Stop my daughter going to Childminder

[Olu123]

Please help me. My four year old dd has been going to a childminder four days a week after school for a year now. She’s a single mum with another dd similar age to mine and of course other kids she childminds.
Twice I pick dd up, there’s a man in the house. He doesn’t hide it, has been by the door both times. First time It happened I didn’t think too much of it, second time I get worried as he in fact tells me dd had a nice day etc
Childminder offers no explanation just chats about what they have been up to in the day.
I Picked dd up yesterday (cm has only my dd and hers on Tuesdays no other kids) and asking her about her day, she says cm took her to the park, just out of curiosity I ask if anyone else was there and she says yes (mentions the mans name) was there, they met him at the park but he didn’t come to the house today.
Am I right to be horrified? I suspect new bf or maybe not so new as my dd’S vocabulary has just gone up so maybe he’s been around and I never asked and she never said.
Are cms allowed to have other adults around while working?
I’m sure the guy doesn’t live there but I’m so Scared now That im almost sick and don’t think I can let her go there anymore . Also worried and wonder if iabu as dd loves it there, wants to go and will ask if she’s going to cm even on the weekend. loves her dd as well.
Sorry for the rambling but so confused right now.

Ofsted have rules - he might need a dbs.

Do you usually trust her?

What do you think he’s up to OP?

but I think you’ll find any adult in the home and routinely around the children ( ie this chap) are obliged by law to have DBS

So every parent that collects a child then? Stop spouting shite when you haven’t a clue what you’re on about.

Luisa27

You are wrong have you childminded

Because I have it’s only the family who live in the home
And teens over 16

Your so wrong you have not childminded so please just stop it’s embarrassing yourself

I find it strange. She's at work.

She shouldn't be socialising

Really? So childminders should sit in the house alone for up to 12 hours a day?

I get worried as he in fact tells me dd had a nice day etc

And you didn’t ask who he was then? I think asking that question would give you a clearer idea than we, a group of internet strangers can.

Absolutely you should ask her. I wouldn't be happy about this at all.

Yes it would mean all parents of all children would need to be DBS

@Zibidoo - god help us 😱😂

Don't think i explained myself very well. I meant to say if he is living with/ working with CM he needs DBS clearance. If has none then contact Ofsted.

My son's childminder's boyfriend was sometimes around - he seemed a perfectly likeable guy, was presumably never alone with the kids, and tbh I quite liked DS meeting a variety of people when with the cm (also met her mum, adult son, baby granddaughter...). It was a family environment, and for many reasons I chose that sort of setting.

I am the last person to be especially sympathetic to men, but I don't think your fear about this is normal or healthy.

But presumably all parents don’t hang around at the childminders home for more than 15 mins or so ? Isn’t it a case of picking up and dropping off?
From what OP said - this chap seems to be there regularly - not dropping off or picking up children

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo

It’s like people have lost there minds

My childminder sees her mother

And my kids love it she tells them stories about animals she works at a zoo

In the kindest possible way OP, get a grip. Your anxiety sounds unhealthy.

I would not like this either OP. I'm extremely wary about child abuse, have never been abused myself but I know people who have and the horrific impact it's had on their lives therefore it's (sadly) always in my mind when it comes to my children. This is the sole reason I won't send DD to a childminder even though there's a lady with a fantastic reputation who lives close to our home - you just never know! I'd never risk it with my children personally. If you're uncomfortable with the situation then change it, as even though the odds are he's a very nice man and its unlikely anything untoward would happen, I think a parent should always go with their gut - not worth potentially regretting it down the line.

Good advice @Bluesufragette

My childminder has her husband and her two grown up sons in the house when she's childminding.
In the nicest possible way, you're being a bit dramatic, the childminder won't let anyone around your child who is dangerous. If you've trusted her judgement before you should trust her now?

Just ask who he is

How old are you op

When I go to my childminders and see somone I don’t know I just ask who it was rather than questioning my 3 year old who wouldn’t really have a clue and would not very accurate

It’s also would mean that any childminder would have to have all their teenage children’s mates DBS if we followed some drama lamas line

Ive used 3 different childminders. Sometimes Dc are in the middle of dinner when you arrive to pick up. Sometimes they’re at the toilet and taking ages, sometimes CMer says “have a cuppa while you wait”, you could easily be waiting 15 minutes and speaking to all the other children while you’re there. I’ve met CMers husbands, brothers, sisters, mothers, adult sons and daughters. And also the other parents picking up. I’ve also picked up in the park and soft play where CMer was sitting with a friend while the DC played.

Students on work placements, volunteers and occasional visitors As set out above, Ofsted takes responsibility for undertaking DBS checks on those who are living or working on domestic premises, including childminding and childcare on domestic premises. Therefore, Ofsted will need to obtain an enhanced DBS check on students or volunteers working with childminders and other childcare providers on domestic premises who are to have regular, unsupervised contact with children.

There are no provisions in the relevant legislation which state that the legal requirement only applies to placements of a certain length. There is no definition of ‘regular contact’ in this legislation, so Ofsted will take a common sense approach to deciding what is ‘regular’. For example, a student could have regular contact with children during the course of a short placement. Where a student on a work placement is likely to have regular contact with children, Ofsted will undertake a DBS check on that student. Where a student does not have regular contact with children (for example if they are only attending the placement as a ‘one-off’ arrangement) Ofsted will not require a DBS check. In such cases, the childminder or childcare provider must ensure that the student or volunteer is never left in unsupervised contact with children. We apply the same principles in deciding whether or not a person is a regular visitor to the household. For example, when deciding whether Ofsted requires a DBS check on a regular visitor, there is a difference between a friend of a childminder’s son who occasionally sleeps over, and an overseas student who is living in the house for several months. We will decide whether a DBS check is required on a regular visitor, taking account of how frequently, and for how long, the person is visiting the house.

Why are some trying to imply to OP is strange and abnormal? How very supportive.

OP, if you feel instinctively something doesn’t feel right, then you are quite correct to have reservations. I’m sure you can find another childminder - your daughter will get used to the change.

llamas

Sorry, the paragraphing clearly didn't copy and paste correctly!

I’ve never read such nonsense - if your CM’s husband and adult sons live with her and have been DBS checked - then that’s great!
This is a different scenario from a random unknown unintroduced man suddenly being there frequently - with no explanation