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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About elderly neighbours and my daughter’s piano

376 replies

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 15:34

My DD is practising for her Grade 4 piano exam, which is due to take in June. We live on the second floor of a very nice apartment building of six apartments. We are the only occupants with a school aged child living at home. DD is very quiet and polite.

Our neighbours on the fourth and fifth floors have complained about DD’s piano playing and asked whether she could wear a headset and use the electronic keyboard. While I understand that they would prefer not to hear the piano at all, DD only plays for 30’ or so a day, apart from on Friday afternoons when her piano teacher gives her an hour’s lesson.

TBH I am quite hurt! DD is beautifully behaved and we work hard to keep her usefully occupied. I would have appreciated a more supportive set of neighbours! AIBU?

OP posts:
Iftheshoefits · 17/05/2018 17:33

Well she's not playing at unsociable hours 11pm -7am? Someone correct me if I'm wrong... Maybe u should ask if they have any requests!!Grin

woollyheart · 17/05/2018 17:43

Lots of people and families live in apartment blocks. It is insanely selfish to think that none of them should learn to play a musical instrument.

Iftheshoefits · 17/05/2018 17:54

Just re read my post-I meant that she's not playing at unreasonable hours-I wasn't asking if she was! Just querying what unsociable hours are..

Think I must be dehydrated.... Grin

BeyondThePage · 17/05/2018 17:55

If it is an electric piano and she does not want to use headphones for practise, then just turn it down, it surely has a volume control?

Or does your DD only like to perform loudly for people for their appreciation? Can't you appreciate her playing by being in the same room with a lower volume? Do the neighbours complain about TV noise? If not then take that as a level and go a touch lower - they'd have nothing to complain about.

NotAgainYoda · 17/05/2018 17:58

Another user , another silly unreasonable thread

You casually slipped in part way through that it's a digital piano and yet it seemed to have not occurred to you she could turn it down

A nice side order of implied ageism

Nikephorus · 17/05/2018 18:00

So you have the capacity to play through headphones - but don't?
You know you are upsetting your neighbours and have an easy and instant solution, but don't use it?
This ^^ Why bother someone else if you can easily avoid it? Confused

Personwithhorse · 17/05/2018 18:01

We quite like hearing our neighbour’s child practising in the early evening - not a piano though

HollowTalk · 17/05/2018 18:05

Does this mean you can hear your TV and they can hear yours?

purplegreen99 · 17/05/2018 18:06

maybe compromise and use the headphones for practice

I think the OP says she has a piano and an electric keyboard, but a keyboard is a different instrument with unweighted keys and a different sound, so playing it isn't a substitute for piano practice. If the OP has the cash and wants to bend over backwards to make concessions to her neighbours, there are some pretty good digital pianos available and these would have the option to turn down the sound so that you can listen at a lower volume if you don't want to use headphones, but personally I think 30 mins a day is not unreasonable...

NurseButtercup · 17/05/2018 18:10

it's a digital piano

I was coming on to say that 30mins per day is not anti-social and your neighbors Abu. For this response I envisioned that your DD is learning on an upright piano.

However, if it's an electronic piano is there a reason why you prefer to piss off your neighbours and opt not to use headphones?

purplegreen99 · 17/05/2018 18:11

Hang on...it's a digital piano???? I thought you said you had a keyboard and an acoustic piano OP? If it's digital then YABU - just turn the sound down a bit. It doesn't have to be very quiet, just a bit quieter and then surely the neighbours would be happy and you and your dd would still be able to enjoy it.

Porpoises · 17/05/2018 18:11

If the piano can play through headphones, why can't it play out loud but at a lower volume??

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 17/05/2018 18:12

Has she been playing her three Grade 4 pieces over and over? Perhaps they’re just fed up of them... They won’t be getting the certificate so perhaps want more variety Grin

PrimalLass · 17/05/2018 18:18

your neighbours like to enjoy their home in peace and quiet without listing to a piano for literally hours every single week.

I'd like to hear no noises from buses, or dogs barking, or next door's sliding door. But I chose to not live in a detached house in the middle of nowhere.

QueenOfIce · 17/05/2018 18:20

Who cares how well behaved she is?! Confused your neighbours are not willing participants in your daughters practice, if you're the one making the noise it's incumbent upon you to make sure you take precautions to not disrupt everyone else.

I say this is an ex next door neighbour of a piano playing child and it was murder. The no 1 reason why we moved. I have no idea why others feel it's ok to force their noise on those around them.

Candlelight123 · 17/05/2018 18:24

Use the headphones for goodness sake it's very selfish not to if you are able to. Not everyone is going to appreciate your DD's practice.

Tentomidnight · 17/05/2018 18:32

She likes to play for people, and to be appreciated
Massive drip feed there OP - you didn’t mention that your DD is a special snowflake, whose whims must trump the opinions of others Hmm

Iflyaway · 17/05/2018 18:33

I would have appreciated a more supportive set of neighbours!

Welcome to the real world OP.

My upstairs neighbour does singing practice. You can hear it through the whole house. Drives me potty. And other neighbours, we had to sign a joint letter.

Life is not only about you in your flat, neighbours' peace is important too.

Racecardriver · 17/05/2018 18:36

YANBU. Tell that their comments have upset your DD so much that she has decided to give up piano and take up drums. You have found a teacher that spe ialises in death metal to teach her!

But on a serious note, if they wanted complete silence they shouldn't have moved into a flat. Exposure to normal levels of household noise is a risk you take when moving into a flat. Anyone who try to suggest that half an hour of piano is not normal household noise is a complete weirdo.

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 17/05/2018 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 17/05/2018 18:52

Yanbu, the posters who disagree are probably the ones who object to children playing in gardens

Total nonsense.

AlexandraLeaving · 17/05/2018 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

arethereanyleftatall · 17/05/2018 19:05

Helpful responses of carpets/mutters/chimney blockers etc are all pointless as the op clearly has no intention of trying to find a compromise.

Responses like 'so no child can play music ever' are childish, given this particular child, can still play her piano, but with headphones.

Seems like a good opportunity to teach your darling child that we don't always in life do exactly as we please, sometimes we're considerate of others. doubt you will

arethereanyleftatall · 17/05/2018 19:13

And, the fact that you or other posters on this thread like listening to a grade 4 piano, is irrelevant. Your neighbours don't.

BeyondThePage · 17/05/2018 19:14

Yanbu, the posters who disagree are probably the ones who object to children playing in gardens

nope - mine is doing grade 8 piano, but we are considerate neighbours and keep the volume down/headphones in 90% of the time.