To charge DD and her friends for a round trip into town

[NoMoreFreeRides]

DD thinks I am, so we've agreed to ask MN!

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa.

They want to go shopping this Saturday and were going to take the train but want to watch the Royal Wedding "live" first. We live fairly rurally so train service won't accommodate their plans.

I've told DD I'll drive them but they all need to give me £2 each (including DD) to cover my parking and Costa (I'll chuck the petrol, wear & tear on car and witty repartee in for free).

DD thinks I'm being tight and embarrassing

Who's right me obviously

I actually think this is quite funny. Yes it will make your daughter roll her eyes and be a bit Kevin the teenager I'm sure because you're being SO unfair and embarrassing but erm, isn't that a parents job? You're teaching her you don't always just get to do everything you want whenever you want to do it without having to pay for a little organisation. And if they're shopping in Urban Decay they can afford two quid towards your coffee! I think it sounds like OP was being fairly lighthearted about it (until everyone attacked her..) and not resentful, just recouping some losses from a lost afternoon! Seems totally valid to me.

I wouldn’t charge, but I wouldn’t be prepared to be at my DD and friends’ beck and call. It’s a tough age 13 as they think they are grown up but still do need parental help. I’d be more miffed at their expectation you’ll be doing this just because they want to do both wedding and shopping.

In your shoes OP, especially as the other parents don’t step up, I’d just say I’m happy for you and your mates to watch the wedding here but I’ll be wanting to celebrate with prosecco and so won’t be able to drive. And leave them to work out their arrangements.

One thought occurs: if they other parents never give lifts and you always do, will your DDs friends still be friends with her if you say no?

Wow thread got nasty. Id have scuttled away by now.

Personally i woukdnt give a lift in the first place. My dc would be on the train or not going.

Id only do it if i fancied/ needed to shop too.

Think you should put your foot down. Couldn't a different parent step up?

And couldnt bring myself to charge. £2 each not enough anyway... still less than train and more convenient. Whats the parking charge?

That's half an hour of my life I won't get back....

FAO OP'S daughter:

WEDDINGS ARE BORING, EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW THE PERSON.

Go out and have fun instead.

@Edmund

I really do wonder why so many actually have children.

Who on earth begrudges giving their own child and friends a lift? Surely it's part of being a parent. Quite why some people think children should be cost and effort free is beyond me.

OP seriously, someone hit the nail on the head earlier when they mentioned just putting up with stuff until you get increasingly bitter.

All you need to sort this is a bit of assertiveness. Ring one of the other parents and say ‘As you know, I take the girls into Manchester and go for a coffee while they shop fairly regularly. The girls want to go on Saturday but the timings don’t suit for me that day I intend to be shitfaced by lunchtime in celebration of Hazza and Princess Mega. Would it be possible for you to take them this time?

It’s not the girls’ fault or your fault or even the other parents. You just need to be more assertive.

You decided to show the replies to her. Be a parent and make intelligent decisions. Stop blaming others for your incompetence. At no stage did you say you were going to show your dd the thread. Quite the reverse actually.

and if they're shopping in Urban Decay they can afford two quid towards your coffee

😊 My thoughts exactly! At least they're choosing cruelty free (or so they say)

Edmund - actually this has gone exactly the way the Daily Mail and their frothing commentators would like it to go. It arose from a discussion my DD and I had, so not goody bollocks at all. Just a shame it got so nasty.

DD thinks I am, so we've agreed to ask MN!

@Mummyoflittledragon - just read the first line of my OP!

The really sad thing about this thread is that the OP did actually think this was acceptable and is now using her DD as an excuse to get it deleted.

bearbehind - this is an anonymous forum. Why would I need an excuse to get it deleted?

Surely you are joking? Seriously can't believe you are even considering taking pocket money off young kids. If you don't want to take them then say No. I am shocked if this is for real.

I actually think it is OK to ask them to pay the parking between them tbh. They are not actually paying you, they are putting money in the parking meter (instead of the train ticket machine, which would presumably be much more). Don't ask them to give you Costa money though, that would be odd.

I agree with the others though, presumably the problem is not really the money it is having to do it all (every time). So rather than asking for any money - which has the huge disadvantage that it suggests you are perfectly happy to do this provided you are "paid" - I'd be sending a different message.

You need to make clear that you are doing them a favour. They you can't always be expected to jump to their demands. That sometimes they need to choose (between shopping and wedding) and that other parents need to take a turn. I'd offer to go one way personally. Then they can get a train back or make arrangements with another parent. If you are in contact with the other parents I'd be sending messes that say you are happy to do this, whose turn is it next time?

But if money really is an issue that is different. For me the issue would be the time - the money would be neither here nor there really.

Because MNHQ will not delete a thread unless it's accompanied by a sob story.

You thought this was a good idea, you've come across as every teens worst nightmare in the embarrassing Mum stakes.

You then thought it was funny to say you should charge even more when everyone else disagreed you should charge at all.

Now you're using your daughters reaction as an excuse to make it go away.

Your daughter is BU for wanting to watch that shite.
YABU for even suggesting charging!
The other parents are CFs for not pitching in their share of the lifts.
All unreasonable

Because MNHQ will not delete a thread unless it's accompanied by a sob story

Of course they will. And I don't need it to "go away", makes no difference to me. I just thought some interesting posts have been lost in a flood of nastiness - you should know as you've already been deleted - so best it goes.

I can't believe folks are biting on this.

The op obviously came up with this idea in her head, thought it she was a hoot, and posted it, probably as she's bored or something.

No one takes two quid off their 13 year old daughters friends for a lift.

I took the 'should I charge more' comment to be tongue in cheek.

OP you definitely don't charge them. But if they're regularly making plans and just assuming that you'll be the transport - ie taking you for granted - step back a bit.

Whatever OP. You obviously want to charge a bunch of 13 year olds for a lift to town. So just do it.

What a complete utter load of rubbish. So many sock puppets.

Serious overreactions on this thread!

She's not asking for money from other people's children, she's asking for money from other parents who are too mean to ever offer to drive (and pay the cost) themselves. Who is actually the tightwad here?

Second, she is not being paid to do this. She is not being reimbursed for her time. She is not profiting in any way. She's just asking not to be out of pocket every time. If someone was giving me or my child a lift and wouldn't otherwise be going,of course I would offer to pay for parking. Again,who is being mean?

Now maybe it isn't quite how I would handle it, but all this shock,horror and disgust is downright silly.