To not want MiL to drink while babysitting

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My MiL looks after DD(2.5) once a week while I’m at work. She will send pictures to show what they’re up to, and I noticed in the most recent an empty bottle of wine and two glasses on the table. She was meeting her friend for lunch and they had a bottle between them, whilst she’s looking after her granddaughter.

One glass might be ok, I suppose, but half a bottle seems like a lot. When I mentioned it to DP, he said that it was ok because she drinks a lot normally so half a bottle isn’t a lot for her!

AIBU to be really cross that she’s had that much whilst in charge of my little one?

I read threads like these on mumsnet and I'm eternally grateful that I live 4000 miles and apparently an entire world away.

Half a bottle? People are getting worked up about half a bottle?? Fucking. hell. The hand wringing that goes on defies belief.

Yes OP, YABU to be cross - give yourself a shake.

Only on MN is a shared bottle of wine at lunch, a problem. All these people who get squiffy on a glass of wine, and don't drink whilst in charge of children. Eh?

Like hypocritical OP. Who has done it. But no hers is ok, unlike mil?

The thing is, the Police say if they had their way they'd ban even having one drink altogether whilst driving, so my Police Officer sister in law says, yet people think it's ok whilst looking after the most precious thing in the world to them, their children.

Drink driving is (rightly) illegal because driving a ton of metal with even slightly impaired judgment is hugely dangerous and could very easily cause multiple fatalities. You can’t seriously be suggesting that having one glass of wine while looking after kids has the same risk of serious consequences as drink driving?

As long as she isn’t driving as would be over the limit

Saying that is she drinking everytime she has your child

Ie drinking daytime regually

Fevs

Just too much chocolate and too much tv etc. Good job she takes direction.

Are you sure she doesn’t need a drink ... love

I had this with DM. She's used to a glass or two (or more) in the evening and we agreed no more than one so she wasn't over the limit in the highly unlikely event she would need to drive. She hardly ever babysits though, and if she did I would be close by.

I'm teetotal so I'm sure this affects how I feel about this. My Dad is borderline alcoholic and in denial. I wouldn't feel comfortable with drinking taking place during the day and I would worry about their response in case of an accident or something dramatic when they are meant to be the responsible adult around a small child.

If you're not comfortable I think it's best to address it but is it a tricky situation.

"Fevs

If I was your mil I would indeed drink"

Will no one think of the chiiiiildren

The police would ban alcohol?? All the police officers I know enjoy a drink or 6

Is the mil a drink drinker now? Or of course first stage dementure if she’s over 40

Love mumsnet alcohol threads.

Orders OP's mil a gin basket!!

if you are not confertable best address it

If you are not comfortable pay for childcare and stop using grandparents good will and then slsgging then off online

oblomov

Is the mil a drink drinker now?

I thought she was putting the child at serious risk by using public transport? Especially as it was in London which is seemingly incredibly dangerous.

Sweeney

Yes you are right I see many grannies singing ‘Eskimo nell* and ‘4 and 20 virgins’ with grandchildren clasped to them using the tube while spitting and abusing milleniels.

Dam that half bottle!

@Ohmydayslove

OMG Eskimo Nell

Oh how proud they will be when their dear little GC's go to school and proudly announce the song Grannie has taught them.

@Grandmaswagsbag
Personally I don’t dictate to my parents or inlaws about how to look after my kids. But because not one kid is the same although I trust them there will always be little things here and there that are helpful for a parent to pass on or situations that happen that you may not be happy with.
I’m shocked if you don’t leave the house and say to your mum ‘oh she’s not eating apples at the moment but loves milk’ or she’s dropped her afternoon nap or please don’t get pissed....
In an ideal world I would rather my MIL didn’t look after my child as much but I don’t think my husband would be happy if I said that as we know how much my MIL enjoys it.

A lot of OP’s initial issue I think is also down to the relationship that you have with the MIL. If it’s a good one then I’m sure something like this happening would create a very different reaction to if you don’t get on.

I like to think so sweeney

I take it a little thing here and there I like to
Pass on

This wouldn't bother me at all. I'm sure I did it myself plenty of times when in charge of my own young children.

She had a couple of glasses of wine, hardly getting totally blotto.

I can't imagine your mil was being irresponsible. It's Friday. Ladies lunch.
Depends how much she had before she got to the kitchen table. She might not have cleared up from the night before or that morning for that matter. Then again her friend may have had a left over bit from the fridge. Who knows? You weren't there yet making judgements.
I suggest you pay for childcare on those days if you are concerned.

Oh, and the very idea that Social Services might be interested in someone having a couple of glasses of wine with lunch while looking after children is just utterly laughable.

Don't know where I got the idea it's Fridays mil does childcare. I may have got confused because that's when you and DH have a bottle of wine

A standard glass is 175 mls but i think it used to be 125 ml. A large glass 250 ml.

Generally speaking, lunchtime drinking seems to have a greater impact on the body than drinking in the evening. Alcohol is broken down more slowly in the body as we age thus increasing the blood alcohol volume in that person.

Ops mil drank anywhere between 4-5 units. But that will have been magnified to a certain extent due to age although her age is not clear. It is fair to say there would be a certain amount of dulled cognitive ability and therefore an increased risk of accident. My main concern would be the ability to safely use public transport, escalators etc.

Half a bottle wouldn’t do anything to me, not something to be proud of but if you’re a regular drinker, half a bottle is nothing. No someone shouldn’t get drunk while looking after your child but different people have different tolerances for alcohol.

What do people who can't drive do when they need to get to hospital? They get a taxi. So that argument really doesn't stand.

My main concern would be the ability to safely use public transport, escalators etc.

Never in my whole life have I met anybody that could not successfully use public transport or an escalator after 1 and 1/2 glasses of wine.