To think he should pay on first date???

[namechangerforthis123]

Had a 'frank' discussion with a girlfriend at the w/e who was outraged that I thought a first date should pay for dinner.

I am v independent, decent career, probably generally feminist views on the whole.
He made it v clear he liked me.

But it was such a turn off when he started calculating how much it was each! 

It just was a passion killer; can't explain why!!

Would be interested to hear the MN view on this. Get your flame throwers ready! 

Unless you are looking for a partner that will take care of you financially. No shame in that. It’s a valid goal

In what world? What self respecting person would want that as their goal? How shallow, lazy and selfish.

Yes it surfaced grudgingly, you think he should have paid complete bill

@HelenaDove what do you mean??

So you think men and women are absolutely equal but only when it suits you ?
That's what it sounds like to me.

THIS is what you said at 12.20 today Furano and its what i was responding to this evening

""There is no reason before having children for a woman to earn less than her partner. If you chose a lower paid career, or didn’t work as hard as your partner in the early child free years, or had a lack of ambition, more fool you""

So dont fucking twist it by trying to gaslight and say that im after being looked after when i made it fucking clear from PAGE ONE that i would happily pay half.

@BoxsetsAndPopcorn - I really think you should have a wider outlook. If that's important to someone, then respect that. I know guys who want a woman 'to take care of them' - I think that's odd, but that's up to them!

I wouldn't expect him to pay I'd split it but I'd imagine a rough split would do. £62.23 spent all together I'm happy for him or I to pay £32.23 and other £30 would be a bit strange to tally it down to the penny.

Do you get regular Child Maintenance OP

Despite the heavy presence of feminists on this thread its taken till page 26 for someone to ask you this but i thought id ask.

I couldn't namechanger, what's there to respect?

I'd have never married my DH if he had that outlook and id be very disappointed in my children if they thought picking a rich partner was a life goal so they didn't have to do anything.

For the love of God, I'm not sure I can cope with any more exclamation marks on this thread ...

So you see Furano its quite clear how you view low income women.

But when the next petition comes along (and i suspect in the near future there will be one against the privatisation of childcare) MNers will likely be asked to sign it including those of us who are treated with derision for being lower down the pecking order socio economically but are suddenly everybodys Daddy when we are needed for something like to sign a petition.

Id still sign it actually because i think its an appalling idea.

Because despite being childfree by choice i dont criticise other women for their choices.

Because i can see the wider picture.

@HelenaDove - good point! I do get some maintenance but not a fair share.

And before everyone wades in with 'well go to the CSA & get a fair share', it's f-ing complicated & for a shedload of reasons id rather not pursue him for more maintenance.

The harsh reality is that politicians give no fucks at all about single parents because they are (or have been) so busy making life work / caring for kids / making ends meet that they have no time of energy to protest. Benefit cuts, children's centre closures, a maintenance system that doesn't ducking work. I sense this situation is changing however. I think there are more single parents, like me, who have more time, energy & drive to fucking sort it out. It's at times like this i feel like getting into politics!

@BoxsetsAndPopcorn you're missing the point. Just let others live the life they want. Stop pulling up your judgey pants.

@namechangeforthis123. Is it the CSA minimum.

So so glad I'm not single & dating! It's a minefield 😃. I do however think it's the person who invites does the paying on the first date,on the other hand my DH will "invite" me for lunch/dinner then ask if I have my purse lol (we do have joint accounts).

@siwel123 like I said, it is complicated. I think you'll find for a lot of people (& by that of course I mainly mean women, cos the vast majority of SPs are women) want to keep the peace, and also, the CMS system is shit; it's pretty easy for ppl (men) to hide money in ltd companies and the like. I get something. It's not fair, and that's life! But it's pretty shit really. And I'd rather earn my own money anyway TBH than rely on an ex who frequently tells me that his new GF thinks he gives me far too much & that I must be rolling in cash! I often imagine them in bed dissecting my finances!! Thrilling!

Katy im glad im not dating. OLD is certainly not something id pursue and still wouldnt once DH isnt around anymore.

Im of the belief if something is meant to happen it will.

@HelenaDove do you mind me asking how old you are? I'm 37

. As a male I still agree women do quite often get fucked over by ex partners.

@siwel123 oh! You're a man!! I missed that bit!!!

Ouch .

@HelenaDove think it was much simpler 25 years ago 😃 I'm all for equality but think it gets taken too far these days.

Name ..................im 45 next month.

I’d offer to pay half and would have done it but I would have preferred for him to pay the bill like you did. I still think it’s nice to be treated x

@siwel123 no offence intended!