Firstly, your ‘friends’ were incredibly tactless and hurtful to boast in front of you and your DH. The evening your described sounds very painful and, I have to say, familiar from experiences we had when my children were younger.
My DH and I found ourselves in a most peculiar position. We are from moderate beginnings, he from the lower middle class, comfortable and asprational, my parents were both working class but wanting to do their best in life until a disastrous divorce stymied their efforts.
Despite no degree he was clever and rose in journalism to a well paid job on a top national paper while I taught. We were comfortable but, by no means rich, and had two children. Because the fees were cheaper than childcare we kept the children at nearby prep schools until eleven plus time and nearly went broke doing it.
The children’s friends were incredibly rich. Some owned or inherited businesses and others worked for oil companies and banks. Their children were indulged with anything they wanted and lived a Rolls Royce lifestyle with foreign holidays and indulgences the norm.
We were the jam in the sandwich. Our former friends resented us for being ‘rich’ as if someone had given us our moderate amount of money though not one of them did the hours we did. Our new friends rubbed our noses in it for being poor and ‘mean’ because we couldn’t afford to do what they did.
We saw a lot of the poor side of human nature and became somewhat isolated. We worried about the children mostly as they would have to adjust to working when their richer friends, in their late twenties, are still ‘playing’ and ‘travelling on their parents’ largesse. They have been fine and grammar school was a complete social mix which opened their eyes to some really poor home situations.
We learned to do what we called the ‘life audit’ where we acknowledged comparative disadvantages but focussed on the good things. We compared ourselves with those in poor countries who have nothing and those in the UK with less and counted our blessings. We reinforced our beliefs that happiness comes from inside, not money, and it is also engendered through family and affection. (I am afraid we were dropped by many friends for being too rich or too poor). We read, walk, engage in seeing nature, culture and art and keep ourselves busy.
It has been useful to count our blessings as my DH was made redundant last year and has been unable to find another so we are actually quite skint now. Luckily we never indulged in the five star life so we are used to living ‘low’.
I did a Yougov poll yesterday which asked me how happy, out of ten, I was and what life satisfaction out of ten I felt I had. No one answers ten. I answered nine.
It might be that you should see less of these friends if they continue to be insensitive but, in any case, I would definitely recommend the life audit and thinking of three reasons to be grateful and happy every day.
Grateful people, I observe, are happy, and resentful folks unhappy, no matter how much or how little money any of them has.