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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About elderly neighbours and my daughter’s piano

376 replies

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 15:34

My DD is practising for her Grade 4 piano exam, which is due to take in June. We live on the second floor of a very nice apartment building of six apartments. We are the only occupants with a school aged child living at home. DD is very quiet and polite.

Our neighbours on the fourth and fifth floors have complained about DD’s piano playing and asked whether she could wear a headset and use the electronic keyboard. While I understand that they would prefer not to hear the piano at all, DD only plays for 30’ or so a day, apart from on Friday afternoons when her piano teacher gives her an hour’s lesson.

TBH I am quite hurt! DD is beautifully behaved and we work hard to keep her usefully occupied. I would have appreciated a more supportive set of neighbours! AIBU?

OP posts:
NancyJoan · 20/05/2018 19:11

We get it, OP, you have lots of money. No need to keep driving that home.

CosyLulu · 20/05/2018 19:47

Nancy seriously? What an embarrassing thing to say in a public forum about someone you don't know.

StrangeLookingParasite · 20/05/2018 22:50

Another compromise would be not to play every day.

To be a musicien, you practice every day. No exceptions.

StrangeLookingParasite · 20/05/2018 22:51

We get it, OP, you have lots of money. No need to keep driving that home

Would you like some wine with that chip, Nancy?

popcornaddict · 20/05/2018 22:52

Its a tough one because I totally wouldn't mind (my NDN grankid used to practice the trumpet when she was young) but then what if it was drums? I would hate that. Your neighbours might not like piano the way I wouldn't like drums

LakieLady · 20/05/2018 23:41

YANBU!

It's only 30-40 minutes and at a reasonable time of day, and she's grade 4 so it can't be too dreadful.

Unlike a schoolfriend of mine, whose early efforts at violin were so dreadful, her parents used to make go an practise in the outside lavatory, or the boyfriend I had in my teens, who played the drums (when I walked to his house, I could hear him playing as I walked across the common, half a mile away).

Touchmybum · 20/05/2018 23:48

TG we live in a detached house! :) Neighbours would have had to suffer the cello/piano/guitar/tin whistle playing of DD1, the clarinet/piano bla bla of DD2, and DS with guitar and piano!!!

I don't think it's unreasonable to specify times. They can do something else to drown the sound out if it bothers him.

We had neighbours in our flat in London many years ago complain because we used our tumble dryer.... next door neighbour was a nosey auld witch who had nothing else to do but complain, and the one upstairs appeared in an article in 'Woman's Own' because he couldn't find a woman.... wonder why....

QuackPorridgeBacon · 21/05/2018 09:02

30 minutes a day is fine. If they can’t handle that small amount of noise they can move. If you live in close to neighbours you have to understand there will be noise. Those saying practice with headphones are being ridiculous. She is learning and practicing playing in front of people, why is that a bad thing? Just because the neighbors complain doesn’t mean you should stop, those suggesting you do purely because of a complaint are being stupid.

Basta · 21/05/2018 09:21

30 minutes a day isn't a lot of practice for Grade 4...

nellieellie · 21/05/2018 09:35

I think if you live in an apartment, you have to accept youwill hear the noise of other people going about their lives. A child practising a piano is a normal, reasonable activity. Half an hour is an entirely reasonable period of time. If the noise is travelling up the chimney, there is little you can do to insulate further other than perhaps placing more insulation in front of your chimney breast, so as not to interfere with their use of the chimney.
I think if it were me, Id point out that piano playing is expressly provided for in the lease, that your daughter practises for only half an hour a day between x and y. Ask if there is another time that would be less inconvenient- after school hours obviously. Ask if you could move the piano elsewhere to help (I know you’ve said not, but still, the offer shows you are trying to be as reasonable as possible). I would then just be clear that this will continue, that you are responsible in not allowing your DCs to play music loudly or be noisy around the apartment, but that you do not think this an unreasonable activity.

VerbenaBoriensis · 21/05/2018 09:42

I s'pose u could soundproof the room in yr flat that she plays in? Expensive though.

