To be upset/concerned about new preschool helper and DS's dummy!

[flightattendant]

I am feeling a bit disturbed after preschool this morning.
When I collected DS he was in tears about something - unrelated to this - and being cuddled by one of the helpers I'd never met before. I think she's been there a few weeks.
He ran to me and I held him, then she walked up to me and stood with her face about 10" away from mine (I had to back away, but couldn't really without being obvious) and started to say,
'He was really a good boy yesterday, he put his dummy in his pocket and didn't try and get it out again'.
I've never discussed with anyone there, DS's (occasional) use of a dummy, although the usual ladies are aware and supportive of his bottle, which he still takes most days - it was one thing which helped him through the tough 'settling in' he went through in January.
I replied to her, 'Er - he is allowed to have a dummy. I don't mind it'.
She said then, 'I couldn't understand what he was saying'.
I said 'Fair point', but at this stage was wondering what exactly this woman had said to him - I know a lot of people have a problem with dummies, and we get well-meaning shop assistants telling him he's too big for it now, etc, which I can usually dismiss when I'm there so he isn't affected.
But I do think this woman is strange, and what's more I resent the way she is trying to impose some rule onto him - it's not her place to do that. I don't give a stuff if he needs something to comfort him when I can't be there...even if he is almost four.

Don't know why it wound me up so much.
Just needed to vent!

I see nothing wron with a dummy either. He is 4, not ten. dd is three and drinks her milk in the morning in her old bottle. She regresses to babyhood for 5 minutes a day. I can't see why not.

[sophable, are you still in NYC?]

yes...just about.....it is 8.30 pm and we are due to be on our way to jfk at 5am......hmmmmm that will be fun!

thank you so much for all the tips btw.

we've had a great time (ds has been in terribly whingey mode...but apart from that).

we were lucky dd now 2 hid her dummies at about 1.5 yrs but she still has a towelling nappy she calls her cuddly she only has it when she slleps and when she is in care it stays in the car although she still has a bottle before bed and after breakfast. I think a dummy at 4 is no big deal but I would try have it as a sleeptime thing. Get to know the teache better maybe between the two of you you can get rid of the dummy during the day and have it for nightime only :0

[have a good trip back!]

My dd (5) has a comfort blanket which she has at home and when we are out as a family, when she started preschool they encouraged her not to bring blankey as it could get lost. It upset her for the first week or so that she wasn't allowed blankey at preschool but after a while she just accepted it, made it much easier when she started school.

I don't mind her having it, but can understand why a preschool wouldn't want her to bring it there.

I think it is a cultural thing in the uk that people some how see a dummy or comforter as unacceptable past a certain age, here in france its not unusual to see children with dummies and those blanket/toy things. My dd 3 goes to nursery and they asked us to bring her dummy/comforter she doesnt really have one that she is particularly attatched to but she does have a bottle of milk at night when she has her story in bed as does her sister 2 and that will stop when they are ready. I do think its a good idea to perhaps gradually wean a child off this sort of thing during the day, perhaps keep it for night time and when they are ill but hey you are the parent its your child your choice

Interesting the cultural differences...that's good to know. I think the preschool are actually 'grateful' that he's got a bottle - or were at the start - as it calmed him down a great deal. Rather that than a screamer any day, I suppose!

DS was very attached to his dummy. I was blissfully unaware how chavvy that made me. My social standing must have improved greatly since he's grown up. Hang on, I bought a coffee from Greggs yesterday. Back to my roots.

greggs do coffee I thought they just did sausage rolls

children develop at different rates all the children here in france seem to be potty trained at 6 months (ok maybe a slight older) but they have comforters until a lot older my dd has been a nightmare to potty train but has no comforter having had 6 now I dont worry about it so much

Yes, I didn't know either, Gregg's do coffee too and for less than £1. They have delicious looking cakes, cheap too. They should rename themselves Gregoire or something foreign-sounding and you'll have many a MNer being "naughty, dahling" scoffing their wares

Careful! there are some posters on this thread who wouldnt DREAM of going into Greggs because they are part of the food police!!

DS and I love the donuts!!

Nah...can't do it

Hmm, a Belgian bun will make you just as fat whether it's sold in Gregg's for 65p or in Amandine for £2.40 (not real prices). Depends how much you want to fork out for the experience. ATM that's nil for me as I'm trying to control my blood sugar levels. I wish the UK had more sit-down coffee & cake shops, though. I've been on a course all week in East Ham in London and there was just nothing at all of the sort. I'd have been thankful for a Starbucks. I should ask my Mum if I ever had a dummy, I could blame my sweet tooth on that.

ummmm belgian bun I miss them I was very close to them