To think my husband is correct for once

[Metoodear]

My son 18 has started seeing this girl Turing put to be the first love I think

She’s been coming round regularly that’s fine no issue however she just runs straight in his room or hides behind the hedge if she’s waiting for hi
To come out ds has said she’s shy

Last nite dh said she must say pop head in and say hello and god by or she can’t come round as it’s rude she may be shy but she is 18 and ds said he would not be allowed to go to her home with out saying hello

Yesterday she was in the hall way I literally had to shout bye then

Dh said she doesn’t need to have a full blown convo but this is our home we expect it of his mates as well

YANBU very rude

*how much rudeness/bad behaviour is OP supposed to put up with?
*

This isn't rudeness or bad behaviour, it's shyness. In most houses it would be very weird for everyone's guests to roam the house saying hello to everyone else in the house, it's absolutely not necessary. She's not disrespecting you or your property. You're mistaking etiquette which varies anyway, with respect and consideration which is very different.

@FullOfJellybeans

I'm not sure where the OP said this woman should walk room to room to find her. Depending on the layout of the house, if the OP is in the living room and they pass the living to get to her D's bedroom. A hello is reasonable to expect. If OP answers the door then what? or because of this person's shyness she isn't aloud to open the door to her own home and if she dies the woman hides in the bushes, maybe?

And hiding in the bushes isn't rude? You know what, it probably isn't rude, it's more likely shame about what it is she's doing there.

For some strange reason people are making excuses for a person walking into someone else's home and disrespecting them. I literally don't understand it. But you do you. If that was my child and I found out how she'd been acting I would have serious words. And would bloody ban her myself till she learnt manners that she must have forgotten.

As I mention upthread. she comes from a culture where respect and 'etiquette' is interchangeable. Modern living in the UK might make us forget some things, but basic manners no.

How can ignoring anyone in their home be anything but disrespectful

Oh and as long as the young woman knows what is expected of her I.e etiquette, their rules. Then etiquette no longer varies and she knows what is expected.

Once she knows and still disrespect then....?
Once again this is something for DS to deal with.

I’m in the ‘this is rude’ camp. I think your point is that it’s the fact they are coming in and going straight to his room.

In my family, when bringing friends back, it was normal to bring them through to the lounge/kitchen/garden and say Hi. Not dive straight to bedrooms. In any case, it was a good way of checking if anyone was home before getting on with what we’d really come back for. . My own DDs applied a similar approach. It didn’t need to be spelled out.

I’m assuming you don’t live in a 20 room mansion so it’s not like you have to go searching for people.