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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To charge DD and her friends for a round trip into town

350 replies

NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:10

DD thinks I am, so we've agreed to ask MN!

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa.

They want to go shopping this Saturday and were going to take the train but want to watch the Royal Wedding "live" first. We live fairly rurally so train service won't accommodate their plans.

I've told DD I'll drive them but they all need to give me £2 each (including DD) to cover my parking and Costa (I'll chuck the petrol, wear & tear on car and witty repartee in for free).

DD thinks I'm being tight and embarrassing

Who's right me obviously

OP posts:
needingamiracle · 15/05/2018 17:41

I have to agree with DD, you sound like someone I know who would charge close friend / family, for needing to go to A&E.

Are you that broke OP?

irregularegular · 15/05/2018 17:42

And I though "should I charge more" was quite funny actually

FairyFace · 15/05/2018 17:45

realistically how many can you fit in a car? 4 of them? So you would be up 8 quid? Are you that stuck? Or is it a principle thing?

irregularegular · 15/05/2018 17:45

"I really do wonder why so many actually have children"

Seriously? Get some sense of proportion.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 15/05/2018 17:49

Jesus. My mum had 12 of us to ferry around and never charged us!

LBOCS2 · 15/05/2018 17:50

Huh. I don't understand the vitriol to be honest.

OP doesn't want or need to go into town, and I'm sure she doesn't want to wait around for hours doing bugger all while she's there.

OP's daughter does want to go to town but at a time convenient to her, not when public transport will get her there.

It will cost OP to do this for her DD and her friends, and she's asking for a contribution to that cost. It is not only more convenient to them (time wise) to get a lift, but it's also still cheaper at £2 a head instead of £5.

Sounds like a good deal to me. Usually you pay more for convenience, they're actually saving £3 each on it.

bearbehind · 15/05/2018 17:50

I really hope it doesn't get deleted.

Threads shouldn't be deleted because the OP doesn't get the reaction they wanted.

There's nothing personal or outing in this so there's actually no reason to delete it.

peepshow · 15/05/2018 17:51

I would just say no, you can't take them because it's not convenient this weekend - rather than charging a fare!

I don't care what you say OP, it is embarrassing and your daughter will get a hard time because of it.

Original poster
NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 17:53

Jesus. My mum had 12 of us to ferry around and never charged us!

Jesus. This is turning into Four Yorkshire Men!

OP posts:
Original poster
NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 17:54

bearbehind ~ you're awfully invested in this thread!

OP posts:
diddl · 15/05/2018 17:54

"Huh. I don't understand the vitriol to be honest."

Me neither.

As you say-they want to go when they want to go-not when they could get a train.

dontticklethetoad · 15/05/2018 17:54

Agreed bear. I can't quite fathom why the op wants it deleted other than the fact it didn't (or maybe did) go as planned and now looks a bit of a tit

bearbehind · 15/05/2018 17:55

Not as 'invested' as your daughter and her friends would be if you got your way!

Realistica · 15/05/2018 17:57

I agree that it's unfair for the OP to constantly have to give up her time and pay for petrol, parking, etc. when other parents rarely or never do it.

My response if I was OP would be to say no more often, though. Not to charge them. Just say no. If they're that desperate, one of her friends will badger their less generous parents into doing it for once.

Original poster
NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 17:59

Genuine question: why should I care what I look like on an anonymous forum? I'm anonymous and so are all of you!

OP posts:
bearbehind · 15/05/2018 18:01

If that's the case, why ask for the thread to be deleted?

diddl · 15/05/2018 18:02

" If they're that desperate, one of her friends will badger their less generous parents into doing it for once."

Agreed-or they will take the train or watch the wedding & shop another tie.

WhatCanIDoNowPlease · 15/05/2018 18:03

Who on earth begrudges giving their own child and friends a lift? Surely it's part of being a parent. Quite why some people think children should be cost and effort free is beyond me.

I agree with this. Such a shame though that out of 4 girls, only the OP is prepared to help her child and friends.

Bexter801 · 15/05/2018 18:04

I hope you don't care Smile some posters are acting like you've asked would you be unreasonable to drop your dd,and her friends off an leave them in town overnight Confused

diddl · 15/05/2018 18:05

"Who on earth begrudges giving their own child and friends a lift? "

I might if they could take the train but were choosing not to.

happynapper99 · 15/05/2018 18:06

Who would pay for the train?

If it's them then I see no harm in asking them to part with the same amount as a ticket. However if you'd have paid the train then you can't ask them to pay to drive.

pandarific · 15/05/2018 18:06

Well, I for one like the cut of your jib op. Wine

InspMorse · 15/05/2018 18:10

"You just asked a question, mum" she said "And you weren't really going to charge us anyway".
She's quite upset by it (the abusive replies) so I've asked MNHQ to delete the thread.

I KNEW OP was trying (very unsuccessfully) to be funny.
Not sure why MN would take the thread down though.

LoveManyTrustfew · 15/05/2018 18:14

We live in the home counties, and are only 50 minutes into London, that infrastructure is great, the local infrastructure is crap. If my son needs a lift to the nearest decent siaze town I give it, I will always take the waifs and strays that he adds in at the last minute. I drive they talk, you would be amazed at what you can pick up, in terms of insight into their mindset. They are all concerned about one of the older teens in their group who is drinking too much, we knew she was, her parents knew she was but thought that she was being enabled by the group, turns out they have set up a rota to keep her busy and away from parties. We would not know this if I hadn't given a lift on that day.

You catch more flies with honey.

Allabitmuchisntit · 15/05/2018 18:14

There are plenty of excellent ways to teach YOUR child the value of money.

This isn’t one of them.

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