistically the only way they are going to get to have sex, doesn't make it any less unpleasant for the sex worker. They could be the nicest person in the world, kind, considerate, appreciative etc, it is still having sex with a stranger for money and not becasue you have genuine feelings and desires for them.

I honestly think i'd have to go with no, it isn't right or "okay", and should be illegal. While i know how frustrating being alone and unwanted is due to disability, nobody has a right to sex, being a virgin your whole life wont kill you, and there is always masturbation for the "release". It's sad that people don't consider disabled people as potential partners, you do find a LOT of people automatically write you off without even getting to know you. I do get why, they don't want to limit what they can do, and what future they can have due to restrictions of a partners disability, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

NewYear does the fact it’s been happening a long time mean it’s therefore ok? How many men have been prostitutes as compared to women? If we object to the sex trade, as many of us do, how is it disability discrimination for us to object to it for disabled people as well? I know it exists, but I don’t think it should - for anyone.

women have been forced/coerced and groomed into prostitution and put in horribly abusive situations since time begun. There fixed that for you. hth

“Buying sex is not illegal. And I'll say it again. Disability discrimination still exists, far more so than any other form of discrimination.”

How are these two statements in any way connected?

Oh come on. I cannot believe people are trivialising prostitution by saying yes but cleaners, bus drivers, dustbin men.......

None of those things are remotely the same. You could argue there is an element of exploitation in these jobs, in terms of the pitiful financial renumeration and I'd agree. And it should be part of political discourse.

But where do you stop then? My sister's a nurse. She does a lot of personal services (cleaning bums, changing bandages, cleaning sick) that some people would find beneath them. She also doesn't get half the pay she deserves. What about Junior doctors working well over the working hours threshold again for minimal pay? Unpaid internships? These all should be subjects of political debate.

But none of those involve a man potentially pissing on you and renting one of your orifices cause he has the urge.

Men have been hitting their wives since time began too. That makes it alright then.

And if you are a SAHM to rich man - what do you think you have traded?

Dh would be delighted if i traded sex for my upkeep

Honestly...he wouldnt know wha to do with himself

Luckily he is not a twat who thinks he bought me

Sorry i missed out the

The SAHM argument is so revealing.

Conveniently minimises all the work SAHMs do. Deliberately or subconsciously, it shows how the people who use that argument view the work of running a house. It's invisible to them. It's all about the working man's entitlement

People, male and female, have been prostituting them selves since time began. It' s not known as the oldest trade in the world without reason.

So fucking what?

Slavery was an age old trade for many hundreds of years, should we not have bothered abolishing that?

Well said, Quentin

I don't think the state should permit prostitution for anyone. It has a terrible impact on the people who work as prostitutes, and I think it would be fair to say that it also can badly affect the way men treat women more generally in society. The people who use these services should be punished (not the prostitutes).

The state has a right to decide that some markets are not legally permissible . You cannot sell your spare kidney for example because of the risk of exploitation, even though there are people in need of new kidneys who arguably have a much more pressing need compared to people who struggle to find a sexual relationship.

If we need to do anything as a society, it should be to invent some items which make it easier for physically disabled people to take care of their own needs (I hope that everyone knows what I'm talking about here as I'm trying to avoid being too graphic!).

No such thing as bought consent imo, regardless of why the John is paying.

Beyond,

But who cares about your opinion?

The staggering arrogance of people telling other people what they may or may not consent is hard to believe.

They have not consented to you telling them what they may or may not do with their own bodies. And you are not even paying ...