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AIBU?

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Original poster

To charge DD and her friends for a round trip into town

350 replies

NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:10

DD thinks I am, so we've agreed to ask MN!

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa.

They want to go shopping this Saturday and were going to take the train but want to watch the Royal Wedding "live" first. We live fairly rurally so train service won't accommodate their plans.

I've told DD I'll drive them but they all need to give me £2 each (including DD) to cover my parking and Costa (I'll chuck the petrol, wear & tear on car and witty repartee in for free).

DD thinks I'm being tight and embarrassing

Who's right me obviously

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 15/05/2018 14:34

We are the family who were the ones driving our kids and their friends around for the last five years. Never charged them once. Not even the time they got lost in a town 45 minutes away and missed the train at 2:30 in the morning. We want then to know they can always count on us for a lift. Now they're at the age where they can drink I'd rather them phone us at whatever time than get in the car with some idiot who's been drinking.

MissDuke · 15/05/2018 14:36

I would say it depends, we lived rurally and our parents drove us around without a charge. However we did loads around the house, cleaning, cooking, laundry etc - so I guess my parents didn't begrudge helping us out with lifts. They did pay to get us driving and set up with a car each as soon as we turned 17 so I guess they were looking to see an end to driving us everywhere!

I do feel like I am the nominated taxi driver for my teens and their friends but to be honest it suits me as it means that I know where they are!

aharddaysnight · 15/05/2018 14:38

I would either drive her (for free) or tell her you are not able to at all. If you don't want to do it, just say you can't and that's the end of it. I would have found it extremely embarrassing to be asked to pay by my parent.

DameSylvieKrin · 15/05/2018 14:38

It's very weird to take money from other children. It's not your job to teach them the value of money. And I don't think it's going to teach your daughter the value of money much either. You'd be taking back two quid that you presumably gave to her at some point.
I wouldn't offer favours that I would resent doing, for 8 quid or for free, but if I did want to make my daughter understand the value of my time, I'd give her some extra chores to do before Saturday in return for taking her (and if you are prepared to take her, whether there is one or three more girls in the car is immaterial).

Mumbao · 15/05/2018 14:40

DD can't have both. Ask her to choose. And please don't charge them!

bearbehind · 15/05/2018 14:43

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TheRagingGirl · 15/05/2018 14:43

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa

So why are you charging her now ? It seems a bit mean. I grew up very rurally - no trains, once an hour bus after a 1.5 k walk to the bus stop. My parents drove us around - it was their choice to live where we lived.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 15/05/2018 14:44

The thing is they don't need a lift,they could catch the train so also not so rurally isolated.
We live rurally and I give my DD and her friends lifts .We have bus service(think 3time a day service)which they have started using to the nearest town.If the last bus backfires the appear I will drive the 26miles to pick them up.But no way would any of them expect me to drive in if they were doing something else that meant they would miss a bus.
I would be saying no to teach them that you need to prioritise and not to take a parent doing you a favour for granted or use them as an unpaid taxi service.

angryburd · 15/05/2018 14:45

Jesus wept. MN really is another planet sometimes!

NoSquirrels · 15/05/2018 14:45

I don’t understand what the train and the royal wedding has got to do with it?

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa.

Usually you’re happy to, free of charge.

So why would you charge them this time?

You could suggest it might be nice if your DD bought you a coffee and the others paid for the parking, I suppose.

But charging them arbitrarily seems Confused

TroysMammy · 15/05/2018 14:46

The problem is that these days parents are expected to drive their children around.

When I was a teenager, ok 37 years ago, my DM didn't drive and my DF worked shifts or would say no so there was no point even asking. I lived in village where there was one bus and hour which stopped at 8pm and none on Sundays. The train which was the cheaper option was one an hour into town too. None of my friends would have parents driving them around either. If we couldn't go into town on our own accord we just hung about a boring village. It stood me in good stead not to rely on other people and if I wanted something badly I would find a way to get it.

