I am not ok

[Incarnationsofunderstanding]

AIBU to think sometimes that is the hardest thing to say?

Kind of want to start a # but daren’t.

For those who don’t appear to have collapsed.

For those who get up every day and work and look after kids and care for family and friends. For those who laugh and smile and function and drive onwards.

“I am not ok” Are sometimes the hardest words to say?

I am not ok.

Lilacwine1 that's great! I'm obsessed with his music. And Jeff Buckley and the deeply unfashionable Fairport Convention.

ShakingAndConfused your thread is full of people who will support you.

for everyone that's not OK.

I agree. Although even if I did say it, nobody would do anything to help so there's no point saying it!

Telling someone 'I'm not okay' was one of the most liberating things I've done and opened up a wonderful dialogue with those close to me. I'm still not okay 100% of the time but nobody is.

It's totally okay to not be okay. I try to avoid 'fine' nowadays as I used to use it to brush people off and hide my depression.

I’m never going to be ok. Just waiting for it to end because then I will be. Thanks, illness, thanks.

I'm really glad you started this thread, OP.

You never know who you may have helped take that first step towards telling someone 'I'm not okay' and making a positive change in their life.

to everyone not feeling okay.

I too am FINE

Fucked up
Insecure
Neurotic and
Emotional.

It takes a lot to say you're Not Okay I think.

Not being okay is an international pandemic. I'm not okay either. I'm starting phone and online therapy (no time to go to an appointment).

I'm not ok. No one knows and it was hard even to type those words. I've not been ok for many years, but go through periods where it's not so bad, a the moment it's bad. I don't want to talk to anyone i know about it, I'd like to see someone about it and get more objective and unbiased point of view, but I don't live in the UK anymore and don't know where to start with organizing that kind of thing... Plus the thought of admitting any of what i feel and trying to even articulate it to someone terrifies me.

If it wasn't for my dc i don't think I'd be here. My love to all of you who are not ok.

Some days I am not okay,
some days I am.
Some days it seems to take
the all that I can.
Saying it’s rough
It’s is a hard thing to do,
owning your life can
some days help you through.
Speaking your truth
you give it a name.
Knowing it’s there,
You choose the frame.

Search for the love that
Lies deep within.
That first step,
it’s the hardest to begin.
But each small victory
is a great big win.

I am not ok but no one knows in RL.

I am not ok either. It's just the way we are to try and carry on pretending everything is fine. Only a couple of people know that I have severe PTSD. Somehow I think I hope that it will just go away if I pretend it's not there.

BillyWigSting. I could have written your post. I still have days when I’m not ok, but more days when I am ok, if that makes sense. I just find life quite difficult generally. Finally after a big life change like you and reaching my 50’s I’m more at peace and can sometimes even feel happy.

I'm not ok either. I told two people close to me, one got angry the other completely ignored me. So there's no point telling people.

Im not ok..

the mask i wear is getting tighter and is suffocating.

Every time i pick myself up i fall down again (or am pushed) and I am ready for the hills.

My instincts are screaming at me that this is as good as it gets - which i know objectively is more than likely untrue - because i am looking at the last 10m years of my life and seeing my future as a repeat of said decade.

Taking things day by day is helping a little - mindfulness has been incredible for me. It doesnt dilute the thoughts and feelings i have, rather it guides the mind to accept the thoughts as they come and then let them go; to not berate myself for feeling bad (which is a huge issue)

I get pissed off at all these workplace initiatives about wellbeing - its not new, mental health issues have been rising over the last decade i believe - where were these interventions then?

Gah!!

for you all.

In case it helps - if you are not ok and it would help to talk about it,, but you don't feel you can talk to people around you, or when you do try to talk, they don't listen, the Samaritans are there for you. They can't solve your problems but they will listen and be supportive without judging you. Sometimes it helps just to talk.Their 24/7 freephone number is 116 123, or you can email them at [email protected].

for so many of you who are finding it hard to say I am not ok.

Thank-you for starting this op and I hope it has helped a little bit to say that you aren't coping. I'm not OK either - I've been struggling with depression for the past year and I can barely keep my shit together most days. Then my dad was diagnosed with cancer, my mum is a narcissist so I don't trust her to look after him and I don't live close enough to check on him more than weekly. DH doesn't get it and thinks I'm ok. It's hard being alone but surrounded by people - i think there's nothing worse than feeling lonely in a crowd. Thank-you again op for giving us a space to say this - I think just posting this might help me a tiny bit

I'm struggling today. Cancelled plans with friends because I realised even though they're some of my closest friends I feel lonely because I can't talk to them about what's eating me up. Being with them is lonelier than being on my own. That hit me hard this morning. They know the long term situation I'm in but it's never mentioned and I can't say I'm not ok to them.
On a more positive note I dragged myself out with my dog and ended up walking with a stranger, lovely older man, who told me stories of his navy days and really cheered me up for the time I was with him.

I wasn't ok. I think I am now though but not 100% sure. I went to a specialist and got help because something wasn't right with me.

I spent years in denial, adamantly convincing myself and everyone around me I was fine. I genuinely believed it too.

Facing the reality of how not ok I was was really hard. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm ok or just being more successful at convincing myself I am.

I’m not ok

I’ve been through a shit 18 months.
People think that because my DD looks well, she must be ok. Well she ain’t. DH feels the same. Sick of family saying but she’s ok. Yes she’s ok, but the risk to her life is still there. Mourning for what should have been. Not what it is.
Few people understand, but it’s getting boring for them now.

I look back and see a few years ago I wasn't OK. Felt it at the time but didn't see how bad it was. Only now when things have changed around me for the better I can see how not OK I was.

But I doubt that anyone would recognise that this was the case. Like a PP I'm the one in my life that needs to be OK. So I'm good at keeping the ship afloat but if felt like I was drowning.

I am in good (physical) health, am well educated, have a job that I love, live in a lovely big house, have a beautiful, clever and funny daughter, have been with my soulmate for 20 years and we have no financial worries.

But I am not OK.