Stop my daughter going to Childminder

[Olu123]

Please help me. My four year old dd has been going to a childminder four days a week after school for a year now. She’s a single mum with another dd similar age to mine and of course other kids she childminds.
Twice I pick dd up, there’s a man in the house. He doesn’t hide it, has been by the door both times. First time It happened I didn’t think too much of it, second time I get worried as he in fact tells me dd had a nice day etc
Childminder offers no explanation just chats about what they have been up to in the day.
I Picked dd up yesterday (cm has only my dd and hers on Tuesdays no other kids) and asking her about her day, she says cm took her to the park, just out of curiosity I ask if anyone else was there and she says yes (mentions the mans name) was there, they met him at the park but he didn’t come to the house today.
Am I right to be horrified? I suspect new bf or maybe not so new as my dd’S vocabulary has just gone up so maybe he’s been around and I never asked and she never said.
Are cms allowed to have other adults around while working?
I’m sure the guy doesn’t live there but I’m so Scared now That im almost sick and don’t think I can let her go there anymore . Also worried and wonder if iabu as dd loves it there, wants to go and will ask if she’s going to cm even on the weekend. loves her dd as well.
Sorry for the rambling but so confused right now.

@Boofay - what a lovely lovely post.

Professional, informative, non judgemental and kind. So reassuringly heartwarming to read your words of advice

Will you come back and let us know who the man is OP?

Thanks @Luisa27!

The childminder in question should, at the very least, be forthcoming in letting her parents know who is in the house when their children are present. It's courteous, professional and she should give a valid reason why this person is there really.

Pull her out if you are so unhappy and send her to a nursery pay for your contract notice period as you will be liable to pay this even if you do not use her service since you are terminating and this would not fall under the breach of contract clause.

It would be relatively simply to go to court and get a CCJ against you if you do not pay the contracted Notice period and no amount of off feelings void your obligations for this liability.

Not relevant - but how does a child minder go to the loo? I mean, what if your mindees are there, just playing or whatever - do you just pop up and be quick like you would if you were on your own? And then, second scenario - what if a friend /sister/whoever is round for lunch and you need to go - you can't leave them alone with the mindees right?

???

Blimey, so many people don't understand how CM works

We used a CM for a long while because we wanted someone who went out and about and took the DC with her - even to speak to a man and have visitors to the house!!

TotHappy - depends on the ages of children, but basically you take sensible steps to keep them safe (school aged child happily playing on the floor - leave them there; pop the toddler into a play pen) and go very quickly

With friends, you can usually leave doors open if you, say, have to answer the front door. If you need the loo, you go very very quickly. Most CM I know (like teachers) have bladders of iron anyway

I can see the decent childminder on this thread clearly.

Meetoodear. A nursery wouldn't put up with a parent like you anyway, so a win for everyone!

I had a workman in my house was going to take an hour took nearly 3 . I almost wee’d myself by the time he left.

@Olu123

Hi OP. Did you have a chat with your CM in the end? I hope she's managed to settle your worries.

Thanks Boofay. She confirmed he’s her boyfriend. He is a manager in one of the well known pharmacies local to us.
She does not leave any minded kids alone with him and yes he does pop by sometimes but only in the evenings after 5. Dd is there till 6 sometimes was when I saw him but as she’s been a cm for many years and works in a hospital one day a week I have kept dd there for now.

Phew...glad she was able to put your mind at rest Olu

Thanks. She does start reception in September so will take her out of cm then anyway but for now she will stay

Glad it's all sorted.

Glad to hear you've got an answer to who he is.
Hopefully your CM will be a little more forthcoming with information in future!