About elderly neighbours and my daughter’s piano

[user1499173618]

My DD is practising for her Grade 4 piano exam, which is due to take in June. We live on the second floor of a very nice apartment building of six apartments. We are the only occupants with a school aged child living at home. DD is very quiet and polite.

Our neighbours on the fourth and fifth floors have complained about DD’s piano playing and asked whether she could wear a headset and use the electronic keyboard. While I understand that they would prefer not to hear the piano at all, DD only plays for 30’ or so a day, apart from on Friday afternoons when her piano teacher gives her an hour’s lesson.

TBH I am quite hurt! DD is beautifully behaved and we work hard to keep her usefully occupied. I would have appreciated a more supportive set of neighbours! AIBU?

The neighbours above me play the piano and it’s very loud, their practice time seems to be bang on when my youngest goes to bed. Luckily the are exceptionally talented so it’s pleasant enough to listen to but sometimes it is really irritating. I’ve never complained because I consider that type of thing part and parcel of living in a flat. However their youngest has just started to learn violin and that a whole new kettle of fish. I am actually considering asking them to get him to practice in a bedroom which would mean he’s far away from out living room and to limit practice to half an hour, it’s one of the worst noises I’ve had to endure.

Every day? Poor neighbours!

In our previous apartment there were children/pianos/violins galore in the building, and we all heard practice constantly and no one minded.

Living in a flat is going to be more and more common as it is in many other places. Does that mean only countryside dwellers can learn instruments in future? Good grief

In other countries there’s an agreed quiet period 12-3 and 8pm-7am and what you do outside these hours is completely up to you. Much more sensible

Yanbu but you’ll be told you are as people on mumsnet seem to think you should never hear anything of your neighbours ever. Most tenancy agreements say something like ‘no noise beyond your flat between 11pm-9am’. If yours does then you’re fine. It’s not like she’s drumming through the night.

Could you speak to a fireplace specialist? I wonder if you could block your offshoot of the chimney iyswim, without affecting their offshoot of the chimney?

“It isn't anti social to play piano, actually I would say it was antisocial to complain about a child in your community learning an instrument. Apartment or terrace living requires mutual respect and tolerance on all sides, not silence!”

Agree

Can you put more sound proofing over the chimney at your end?

I'd suggest that DD starts playing at either 6am or 10 pm, then when the neighbours complain again you suggest she goes back to the original timings.

I think it's a good idea to tell people the non-negotiables and the negotiables.

She has to practise 30 minutes a day and an hour on the weekend. You can change the time, location if the piano, try to block the chimney etc. But she will be practicing. Then they have some power and influence but not a veto.

It's half an hour of piano. Your neighbors are being ridiculous.

The chimney is a communal part and we cannot do anything without involving the whole building. And it’s specifically the fourth floor neighbours who want to keep the chimneys free.

They sound miserable. I would enjoy listening to that at those times and even if I didn't I wouldn't say anything. If you moved out due to them being so awkward they end up with neighbours who party all night! It sounds like you have been as considerate as possible. If you live in a flat you have to expect a bit of noise from time to time.

It’s 30 minutes. People are blinkered when it comes to this kind of thing. I’d rather listen to 30 minutes piano playing than someone’s toddler having a screaming tantrum for that period of time....

My neighbours have a piano and they play the same tune over, and over, and over again and without improvement between the hours of 7 AM and 11 pm. In between that they have screaming rows with each other, with their children, and are generally unsociable.

So 30 minutes a day compared to that is like a walk in the park. Tell them to do one.

In our previous apartment there were children/pianos/violins galore in the building, and we all heard practice constantly and no one minded

Well, yes, because you were all doing the same thing. Just like in the last building I lived in, one of the girls played incredibly loud techno music all day and night and no one minded because we were all having parties/playing music/making noise ourselves. I miss that place, but I can see it wouldn't have been for everyone....

Basically, it doesn't matter what the nature of the noise is (a delightful, graceful little girl solemnly practising her piano etudes or an ugly old man doing a nude bucket dance for half an hour a day) the point is that your neighbours think it's unreasonable and you think it's fine.

What to do? Can you and your neighbours go halves on some soundproofing?

I'm sure to you she plays beautifully but to the neighbors she'll just sound like she's trampling on the piano.

I would say it was antisocial to complain about a child in your community learning an instrument. Apartment or terrace living requires mutual respect and tolerance on all sides, not silence

This, in spades. They are being ridiculous.

Good Luck to your DD for her Grade 4..

I always think that if you can hear neighbours playing musical instruments or singing, you have moved to a nice neighbourhood.

It would be pretty near the bottom of the list of things I might complain about, unless it was going on for hours on end or was happening late at night.

I think your neighbours are being unreasonable. If they choose to use the chimney shaft then they run the risk of noise travelling.

YANBU. The MN obsession with silence at all times is absurd.

It really isn’t unpleasant when she plays. They just want total silence. I tend to agree with the PP who point out just how much worse it could be!

It's 30 minutes, that doesn't sound unreasonable to me. However if you can afford it, I would look into a digital piano. Some of the newer ones are amazing. I have two professional pianist in the family - both have got rid of their pianos in favour of digital ones. If they find them acceptable then I doubt a grade 4 pianist will have any issue.

They are being ridiculous, just ignore them.

My neighbours DS at my old house used to have band practice in their garage. I few week in i went over to congratulate them on their endeavours as they were actually starting to play tunes rather than making an unholy racket. You got to support the youngsters not condemn them!

If you live in an apartment block you can’t expect total silence. 30 mins a day doesn’t sound unreasonable.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s 30 minutes of piano practice or singing, baby crying or listening to music on the radio within the context you describe. The point is, is it unreasonable? In my view, not at all. It’s at a very suitable time of day and within a shortish time frame.

Unless there are specific regulations in your apartment that forbid music practice, just smile nicely and say she will be continuing although if they ever have a pressing need for her to alter the time you would happily try to accommodate them.

Living close to our neighbours does entail a certain amount of noise.