Perhaps the OP asking for money, but she has said it's a 40 mile round trip, is a bit questionable but the children should be lucky they have that option in the first place.

pigmcpigface · 15/05/2018 14:46

I think this is not an issue that can be solved with money. You and your DD have a clash in terms of what you want to do. She wants to shop. You want to watch the royal wedding. There are two possibilities- firstly, you find a reason why one of these is more important than the other (and 'because it's my car and I want to ' isn't a good reason), or secondly, you compromise and find a way of combining them (surely there must be a cafe where the royal wedding will be on TV?)

SavageBeauty73 · 15/05/2018 14:47

Wow how tight are you?!

itsgoodtobehome · 15/05/2018 14:48

I’m 47. My parents come and babysit for our dc, And my Dad will give us a lift to and from the pub so dh and I can both have a few drinks. Don’t be so tight. That’s what parents do.

angryburd · 15/05/2018 14:49

Then the OP can simply say no. If children expect to be ferried about, it's because... they've been ferried about. Many parents wouldn't dream of letting their children go anywhere on their own these days.

JennyWreny · 15/05/2018 14:49

I agree with most of the PP that this is a terrible idea and will be embarrassing for your daughter.

If you did go ahead you should check that your insurance policy won't be invalidated by accepting money for the lifts.

BlueJava · 15/05/2018 14:49

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nauticant · 15/05/2018 14:49

I hope your DD has your sense of humour OP. If so, your house must be a real laugh.

Very good for having your tongue firmly in your cheek all the way through. My favourite was:

Do you think I should charge more?

MNHQ
HopeMumsnet · 15/05/2018 14:54

Hi all,
Just a reminder that trollhunting and personal attacks are still against the guidelines, everyone!

MaiaRindell · 15/05/2018 14:54

Ahahahahahahahahahah

NewPapaGuinea · 15/05/2018 14:55

If you want to teach them a life lesson, but also not come across as tight-fisted parent, offer to take them, but in exchange for a gift (box of chocs or similar) or costa treat. Whilst the premise is the same, it’s not so “money grabby” and they may actually enjoy finding said gift.

It’s like offering to buy a mate a pint, you wouldn’t just give them the equivalent money instead.

Foxysoxy10 · 15/05/2018 14:57

I think it’s fine to charge them........as long as when your DD can drive and you need a favour you are happy to pay her to drive you wherever.
Money doesn’t go quite so far when you are living on a pension so I would try and get the long expensive journeys out of the way now so when DD starts charging you, you can still afford heating, eating and your Doctors trip that costs £5 each way in DD driving charges.

RadioDorothy · 15/05/2018 14:57

I'm not sure what planet I must be from, because when I was a child - even an older teenager - my DM and DSD would not take us ANYWHERE. A lift was an exception and a privilege, not a right!

I'm 46 and still feel slightly resentful that I couldn't join my friends messing around with ponies mid week in the holidays, because my stepdad wouldn't allow my mum to make a 14 mile round trip and there were no buses (very rural area).

I got the bus to town by myself as soon as I was allowed, which was about age 11, and I paid the fare from my pocket money which I earned by cleaning for mum. I can count the number of times they drove me to some kind of activity more than 5 miles away on the fingers of...well, two hands perhaps.

Still, times change eh. Take her or don't, but don't charge them, as much as I empathise!

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 15/05/2018 14:58

Seriously OP your being tighter than a nuns minge just take your DD and don't be that parent. I'm 28 and my mum still gives me lifts if I need them and she wouldn't dream of charging me for it.

TegKernow · 15/05/2018 14:59

God you're irritating! Either that or you're just having a 'laugh' and it's backfiring because you just sound like a dick.

Completely agree with this ^^

The OP’s posts read like she is trying desperately to be witty and humorous but doesn’t seem to realise that she’s failed on an epic scale and continues to write even more cringey rubbish.

OP - just take your daughter and her friends without charging them, like a normal parent.