Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To not want MiL to drink while babysitting

466 replies

PineappleRelish · 17/05/2018 17:57

My MiL looks after DD(2.5) once a week while I’m at work. She will send pictures to show what they’re up to, and I noticed in the most recent an empty bottle of wine and two glasses on the table. She was meeting her friend for lunch and they had a bottle between them, whilst she’s looking after her granddaughter.

One glass might be ok, I suppose, but half a bottle seems like a lot. When I mentioned it to DP, he said that it was ok because she drinks a lot normally so half a bottle isn’t a lot for her!

AIBU to be really cross that she’s had that much whilst in charge of my little one?

OP posts:
Ohmydayslove · 17/05/2018 23:28

Monty Grin I was just about to
Post hold off on the wine it’s thursday Grin

Storm4star · 17/05/2018 23:28

I live in London and have (on rare occasions) got completely wasted and managed to get home on the tube just fine! Not saying i’d Do that with a child obviously but if I can manage it in that state then I don’t think someone would struggle after a glass or two of wine!

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2018 23:29

sweeny. it’s not 1 1/2 glasses. Did you read my first paragraph?

CalF123 · 17/05/2018 23:31

@OhHolyJesus

What's the difference between having a glass of wine at lunch and having one at dinner?

abbsisspartacus · 17/05/2018 23:33

1/2 a bottle doesn't mix with a little one she could be impaired

This is why I didn't drink as a single parent

sweeneytoddsrazor · 17/05/2018 23:35

Yes I read it. OP's MIL had 1/2 a bottle of wine which is approx 1 and 1/2 glasses of wine. Pointless to ramble on about age as she could be anything from mid 30's upwards. And I repeat I have never met anyone in my life who could not negotiate public transport or escalators with ease after drinking that amount.

Ohmydayslove · 17/05/2018 23:36

Calf

None it’s a myth. A unit is a unit.

London transport is the easiest most wonderful system to access for anyone, who can go wrong on the tube ffs and I only visit around 6 times a year.

Seriously waiting for a bastard country bus takes far more acumen

If I was drinking with my grandchildren I would pick Covent Garden above Wire Piddle any day

I think this calls for some practical research though just to check

Ohmydayslove · 17/05/2018 23:39

sweeney

If my grown up kids couldn’t access an escalator after half a bottle of wine I would think I had failed as a parent Grin

sweeneytoddsrazor · 17/05/2018 23:39

Make sure you sing loud and proud on the escalators @Ohmydayslove

Ohmydayslove · 17/05/2018 23:40

I do sweeney I do.Grin

BadLad · 17/05/2018 23:43

I just looked in the mirror and I do look like Dobby! Must be all the drink

Well, giving a house elf clothes frees them. So the next time your kids expect you to do their laundry, you can refuse to do any more favours for anyone.

Monty27 · 17/05/2018 23:46

Ohmydays exactly that 😂

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2018 23:51

Sweeney
Just because you don’t agree with my comment, it doesn’t mean it is rambling. Very rude.

wobytide · 17/05/2018 23:58

So from a quick statistical analysis of the thread it seems teetotallers and people who don't drink make proportionately more drives to hospital with children

Therefore the presumption is children with "drunk" parents are safer as they make much less less trips to hospitals Hmm

Confused what to do now

Winebottle · 18/05/2018 00:09

Half a bottle of wine is nothing. You would not even tell most people had drank that. Most people would legally be able to drive a car after that much.

MumofBoysx2 · 18/05/2018 00:10

What is the issue here? That she had a drink, or that she was drunk? If she was drunk, that's not good. But she may just have had a glass or so and be perfectly sober.

DillyDillyDally · 18/05/2018 00:13

I think that I'd be more concerned about daughter being bored whilst GM is lunching with a friend.

Jesus, these replies just get worse. Parents or people looking after children aren't supposed to socialise now or bring children to anywhere that isn't explicitly child oriented? I despair for kids being raised by these obsessively "selfless" parents (aka martyrs). They're going to get a shock when they enter the real world and realise it doesnt in fact revolve around them!

Ohmydayslove · 18/05/2018 00:16

BadLad jolly good idea. Smile

Wobytide bloody hilarious

Monty27 · 18/05/2018 00:28

PFB and entitled.

CheshireChat · 18/05/2018 00:32

I'm actually a bit horrified how many people think 1/2 bottle of wine is nothing Shock.

In my case, I'd never allow anyone to drink whilst they're in charge of my kid, but I hardly ever drink myself and the most I've ever had when DS is around is probably a small glass of Buck's fizz.

Moot point as no one is available to babysit him anyway!

mumeeee · 18/05/2018 00:47

Half a bottle of wine wouldn't be more than 2 glasses and to me that seems fine. She was drinking it with a meal she wasn't getting drunk. In France I found parents did drink wine with lunch while looking after their children

Monty27 · 18/05/2018 00:58

mummee exactly that. I was thinking that too. Would it be ok if you were holidaying in Europe OP. Not knowing where you live.

Ah well. As long as mil wasn't swigging out of a blue bag on public transport. You might have a problem then. That's very doubtful though is it not?

greenlynx · 18/05/2018 01:00

I wouldn't drink half a bottle of wine while looking after children. I wouldn't drink at all while looking after someone's child.
Half a bottle of wine at lunch time sounds too excessive for me. Your MIL could easily have this lunch with her friend on a different day or have it without drinking. If she couldn't have lunch without wine - it means she has drink problem.
I think it's ok to have a glass of wine on Friday evening when children are in bed but still not half a bottle if you have small children.
Alcohol affects people's reactions and makes them less careful. I don't think that playgroup leaders, nursery workers and teachers at school are allowed to have a glass of wine with their lunch while at work.

Your DH thinks that it's ok because it's his mum and he sort of used to it. I would be suspicious about this idea that she drinks a lot normally and half a bottle is not a lot for her. What does it mean "she drinks a lot"?
I also don't think that she can do what she likes because you are not paying her. she needs consider your views and rules. You are paying her -- her time with GDD is her reward.

CatRen27 · 18/05/2018 01:00

I'm really surprised so many people are ok with this. If i was looking after someone else's child i definitely wouldn't drink. If dh and i are both out whike with dc we wouldn't both drink, in case anything went wrong or we weren't looking out for her properly after a few. Dd is 3yo, maybe we'll relax in a few years but until then i think it's irresponsible. Drinking a few glasses at night while dc are in bed is quite different to actively caring for a 2yo during the day.

Op I'd ask her when setting up the next childcare date whether she would mind not drinking. If its a problem then you'll need to find another arrangement. If she says that's fine then you've sorted it.

TheStoic · 18/05/2018 04:30

Obviously the replies would be different if the carer was a nanny or Cm etc. Totally unacceptable.

Why? They are both doing exactly the same thing. If it's unacceptable for one, it's unacceptable for the other.

Swipe left for the next trending thread