About elderly neighbours and my daughter’s piano

[user1499173618]

My DD is practising for her Grade 4 piano exam, which is due to take in June. We live on the second floor of a very nice apartment building of six apartments. We are the only occupants with a school aged child living at home. DD is very quiet and polite.

Our neighbours on the fourth and fifth floors have complained about DD’s piano playing and asked whether she could wear a headset and use the electronic keyboard. While I understand that they would prefer not to hear the piano at all, DD only plays for 30’ or so a day, apart from on Friday afternoons when her piano teacher gives her an hour’s lesson.

TBH I am quite hurt! DD is beautifully behaved and we work hard to keep her usefully occupied. I would have appreciated a more supportive set of neighbours! AIBU?

They could live next door to the poster playing NWA in the garden. A few bars of Fuck The Police might focus your neighbours' minds.

We have a digital piano, integrated into the acoustic piano. The headset is fine for practising scales but DD actually likes to play to me/other family members when she practises for help.

Check your lease - before your neighbours do and cause trouble. Some have weird clauses about instruments. Ours says if we have a piano it has to be on casters!

They sound like miserable fuckers who should be living in a remote hamlet.

Don't even engage with them.by specifying practice times etc. This legitimises their demand. Just ignore.

If they come to your door again, give a sad smile and say "i'm not stopping my daughter from learning to play a real piano" then shut the door. Twats.

So you have the facility to reduce or stop the noise altogether but CBA. Nice.

Your neighbours are being unreasonable.

A child is learning an instrument to a high standard; that is a positive. As long as she is practicing during normal sociable hours and complies with noise ordinances, she isn't doing anything wrong. Plus, your building specifically provides that pianos are allowed; put a copy of the deed through their doors to remind them.

The Floor 4 neighbours should be told that the noise is likely travelling through the chimney which they want to keep in working order. You would be happy to have it closed up; would they?

I do wish people would stop the casual ageism. But that aside.

Check your lease. Make sure you are absolutely within your rights. Then write them a letter offering a choice of times that would suit them but making it politely clear that it is only the time that is negotiable, the 30 minutes a day isn't. Then just carry on.

As I said in a PP, we are allowed to have a piano and to practise for an hour a day. We aren’t infringing any rules.

30 minutes a day is not unreasonable. My neighbour plays scales at 10pm!

Well of course she likes to play for people!!

Fucking hell, have some people forgotten how to live or something?! We should all just be silent, staring at appliances with headphones in. Completely detached, but at least we're not bothering anyone. Let's just forget about music and art and joy. Jesus!!!

I’m a double bass player so never live in apartments. The sound travels and it’s just not fair as it’s my job so I do a lot more than 30 mins a day practice. When I move I always go round to the neighbours and say that if it’s pissing them off to please call/text/shout as I hate the thought of them sat there wishing me dead when I’m practising! I haven’t had a problem so far but have many colleagues who have and do, and it’s a nightmare for them.
I used to teach a lot and in fact lots of parents would object to their kids practising which was pretty mind boggling. Lots of them used to practice at school which I know isn’t ideal but might give you some respite till you sort a more permanent solution out.
It’s going to get worse if it’s not addressed as when she moves up the grades she will need to do more practice.
Have you explained about the exam and tried killing them with kindness? Failing that, legally there’s probably little they can do but it’s horrible living with conflict with neighbours, and not exactly encouraging for her if she’s committed to her music. Is there a building committee you could talk to about this?
Wish her loads of luck in her grade 4!

You sound totally reasonable to me. I can't believe that people think those who live in flats shouldn't be able to learn music! If you can afford it though, I would try to get an electronic piano with fully-weighted keys - just because, if she's at Grade 4 level, your dd is obviously a pretty talented musician and might want to practise more as she gets older.

I can’t offer any choice of times other than later at night or in the early morning, which they won’t want. Timing is not the issue (they volunteered as much) and I don’t want to have the neighbours to have that say so either.

I am fairly sensitive to noise but would be totally fine with 30 mins of piano practice a day. Particularly when you consider that if she keeps it up she's going to be a joy to listen to in a few years.

I've had inconsiderate noisy neighbours in the past and it's knowing that they're deliberately choosing to hoover at 3am/play loud techno all day every day that makes it horrible to live with. A child practicing a musical instrument is totally different.

Perhaps if your daughter isn't able to play the piano she might like to take up a new hobby such as running up and down the communal stairs shrieking, practicing golf in the parking area, etc?

YANBU at all.
Good luck to your daughter, politely rebuff them.

So they don't even have to listen to her scales?

They are being very unreasonable. Scales drive me mad, but pieces are fine.

I think your neighbours are being very unreasonable if it is only for 30 minutes at a time. And a keyboard isn't the same - if she's having piano lessons she needs to practice on a piano. It's hardly a noise nuisance for that short time!

These may help:
-If it is echoing up the chimney you could try a chimney sheep (they're draft excluders but should stop some sound too).
passionforfreshideas.com/articles/sheep-chimney/

• Put the piano on a rug to dampen the sound.
• There are also dampeners you can buy for the piano. Here is a good site with loads of ideas/advice.

livingpianos.com/piano-questions/how-to-make-your-piano-quieter/ Hope you all find a way forward. :-)

So, other than having everyone saying YANBU, what did you start a thread for, exactly? Because you've come back at everyone saying YABU saying "no, I'm not"

We are in a ground floor flat, our next door neighbours are pensioners and dd plays both violin and piano. I know how irritating noise is to other people, be it the most beautiful piano concerto ever, or Eminem.

That it's classical music matters diddley. They have complained, you should do something to soundproof her. I always remind dd that she has to play only between certain hours, and if not then she plays with headphones. If my neighbours were disturbed by her enough to complain I'd not be starting a whiney "No, I'm not BU" thread, I'd be mortified, apologise and do something about it.

When I was living next door to a group of students who came in at 4 in the morning four times a week and played thumping drum and bass for 4 or 5 hours until they went to bed I would have given my eyeteeth to be able to listen to some decent piano playing instead.

Your neighbours are being completely unreasonable to expect complete silence 24 hours a day. If they want that they shouldn't live in a flat where the noise from neighbours is going to impact on everyone from time to time.

I'm afraid you're just going to have to explain to them that DD needs to practice and as she's learning to play the piano and not an electronic keyboard, she has to practice on a piano.

So you have the capacity to play through headphones - but don't?
You know you are upsetting your neighbours and have an easy and instant solution, but don't use it?
Errmmmm - let me think.....

YABU!!!!!

For 30 mins a day they can jog on. It's a flat - you have to accept you'll hear other people's lives. It's not an antisocial time and it's only for 30 mins. I played piano in a flat when I was a kid and practised/had lessons at home, and if anyone ever complained, my mum would have sent them away with a flea in their ear!

There's a bloke near my parents who plays his bagpipes outside a couple of times a week. I love it!

If neighbours complain about something, you have to decide if their complaint is reasonable or not - I guess that is why you've started this thread.

The majority say YANBU. Lots of neighbours complain about the slightest little thing and and not all complaints are worthy of the time of day!

Do you have hard floors? If so, could you get a thick rug to go under the piano to lessen the sound? I think you sound very considerate and wish my neighbours were as quiet as you.