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 21/05/2018 09:44

I had to listen to the "Okey Cokey" all Sunday as the people out back's kids were playing it on loop.

If I was a true MNer I should have hoiked my pants up & gone round there I told them to stop aparrently.

In real life however, I accept that people around me have their own lives & they can do what the fuck they like between the hours of 07:00 & 23:00 and there's nothing I can do about it.

Hide the thread, ignore the neighbours & get on with living your life busybody free.....

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 21/05/2018 09:45

I s'pose u could soundproof the room in yr flat that she plays in?

Easier to ignore the idiot neighbours TBH....

boredretiree · 21/05/2018 10:24

Having read all the posts( including people who have to be rude to get their point across) I've revised my opinion and think yes this is reasonable enough and daughter should continue to play. 😊

Leapfrog44 · 21/05/2018 11:15

I'd absolutely hate someone practicing the piano next door! Can't she wear headphones??

QuackPorridgeBacon · 21/05/2018 11:21

Hiphopfrog Have you not read at the very least, the ops responses?

CosyLulu · 21/05/2018 11:59

hiphopfrog yeah - nobody thought of that ... Confused

OP why don’t you buy some ear muffs for the old miseries instead?

Xenia · 21/05/2018 12:04

It's not easy but 30 minutes a day presumably not in the middle of the night is something they could just put ujp with surely?

Our elderly neightbours used to invite us round so they could listen to our piano playing when we were very little - they were a pair of spinsters, very old ladies and I remember they gave us all their piano music too just before they died and some of it was so old - 1800s (no value though).

QuackPorridgeBacon · 21/05/2018 12:53

Xenia That sounds lovely.

StrangeLookingParasite · 21/05/2018 13:32

I'd absolutely hate someone practicing the piano next door!

Are people born this much of a curmudgeon, or is it more something you achieve with training?

Practicing every day is what it takes to be a musician. Someone playing the piano at grade four level, even with the repetition necessary to iron out the hard bits, is not that bad a sound.

The fact is that it is not unreasonable to expect some kind of noise when living in close confines with other people. It's a fact of life.

Xenia · 21/05/2018 20:22

Quack, I was reading about in my old diaries recently. We still visited them in their 90s until they died. They were very Victorian almost, ancient spinster ladies. I suppose they were probably in their 80s in the 1970s so born in the late 1800s. However these are detached houses so I should not really be on the thread as no one was disturbing anyone.

ArcheryAnnie · 21/05/2018 20:29

I live in a very big block of flats, and a certain amount of noise has to be tolerated.

The one noise I actively enjoy hearing is the sound of someone playing piano in one of the flats off my staircase. I've never mentioned it to anyone as I don't want them to become selfconscious and stop.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 21/05/2018 20:41

Xenia That really does sound like a nice memory to have. And so sweet about the music sheets before they passed. I can picture them being Victorian, I’d love to have known someone from such an era.

kb2405 · 12/07/2018 11:25

If your neighbour has approached you the noise must be a problem. We live in a semi detached house and our neighbours' young child practices the piano at 7am. I have politely suggested that practice would be better later in the day but have been informed that early am is the only suitable time for them. We are considerate neighbours who are supportive of him learning to play a musical instrument but we value our quiet time, especially my husband who works shifts and needs to rest/sleep.

Pinky747 · 21/11/2018 14:40

I live next door to a musical family, & it's driving me mad. They wake me up on weekends & have Chaz n' Dave jams on Sunday nights. I tried being nice & asking them to keep the noise down, or to consider moving the Piano away from my bedroom wall. I live in a 1 bedroom flat, & cannot escape the noise. It's insanely annoying & loud. I couldn't care less what they do when I'm not there. They also have a studio room extension in the loft. After I asked last time for them to keep the noise down, the neighbour agreed. Apologised & shook my hand, sadly since then it has just got worse. The 2 young boys bang on the Piano whenever they see fit too. Tonight I will try again, this time I will not be so nice.