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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To charge DD and her friends for a round trip into town

350 replies

NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:10

DD thinks I am, so we've agreed to ask MN!

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa.

They want to go shopping this Saturday and were going to take the train but want to watch the Royal Wedding "live" first. We live fairly rurally so train service won't accommodate their plans.

I've told DD I'll drive them but they all need to give me £2 each (including DD) to cover my parking and Costa (I'll chuck the petrol, wear & tear on car and witty repartee in for free).

DD thinks I'm being tight and embarrassing

Who's right me obviously

OP posts:
TomRavenscroft · 15/05/2018 15:40

She wants to shop. You want to watch the royal wedding.

No, THEY want to watch the wedding.

EdmundCleverClogs · 15/05/2018 15:47

So which shitrag shall we expect this goadfest to turn up in, OP?

GrumpyOldBlonde · 15/05/2018 15:49

DM by daybreak Edmund is my prediction

Sophronia · 15/05/2018 15:50

YABU. How embarrassing for your DD!

notangelinajolie · 15/05/2018 15:50

There are some questions on here that leave me speechless and this is one of them. I am assuming this is a wind up but just in case you actually really don't know the answer I will give my tuppence worth.

You are being tight beyond tightness. Of course you should not ask for money! You should do it because it is a nice thing to do. You should also do it because you are the parent and it is what parents do. I'm actually quite shocked that you would want to take money from not only your own child but other peoples children too.

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 15/05/2018 15:51

If you had said she was 16-18 I'd have said yes but they're 13? Just have a coffee and wait and be done with it.

diddl · 15/05/2018 15:54

"I'd leave this bunch of Po Faced Mizzogs to their frothing OP & start thinking how you'll enjoy your Saturday sitting in the garden not driving 40 miles for no bloody reason!!"

Yup!

If it's not convenient Op, just say no!

I wouldn't be driving them if they could get themselves there but they want to watch a bit of telly firstHmm

diddl · 15/05/2018 15:56

"You should also do it because you are the parent and it is what parents do. "

Ha fucking ha-there's a train!!

And it appears that in this set up, the other parents DON'T do!

NanFlanders · 15/05/2018 15:57

Yes. 40 miles is a long way. Tell them they can't do both. Suggest they come and watch the wedding at yours and you'll get in some popcorn and pizza, then they go into town next Saturday on the train. (But don't charge them for a lift - that would be mortifying!)

Bexter801 · 15/05/2018 15:57

To be honest I think it's more than a fair request,not only for petrol,and how time consuming it is,but a train would cost them far more... If there going shopping,etc...£2 isn't going to put them up or down.

m0therofdragons · 15/05/2018 15:59

Wow, really? This kind of parenting is alien to me. I love being the house the kids all hang out at and taking them places (because I'm quite controlling but hide it by knowing where they are being their taxi)

Baffled by this Confused

Storminateapot · 15/05/2018 15:59

Good Lord no! I live rurally too and, since the public bus service is woeful (very sporadic, stops at 6pm and none on Sundays) I'm forever ferrying my lot in & out of town for things.

It was our choice to live in the arse end of nowhere and raise our family here so we don't start charging our children to compensate us for providing travel to anywhere that they need to be to have a normal teenage life.

Eldest now drives but we still chip in for fuel because she's several miles from sixth form and runs her younger sibs about for us basically at our behest.

Original poster
NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 16:00

I can't believe how wound up some of you are getting over a hypothetical question from a random person on the internet! I've missed some of the deleted replies but Christ! how abusive some of you get ....

OP posts:
ThunderPunt · 15/05/2018 16:00

@NoMoreFreeRides a 40 mile round trip is worth way more than 8 quid..... you are definitely undercharging. Maybe you could set up one of those Rural minibus services they have in the highlands, reckon there could be a right little earner to be had if the trains are few and far between. Think how many wanky coffees you could have.

KarmaStar · 15/05/2018 16:00

You are being extremely unreasonable and embarrassing to your daughter.
But I think this is a joke,nobody can be that much of a xxxch.

NeedForBlossom · 15/05/2018 16:01

If you are driving them to Windsor then YANBU. Parking costs a bloody bomb there.

Anywhere else, YABU.

HTH Wink

Jamiefraserskilt · 15/05/2018 16:02

When she becomes independent of you financially, then do it. Up til then it is our job to ensure they arrive and get back safely. Remember who will be driving you to appointments when you can no longer drive....😉

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 15/05/2018 16:02

I'm always pleased ds is out meeting people. I always offer him lifts and any of his friends too. Day and night which I think will become more important as he gets older- friends with cars etc. And yy I agree with others. Of you choose to live out in the sticks you should be prepared to ferry around your children. For free.

Popadoodledoo · 15/05/2018 16:05

@WhatCaniDoNowPlease

Well obviously not. But she should start doing what the other mum's are doing and say no.

If she doesn't like doing it, Then say no.

Don't expect your children to pay you!

bearbehind · 15/05/2018 16:05

OP, people just feel sorry for your child.

My comment which was deleted, included a previous quote from a poster, which has been copied again and not deleted.

It pointed out how utterly unfunny and cringeworthy your 'joke' about charging them even more was.

DianaT1969 · 15/05/2018 16:06

How does she have free time to go out? Surely with a parent as financially-savvy as yourself, she must have a weekend job? Doing the housework and working on Sat & Sun to pay her keep?

colditz · 15/05/2018 16:08

That's horrible. YABU.

I'm the MEAN mum and even I don't do shameful, grasping things like that.

kissbeforelippy · 15/05/2018 16:10

How do you know that the other parents would be Shock Hmm if they were asked to take your DD and her friends into town? Have you actually discussed it with them?

As a PP said, it would be nice if the girls offered to pay for a coffee for you but it probably hasn't occurred to them. You come across as tight and mean-spirited, not a good look.

UserInfinityplus1 · 15/05/2018 16:12

You win the competition for the most embarrassing parent. Your prize is a medium cappuccino from Costa and a couple of hours parking. I'm sure it was well worth it.

SunnyTikka · 15/05/2018 16:14

Jeez. How tight.

I hope when you are in your care home in the future, they charge you the fuel when they come and visit you. IF they visit you.

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