Who's in the right here?

[HarshingMyMellow]

DPs friend came to our house earlier to drop off a bag of photos for us to sort through (celebrating a big birthday for DP and want a sort of montage.)

I was going through them and found pictures of DP cuddling up to a woman while he was out with a group of friends for a stag do. I was a bit as to why he was the only one with pictures with her, why she was the only woman there and why she was in the group picture of them all.
DP had his arm around her in the group photo while his friends stood separately.

The aspect that really made me suspicious was that when DP showed me his photos from the stag do, she wasn't in any of them.

I asked him about it and he laughed and said she was the barmaid.
Now, I could maybe believe that if it was just one photo, but a whole bunch? And the fact it feels like he concealed the photos from me? My spidey senses are tingling.

When he explained that she was the barmaid I just gave him a 'Hmm okay' because I'm tired, on a lot of pain relief after an op and genuinely cannot be bothered with having an argument.

He has now taken to calling me crazy, nuts, strange, a psychopath and that I'm out of my mind before stomping off to bed demanding an apology?

I haven't directly accused him of anything, I said that it was a bit odd but that's about it.

I'm now thinking that his reaction is quite defensive and that I'm well within my rights to question who the random woman at his friends stag do is?

So AIBU? Or is he acting strange?

I will never understand why people lie and mess up a great relationship. Whatever happened that night, if he’d been honest, it may have been something that could have been worked out and now he’s fucked it up! (Excuse my language too but he’s really made me cross on your behalf!). Idiot! I think all you can do for now is concentrate on recovering from your operation and then think about what you want to do. Hope you feel better soon 💐

"the fact that she hadn't appeared in ANY of the photos that he showed me when he returned"

Judging from your reactions here I couldn't possibly imagine why he might have censored such photos..

@Storm4star he is the one that'll lose out in the end. I've propped him up over the past few years while he was becoming self-employed, done everything for him (washing, cleaning, cooking...) and he attempts to stitch me up!

Whatever it is, it's obviously big enough to hide. So if that's the case, then he may as well be on his way.

I'm not frightened to be alone, in fact I'd rather be alone than with a liar.

Thank you

@balsamicbarbara excuse me?

harshingmymellow a man that had done nothing wouldnt of acted like your "d"p did. Hes acting like oh fuck ive been rumbled and is doing a piss poor job to convince you he hasnt

Shame he doesn't seem forthcoming with the truth. I'm sure you mentioned that he's a bad liar which surely he's aware of himself? I had a similar suspicion with DP years ago after he'd lied about being on a night out (he was staying away for the night with a mutual friend for an event). He lied to me and only admitted part of the story after me pushing (as I had evidence) and I found out some further information by snooping, not too bad as in no evidence of cheating, but still something I wasn't comfortable with. I never confronted him over it, although I wish I had now. Occasionally it still plays on my mind.

Can you find the Facebook page for the bar she DJ'd in?
Scroll back to the February date and see what was listed as happening that night?

Or check the bar website schedule of events and scroll back to Feb.

At least you'll see if there is a female DJ listed etc

Good idea checking the Facebook page of the bar.

His second story does make it
Sound worse than sticking with the first one.

I hope you find out the truth OP.

@ItsNachoCheese exactly. I'm finding it so hard to believe his story now it's change, surely he'd of just told me that in the first place,

No matter what, he's coming across as an arsehole.

@Lavalamped it's only been a couple of days but the fact that I know he's lying is driving me mad. I'm sorry that you've gone through this also, I wouldn't wish the feeling of being unsettled and confused on anyone. It's awful.

@beIindaBlinked very good idea. I'll search out the bar on Facebook and google. See if I can find anything. Can't believe I didn't think of that in the first place! Thank you.

@Violetshift thank you. X

Guilty as fuck

Years ago (before phone cameras) I had a one night thing with a guy.

When the photos of that night were developed there was one of me and this guy that showed such obvious chemistry even my mum noticed when she saw the pic.

'Twas a great night though

Sorry for the insensitive smiley there!!

I was young, free and single back then.

@Crunchymum don't apologise, the only insensitive person in this is my partner. He isn't young, free or single. Bastard.

He just came down to the room I'm staying in at the moment and told me that he thinks it best we separate before it gets nasty.

So I guess that's it, no answers, no explanations; just him walking away.

Who has bags of photos these days?

@gravytrains oh please read up! His friend had dropped off a bag of photos that he'd printed off especially for me. I needed them for DPs birthday montage that I was planning on.

So why would his friend print off those particular ones?

Gah the separating threat. Opening up a void so it turns round on you and you end up begging him to stay.

Sorry your going through this at such a painful time OP. I'm up with an ear infection if you want to rant it out.

Sounds very much like he cheated and he desperately wants to avoid the consequences of it. Why on earth would he suggest separating if he had done nothing wrong?

So sorry Harshing

I am sorry. He sounded a nob on your other thread tbh and now he is far worse...a stupid, lying, cheating arse who thinks he can pull the wool over your eyes. I think you dealt with seeing the pics in a remarkably calm way. I would go mental if i found a photo of sone woman sitting comfortably on my husband's lap!

Of course its best to call it a day now nobhead has been rumbled. You are way too good for this loser.

From his actions alone i would assume he is either still seeing her or did something unforgivable that night. What a total shit. Please look after yourself as best you can and let that man child strop off. I imagine he will be back within a week begging for another chance. Trust your instincts.

He is guilty and got caught tried to make out your the crazy one and now he is running away. What a complete prick! Op I'm sorry you are going through this he doesn't deserve you one bit xx