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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About elderly neighbours and my daughter’s piano

376 replies

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 15:34

My DD is practising for her Grade 4 piano exam, which is due to take in June. We live on the second floor of a very nice apartment building of six apartments. We are the only occupants with a school aged child living at home. DD is very quiet and polite.

Our neighbours on the fourth and fifth floors have complained about DD’s piano playing and asked whether she could wear a headset and use the electronic keyboard. While I understand that they would prefer not to hear the piano at all, DD only plays for 30’ or so a day, apart from on Friday afternoons when her piano teacher gives her an hour’s lesson.

TBH I am quite hurt! DD is beautifully behaved and we work hard to keep her usefully occupied. I would have appreciated a more supportive set of neighbours! AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 17:01

I haven’t been invited to their apartments to hear how loud the piano is, but it cannot possibly be louder than in our apartment, and the pieces are quite restrained!

OP posts:

Original poster

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 17:03

Yes, sadly their windows are so filthy that I cannot open my own courtyard windows (which are pristine) as so much dirt falls off them into my home! It sneaks in even without opening my windows.

OP posts:

TheFirstMrsDV · 17/05/2018 17:05

A piano in an apartment block is insanely selfish

thanks for this. It really made me laugh after a stressful day at work.

Hidingtonothing · 17/05/2018 17:07

Your neighbours would never cope where I live We have DC playing noisily (why do they have to scream continually though?!) right outside our living room window, a family who have cars coming and going with music thumping at all hours, 2 or 3 families who have music blaring in the garden at the slightest hint of sunshine and an elderly man next door who can only hear his TV if it's up full blast!

I (obviously) think your neighbours are being completely unreasonable, short periods of piano practice does not constitute antisocial noise and they are being utterly unrealistic if they expect to live in a flat and never hear other people going about their lives. If they want total silence they need to move somewhere remote and isolated, in short this is not your problem and I would be making zero compromises.

SpandexTutu · 17/05/2018 17:07

I could get my head round this if you did not have an alternate solution which would not disturb them. But you do. And you choose not to use it.
So you deliberately and knowingly annoy your neighbours every single day - just because you can.
I think you must secretly get a bit of a kick out of doing it.

Original poster

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 17:09

One set of the complaining neighbours has planted the verges at the end of our road with all sorts of expensive plants, which they tend. And worry about whether dogs will wee on. They are a bit precious and control freaky!

OP posts:

Contrabassista · 17/05/2018 17:11

Piano and keyboard are two totally different instruments. Would you want to turn up to a prom and watch Andreas Schiff playing a Casio or a clavinova? Nope.

SpandexTutu · 17/05/2018 17:12

Yes, sadly their windows are so filthy that I cannot open my own courtyard windows (which are pristine) as so much dirt falls off them into my home! It sneaks in even without opening my windows.
OK - I give up ! But thanks for that last comment - it's made me laugh out loud. The image of a steady stream of dirt coming off their windows and falling into your house is very funny.

Ivorbig1 · 17/05/2018 17:12

Someone playing a piano in a block of flats will always annoy somebody. There are some amazing electric piano’s, if your dd will be progressing I’d suggest one and a set of headphones.

SoupDragon · 17/05/2018 17:13

Apartment or terrace living requires mutual respect and tolerance on all sides, not silence

And mutual respect and tolerance on your part would be your dD
Using headphones some of the time so that it is not every day.

Ivorbig1 · 17/05/2018 17:13

Why is the cleanliness of ndn windows an issue?

Original poster

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 17:13

Sadly it’s not very funny. I have it on good authority that those windows have never been cleaned (building is Victorian!).

OP posts:

SpandexTutu · 17/05/2018 17:14

But I'm intrigued - where does all that dirt on their windows come from? Do you live under a mud waterfall? Get dive bombed by shitting ducks? Or do elves come out at night?

LoveInTokyo · 17/05/2018 17:14

Your neighbours should come and live in my flat.

Our next door neighbours have their TV just the other side of the wall from our bed, and when they smoke in their living room it comes into our bedroom through the cracks in the walls.

LoveInTokyo · 17/05/2018 17:16

I am now wondering who would be in a position to be “good authority” to the fact that the windows have not been cleaned since Victorian times!!!

SpandexTutu · 17/05/2018 17:17

I have it on good authority that those windows have never been
cleaned (building is Victorian!)
So who has been watching their windows day and night since 1837?

Juiceylucy09 · 17/05/2018 17:17

Yanbu. It is 30 mins of hearing a young girl practise the piano. They sound grumpy it gets worse with age.

Original poster

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 17:17

Just accumulated urban and pigeon stuff. The building was in very poor repair as it was in private hands until recently. Some common parts still need serious attention.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 17:18

The daughter (very elderly) of the family who built the building. She inherited it and knows its back story.

OP posts:

Onceuponatimethen · 17/05/2018 17:23

I think Yanbu op

I think you need to try ways to reduce the noise eg putting things in front of chimney but she has to be allowed to practice

LoveInTokyo · 17/05/2018 17:23

Well according to Wikipedia, the world’s oldest living person was born in 1901 (and lives in Japan, so is probably not the same person anyway).

BertrandRussell · 17/05/2018 17:24

AND......more ageism.

JustbackfromBangkok · 17/05/2018 17:25

Have you talked to the music teacher or your piano tuner about a mute rail?
Also, a thick rug under the piano and a duvet over the top will reduce the noise. A tuner can help with altering the felt on the hammers.
Thete are a number of things you can do and a quick google turns up lots of advice.

IceSwan · 17/05/2018 17:26

I don't think I'd mind 30 mins a day, I might quite like it. Saying that if it woke my newborn I would be furious... are they complaining just because they don't want to hear it or is it disturbing naps etc? I'd go with the suggestion that you all agree on a practice window of time

AlbertaSimmons · 17/05/2018 17:29

Personally I think YANBU, but maybe compromise and use the headphones for practice and not for the lesson? DS2 played tenor and alto sax and our next door neighbours (terraced house at the time) used to bang on the wall the minute he started his practice. He only practised after school and in a room that joined the party wall on the other side, where the neighbour was literally stone deaf, but still they banged. Didn't stop them allowing their DS to play the drums full bore at 10pm, oh no, that was different...

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