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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To charge DD and her friends for a round trip into town

350 replies

NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:10

DD thinks I am, so we've agreed to ask MN!

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa.

They want to go shopping this Saturday and were going to take the train but want to watch the Royal Wedding "live" first. We live fairly rurally so train service won't accommodate their plans.

I've told DD I'll drive them but they all need to give me £2 each (including DD) to cover my parking and Costa (I'll chuck the petrol, wear & tear on car and witty repartee in for free).

DD thinks I'm being tight and embarrassing

Who's right me obviously

OP posts:
Popadoodledoo · 15/05/2018 15:01

There's learning your kids about money.

Then there's just being a tight twat.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 15/05/2018 15:02

We live rurally and friends are scattered.. I few parents of older children have said it is a good idea to be the parent that ferries children around rather than the one who says sort it out yourself as you are more likely to be the one who is called when your child (or their friend) is in trouble. It will teach your child that you will be there whatever the weather and it will teach your child to be there for others. It is a choice to be that person and your children should respect you for that. We have a duty to love and care for our children, we can hope for their respect and love in return but cannot demand it.

Popadoodledoo · 15/05/2018 15:03

And if my daughter told me her friends mum wanted money to take her to town,
I'd tell her to grab her mates and I'd take them for free!

BlueSuffragette · 15/05/2018 15:04

As you only take them now and again you would BIG to charge your daughter and her friends. Your daughter would be very embarrassed and other parents would think you were bang out of order. Just be her mum and run her to town. Do some shopping yourself.

BlueSuffragette · 15/05/2018 15:05
  • not BIG but BVU
Ellie56 · 15/05/2018 15:06
Hmm
Bobbybobbins · 15/05/2018 15:09

I think as they are 13 YABU but if they were older and earning money then YWNBU.

Lavalamped · 15/05/2018 15:10

I think you're being unreasonable to charge them! I don't think you'd be unreasonable to just say that you're not going to drive them there though

WhatCanIDoNowPlease · 15/05/2018 15:11

And if my daughter told me her friends mum wanted money to take her to town,
I'd tell her to grab her mates and I'd take them for free!

But not one of the other parents have offered to do this, seemingly since their nursery days. Is it really only op's job to ferry these random kids around with no reciprocation, from anyone, ever?

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 15/05/2018 15:12

You can't take money from others people's children.

Other people can give their fucking kids a lift then!!

Redglitter · 15/05/2018 15:12

I feel so sorry for your daughter. I've never heard anything so tight in my life.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/05/2018 15:12

Do you think I should charge more?. No I think you should either act like an adult or move if you don’t want to take responsibility for driving your dd around. Charging a paltry amount for a laugh is childish and petty and will teach your dd you’re exactly that: childish, petty and like seeing her squirm for your own amusement.

Lilacwine1 · 15/05/2018 15:17

Really??? I bet when you take a tenner out ya purse, the Queen blinks in the light.

WizardOfToss · 15/05/2018 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mydietstartsmonday · 15/05/2018 15:21

YABU.... Nothing more to say, the fact that you are thinking it is quite sad.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 15/05/2018 15:22

I know. Do you think I should charge more?

in the context of this thread, it's so pathetically not funny.

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 15/05/2018 15:25

I'd leave this bunch of Po Faced Mizzogs to their frothing OP & start thinking how you'll enjoy your Saturday sitting in the garden not driving 40 miles for no bloody reason!!

Theimpossiblegirl · 15/05/2018 15:26

DD's friends will often offer money if I taxi them to town or drop them home, but I would never accept it. They know the value of money but I also know the value of doing nice things for my girls and their friends.

I think it's pretty unanimous OP, you are being tight and your DD won't thank you for the life lesson you seem to deem it necessary to teach her and her friends.

Topseyt · 15/05/2018 15:26

You are coming across as a tightwad.

Parents drive their children about, and sometimes with their friends too. It kinda goes with the territory of being a parent.

I've often driven my DDs and their friends about. Sometimes the friends parents drive my DDs around. None of us have ever made charges for doing it.

Brokit · 15/05/2018 15:26

We live miles from anywhere. Which was idyllic when DC were little but I was acutely aware that as they got older they would hate it. The price we paid for living where we do was lots and lots of lifts. Their friends lived in surrounding villages and there is next to no public transport. I also got used to the fact that not all parents can or will do it so we did more than our share. This became even more obvious as they got to 16 or so and needed lifts back late at night.
At 17 they can drive........

I'm afraid that charging children for a lift will stick in their memory forever.

WilyMinx · 15/05/2018 15:30

How about asking your daughter and maybe her friends if they could do chores for you in exchange for ferrying them to town and back? Perhaps gardening, ironing, etc., unless she helps out already.

Ki0612 · 15/05/2018 15:31

YABU- please don't do that to your daughter it's humiliating. If you feel the need take money just from her or ask her to do extra chores don't embarrass her in front of her friends. Or just say no and don't do it.

BarbaraofSevillle · 15/05/2018 15:33

Can't they get the train in before the wedding, watch it on a tablet somewhere with wifi, in a cafe with a TV or even on a big screen somewhere (my city has a big screen in one of the main squares that is bound to be showing the wedding).

Then they can shop before and after (no idea what time the wedding is but I'm assuming early/mid afternoon) and get the last train home?

Maybe you can give them a lift to and from the (or a different better served) station as a middle ground?

GrumpyOldBlonde · 15/05/2018 15:33

Rightio

dayinlifeof · 15/05/2018 15:40

OK then. Where did you put the Biscuit that you took?

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