NasdaqYouTwat, I personally always did that when I was in the dating game. I am nearly 60 now and followed the advice of my grandmother to my mother, "Never let a man pay for you" and also, "Never let a man buy you underwear". So I guess I am, by the terms of this debate, a feminist hardliner of the highest pedigree. And yet, whilst I always paid my way on dates and also was the first to put my hand in my pocket, that most certainly did not stop me noticing it when other people either did not also offer to host any given date or pay their way. The worst experience I had of that sort from a man on a first date was when he insisted we not tip the waiter so his 50% contribution would accordingly be reduced by a few quid. I was mortified and tipped the waiter fully myself. And I was fully turned off him. So PGGB, you have got another answer on "these women" (there have been plenty of previous ones too, but perhaps you filtered out "those women").
When I read the first post, yes I didn't know whether op was expecting a male to pay per se or whether she just had the common etiquette that the asker to the first date also hosts it (which seems pure logic). But what came over to me was that the op could tell instinctively that this man was tight and mean by seeing him take his attention away from their happy shared vibe to dwell on a calculation that probably did not save him that much money, but was disproportionate in that it took all the joie de vivre out of the evening's experience and just sought to make it the cheapest possible for himself rather than a hospitable gift to his guest.
To me this is about hospitality not gender and the posters saying meanness with money always signifies meanness emotionally, are absolutely spot on.
The poster does not come over to me as equally mean as he was, she comes over as deflated and disappointed that the man in her company was not completely taken up with showing her a good time but was asking for his hospitality back; as if a first date that he had himself generated, was a potential ripoff rather than a generous gesture. That is simply repulsive.
So take it from a dyed-in-the-wool nearly pensioner feminist, daughter and grand-daughter of feminists, who usually had her wallet out first with men, it's quite instinctively immediately apparent when someone is mean whether they are male or female and paying 100%, 50% or nothing. OP is right to listen to her instinct.